Exposed

This morning, I made my weekly pilgrimage to Marshalls. I rarely buy anything at the discount clothing store, but if given enough time, I will try on just about everything.

Some people have productive hobbies like running and stamping. I like to try on clothes that I have no intention of purchasing.

Usually I take care of business in the designated place for such activities (AKA the dressing room). Today, however, I had a reason to be socially inappropriate. I had Cameron with me and he decided very early on that he was going to wage war with the shopping cart's seat belt. My time was short.

I was in the middle of the store when I decided to slip a blouse on over the one that I was wearing. I could tell immediately that the shirt was too big and so I took it off and hung it back on the hanger and continued sifting through the rack.

Here's where the gods punished me for my perpetual window shopping.

After I put the shirt back on the rack, it took me a full 30 seconds to realize that I was walking around the store in just my underwear.

Don't ask me to explain how I didn't notice a) that I was topless and b) that my shirt was stuffed inside the blouse that I had hung back on the rack. My husband has asked me these questions several times today, and the answers still elude me.

All I do know is that when I realized what I had done, I dove to the ground and army-crawled to the blouse. When I stood up again, three other shoppers had their hands over their mouths.

One said loudly to her friend, "What does that woman think she's doing?"

Once again, I do not have answers to these kinds of questions.