January 20, 2009

A Haiku for the Stomach Flu


Day 1

The sound of upchuck
In the middle of the night
Makes my heart rejoice

Here is a bucket
I know that you don't feel good
Please try to make it

Day 2
I am out of Sprite
All I have is apple juice
Take it or leave it

Your hands are not sick
I do not want your tissue
Go throw it away

Day 3
I'm sorry you're bored
Please do not touch anything
Especially my food

Get back in your bed
Sick people do not eat cake
You can have oatmeal

Day 4
I will take the chance
That you are not contagious
And send you to school


***
Have a visitor at your house? Stomach flu? Double ear infections? Chronic chest cold? Rotavirus? Hypochondria?

All worthy of a haiku in the comments I think.

Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables

39 comments:

  1. This is how last week started...

    Mom, I don't feel good
    From the front seat I look back
    Car now full of barf

    ReplyDelete
  2. We have had it too.
    And with only one bathroom
    It was a challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My visitors are
    My in-laws for seven days
    Flu not look so bad

    ReplyDelete
  4. You have a fever!
    My leg and my finger hurt...
    Are you sure that's all?

    At 3:30 this morning! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha, so much for plans over the weekend!

    Stomach flu here too.
    We should own stock in Lysol.
    Quick grab the bucket.

    No fever today.
    I feel a break coming soon.
    To school you must go!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mom my tummy hurts
    I puked all over my bed
    Can I go play now?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Influenza beast
    get out of my house you jerk
    you're making me mad.

    ReplyDelete
  8. She's sick all weekend.
    I hope to get stuff done now.
    No luck. Home again.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mommy, I feel sick
    But don't want to sleep alone
    Let me share my germs

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your wit is divine
    I wish I could be like you
    One day, with practice

    ReplyDelete
  11. So glad you gave the directions on a haiku because I have would have had no idea haha.

    ReplyDelete
  12. No poo in three days
    I don't know what more to do
    Constipated girl

    Prune juice for dinner
    Upset tummy makes you scream
    I can't put you down

    ReplyDelete
  13. Too tired to clean puke.
    Cover it with a towel.
    Save it for later.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Son needs two stitches
    Mom is alone with all kids
    Where's Dad? Playing golf!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thirteen-month-old twins
    Equals stomach flu times two
    Vomit. Bathe. Repeat.

    ReplyDelete
  16. "Can I have ice cream?"
    "No it's not good for pukers."
    Praise Pedialyte.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. (previous post was off a little)


    So tired. I wonder
    why your germs you pass to me,
    leaving you to play...

    ReplyDelete
  19. It must have been the
    peanut butter sandwich from
    last night, she said, ralph.

    1 o'clock, 2,5
    6 am it comes
    spewing in the john

    it smelled like candy
    it looked like pink barf
    the toilet did flush

    ReplyDelete
  20. The snot that I've wiped
    From all of my girls' noses
    A river is less

    "Look Mommy", I hear
    Gross, what's hanging from your nose?
    She wipes on the couch

    Ashamed to admit
    I do not quickly clean it
    instead say, "use your shirt"

    ReplyDelete
  21. My children are sick.
    Hypochondriac husband,
    Suddenly dying!

    How can Mom be sick?
    She is a superhuman!
    Cure? Let's make a mess!

    Flu bug, you vile beast
    Share your joy with my neighbors.
    They'll drive me to drink!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Son has the sniffles
    "No big deal," I say, until
    I get sniffles too

    ReplyDelete
  23. You are a genius
    Bringing laughter to my day
    All hail meanest mom

    ReplyDelete
  24. I hurt my damn knee
    I do not remember how
    Probably whiskey

    ReplyDelete
  25. Mother of triplets
    Sick twenty four seven
    For the first five years

    ReplyDelete
  26. Please don't cough on me
    What? You want me to hold you?
    And your brother, too?

    Here, watch a cartoon
    Please don't vomit on the couch
    Oh, your ears hurt too?

    No ice cream for you
    Motrin. Its what's for breakfast
    Please go back to school!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am so impressed
    With your creative genius
    You guys rock my socks

    ReplyDelete
  28. There's snow on the ground.
    Please stop that hacking cough.
    Tomorrow is school.

    (Oh, PS, my "word verification" word?? Varmit. That rocks.)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Haiku for a Hypochodriac

    Yes, Brother was sick
    Last weekend for two whole days.
    No, you are not sick.

    I made him jello.
    You got to eat some as well.
    I will not make more.

    He laid on the couch.
    You do not need to lay there.
    For you are not sick.

    You've played fine all day
    Until I told you "pick up!"
    I say it again.

    I will make you cry.
    Put this stinking junk away
    Child, you are not sick!

    ReplyDelete
  30. hubbie is a child
    crying, moaning, bed-ridden
    because of sore throat.

    ReplyDelete
  31. please sit here with me
    and take a deep breath of germs
    stay the whole night

    with luck tomorrow
    you'll be ill too and we can
    share a cosy bed

    Fantastic haiku's! I've been laughing or rather coughing my head off...

    ReplyDelete
  32. My head's killing me,
    If you don't stop fighting now
    I WILL throw this shoe.

    What clever readers you have, my dear. I haven't written a Haiku since elementary school. It was fun to read all of them--I'm glad I showed up late for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  33. It isn't about sickness, but, having a preteen daughter, it is an affliction...

    Puberty is here.
    That most dreaded time of life.
    Oh Lord, Give me strength.

    ReplyDelete
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  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. I happened upon your blog and really enjoy it. I am a mom of twins in Philly as well-- so if I see you at Costco feel free to tell me that I "have my hands full" and I will reply with the obligatory "Oh my God, I could never do THAT" and point at your children.
    Anyway, I can no longer contain my urge to comment. I love a hiaku.

    three weeks of sickness
    now everybody is well
    wait, mom's going down!

    --Angela

    ReplyDelete
  37. Ok, I loved YOUR poems, but the comments just spread the love even further!

    Here's a haiku dedicated to my kids:

    We have been moving.
    Every muscle I have hurts.
    Don't complain to me.

    Lots of green boogers?
    Go get yourself a kleenex.
    Throw it away too.

    Once I get some sleep
    I promise to be less mean.
    I might even cook.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Cover your sneezes!
    No matter how I love you
    I want not your germs.

    Cover your coughing!
    Yes, dear, I will hold you but
    I want not your germs.

    Please use a tissue.
    Make sure it goes in the trash.
    I want not your germs.

    How they smile sweetly,
    Full of vim and vigor now
    That I have their germs.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete