"I'm not eating dinner! Tortilla soup is disgusting. If you make me eat it, I'm going to throw up."
"Don't puke on my floor. Use this bucket instead."
"I'm fine."
"Hold your skull goblet with two hands or I'm taking it away."
"Oops. Sorry. I should of held it with two hands. Instead of cleaning up the mess that I made because I didn't listen, I'm going to just sit here with a dumb look on my face and wait for you to hand me a paper towel."
"Mom, we need more toothpaste."
"I just bought you some."
"I didn't do it."
"Please hold the Santa bowl with two hands."
"I got it!"
"I'm sure you do, but please hold it with two hands anyway."
"Oops. I should have held it with two hands."
"What's that circle with the dot in the middle that is between my legs?"
"Your breast."
Yep, looks like scenes from my house. I especially love the "don't throw up on the carpet, use this." That is classic!
ReplyDeleteAnd which kid may I ask put your breast between your legs. You may need to have a little talk with that one.
Ha! Love the portrait, very nice. Karen's right, you may need to have a little talk with the artist.
ReplyDeleteLately, my girls' go-to line when I make them eat disgusting food is "I'm going to starve myself." At least their leaving my floors out of it, I say.
That last one really made me laugh:) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI get the 'it's child abuse to make me eat stuff like this' line a lot.
ReplyDeleteDidn't I something like 'it's all fun and games until they learn how to talk' a while back? This is what I was talking about!
PS it is kind of funny when it's happening to someone else...
Sounds like my day already and it's only 8:30am!
ReplyDeleteI am wondering what the teacher thought of that picture!! That is too funny. NO-- you are not alone in those kid of days.... (well maybe the breast picture :)
ReplyDeleteI love the crotch boob. That is HILARIOUS.
ReplyDeleteAnd your placement of the barf receptacle is awesome...
For us, last week, it was the precise same toothpaste scene. We need some crappy, unappealling toothpaste around here.
hahahahaha. Oh man, I remember days when I was like this as a child (mainly the throwing up thing, I'm still a picky eater...). Sounds like its time for an anatomy lesson.
ReplyDeleteMy day exactley, in fact, my son just knocked my expensive Panera Bread salad all over the floor. Yum! I laughed so hard about the boob part.
ReplyDeleteROFL! Same here.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I haven't had a portrait done like that one. ;-)
oh my goodness Jana, this is SO funny. And I think to anyone who didn't have children, it would be only mildly amusing and maybe a little disturbing. But to those of us who KNOW what it's like, it's SO SO funny and so familiar, but just not funny when it happens at our house. Thanks for a great laugh.
ReplyDeleteYou gave me a glimpse of what I'm in for once my trio gets a bit older...THANKS!
ReplyDeleteI swear my child made the same portrait. However, it was of my husband. I can only imagine what the Teacher's at school thought. We had a little talk with our daughter how she's not allowed to come in the bathroom anymore while Mommy and Daddy are getting ready. That hasn't went over very well by the way. So glad that it has happened to someone else! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI have all those things (in one day) EXCEPT the breast between the legs.
What a day! Thanks for the laugh!
Wait a minute...are you living my life?!!?
ReplyDelete"I believe that children are our future, teach them well then let them lead the way....."
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to laugh at your misery but I guess it is funny because I encounter these things daily as well. You gotta love the naughty and odd behaviors a new baby brings out in it's older siblings. Glad to see you are still laughing.
ReplyDeleteOh, Meanest Mom.........
ReplyDeleteYou make me tired.
And make me laugh.
So it balances out.
That was hilarious. Especially that portrait of you! LOL
ReplyDeleteOh good heavens, what a day!
ReplyDeleteThat portrait of you is hilarious. I don't know what else to say.
Oh that was my day today! It ended like this:
ReplyDelete"wash my hands, wash my hands, wash my hands!!!"
"your hands are fine. can't you see i'm on the computer."
"wash my hands, wash my hands."
"your hands..........what is that on your hands?"
"why are your hands sticky?"
I head off to investigate.
Triplet#2 has a bottle of pancake syrup and is decorating the living room with it. Syrup is everywhere: hardwood floor, sofa, coffee table, rug, all over themselves. It's a nightmare.
I put them all in the bathtub and then straight to bed at 6:30 so I could come clean up the mess. Thank God they didn't get it on the dog.
Oh thank you. I really needed a laugh and yours hit the spot :)
ReplyDeleteThat is just too funny.
ReplyDeletei can't stop chuckling. thank your for your humor.
ReplyDeleteWhat comes after this??? I love that I'm not the only one with insane children.
ReplyDeleteOh my heck. I have had so many days like that. Thanks for reminding me.
ReplyDeleteI can soooo relate to this post! This could easily be our house! Hope your weekend gets better!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!
ReplyDeleteYou never stop making me laugh. I appreciate that you are able to keep your humor through everything.
I've been reading you for a while, but never posted.
But I did want to say that your posts bring a smile to my face, and somedays that is a hard feat to accomplish!
I am so glad that I stumbled across your blog. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving me my laugh for the day :o)
We haven't heard from you in a few days. We are sending prayers your way! Hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteWell - I totally get the whole breast thing! I think it is right on target...am I the only mom out here who feels just a little ticked off that "perky" is no longer a word I can use to describe myself? Dang kids: always telling things like they are. :)
ReplyDeleteJana - I just love you and totally and completely get it!!!! Hope all is well!
Why don't we all live on the street? Life would be so much better!
ReplyDeleteLOL, So, So, So funny, and so right on the mark. The "breast" picture takes the cake.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm still laughing.
All in a mom's day's work, babe :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, I cannot stop laughing at that portrait. Holy cow, that's funny stuff!
ReplyDeleteOh I have tears coming down from laughing! I'm sorry. BTDT far too many times already!!!
ReplyDeleteThe portrait...yeah...makes me hope my kids stick to drawing pictures of each other and leave me out of it!
You are my new best friend. I hope that's OK with you. I am in actual pain from laughing.
ReplyDeleteOk, sometimes I think you are making this stuff up except that sometimes they sound just like my kids and sometimes you have pictures to back up your story. I'm sorry your breast has sagged THAT far down. => Must be the effects of 4 kids in 4 years.
ReplyDeleteI am going back in time reading this, but I have 5 kids, and am on bed rest with baby #6. I laughed so hard at this story that I cried! Thank you so much for this one. You are hilarious and will make my month more of bed rest go much faster!
ReplyDeleteBridgit Harness