August 27, 2010

Shoes

My husband and I have spent a considerable chunk of the past two years worrying about our youngest son. Cameron was born with some problems related to his contraction of a virus in utero and has struggled in nearly every area of growth and development. My worries compound considerably on days like today, when Cameron was around kids roughly his same age.

I came home from the park stressed, frustrated, and in desperate need of a Coke. After kicking off my shoes and removing Cameron's at the front door, I made my way to the refrigerator. When I returned, I found that my son had taken his shoes and put them inside of mine.

A small gesture and a tender reminder of what I know, but too often forget: namely, that while most of our kids eventually will get where they're going, some will walk with us a little while longer than others.

82 comments:

  1. What a tender moment. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. So sweet. Thanks for reminding me to enjoy the journey and be grateful for what I have.

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  3. Wonderful post today! Just beautiful! Thank you!

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  4. You're a wise momma. One of the reasons why Cameron was entrusted to you.

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  5. Heart-warmingly precious. And lovely words to go with a poinant picture.

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  6. jeleighbeanAugust 27, 2010

    What a beautiful picture. You are a lucky momma, indeed. :)

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  7. What a sweet boy. :-)

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  8. Yeah, it's those moments, isn't it? Thanks for sharing.

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  9. That made me tear up. I too have a daughter who will always be behind and this reminded me how precious it can be. Thank you!

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  10. So sorry to hear about your struggles with Cameron but what a sweet and poignant reminder of how special all children are. Thank you for sharing with us... children are such gifts.

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  11. I hardly ever comment here, but this post brought tears to my eyes, and I just had to say that you are so brave for putting yourself out there in your blog. This was such a sweet post, thank you for sharing.

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  12. Beautiful post. I need to look for more of these little reminders.

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  13. a sweet reminder. thanks for sharing. you are a wonderful mom. :)

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  14. I have a son on the autism spectrum. Thank the LORD he is highly functioning. Some days are more challenging than others.

    I've come to accept the fact that he will always be a little bit behind. My hope is that he will be with us for as long as he needs to be and then fly off on his own.

    Blessings to you and Cameron. He will be just fine! :)

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  15. Such a great story. I'd print that one out and frame it. Seriously.

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  16. This was beautiful Jana. I hoped you gave Camie some good snuggles and kisses today and that he made you feel much better! Wonderful piece today!

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  17. What a sweet son you have. I'm glad you can remember to cherish the moments with your children cuz that's easy to forget in the day-to-day mess of life.

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  18. lil tear. A good tear. (sigh) Thanks for sharing.

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  19. I have a Cameron, too! He is a little older than yours (almost 3) and he has autism and is non-verbal and severely delayed in most areas. I have had so many days like the one you just described. This brought tears to my eyes!

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  20. Very well said.

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  21. Beautiful. Thank you.

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  22. well, this made me cry too! I have a 16 month old daugther will hip dysplasia that has been in a body cast and now in a brace so she doesn't crawl or walk at all. I have been carrying her a lot and keeping her a lot of very close company since her mind can go places but her little feet can't, especially because she has two very active older brothers. I have friends with babies her age and my heart aches when I see them reach all their developmental milestones and my little girl is behind. I have had a few of days like yours, so I appreciate your post and picture too since she litterally carries her shoes in mine. Just remember when you look back on your tracks and think you are walking alone, who is really carrying you...HE can support you and give your little boy the push he needs to reach all the goals he is supposed to reach in his life. You are the greatest meanest mom I know...;)

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  23. I love Cameron so much. I have been saying a special prayer for him since the first diagnosis when you were pregnant. These moments are truly special.

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  24. That is adorable (and so are your shoes! :)

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  25. What a sweet gesture. I live for moments such as these. It's easy to overlook them.

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  26. This brought tears to my eyes... such a heart warming perspective.

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  27. I work in early intervention, and every day I spend time with children who are delayed or disabled. And it is the most rewarding, humbling job ever. I feel the enormous amount of love that Heavenly Father, mothers, fathers, and family have for each of these little children who struggle more than others. Cameron is a special spirit, I am sure.

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  28. Thanks for this. We have a little guy we worry about too, thanks to a very rough start.

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  29. Awww, I needed to read that today, as my six month old leaves me sleep deprived again!

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  30. I have 2 children who are dwarfs and I can relate to struggling with comparing their abilities and development to others their age.

    It was hardest with 1st child who was a dwarf. My son has 4 cousins his same age and some family members always made comments comparing thier babies to mine, making sure to point out the obvious differences. They didn't have a clue of the anguish of my own mental comparisons. It also didn't help that he had hydrocephalis and had to have a shunt put in at 8 months.

    Over the years I've learned to just accept and love them at their own level. I've appreciated what they can do, in their own timing and their own terms. I don't do growth charts at my house (though they all know how tall they are in relation to ride hight limits:) and milestones are all personal and never compared to anyone else.

    I'm much more at peace now and I'm able to celebrate them without feeling that they are less than in comparison to others.

    Thanks for the reminder again to just appreciate them as they are.

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  31. Beautiful!! Thank you for sharing!

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  32. That is just what I needed. Especially as I am hiding on the internet, listening to the baby do everything BUT take a nap.

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  33. I love it. You're the best!

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  34. I needed that reminder. Your son is already changing the life of strangers...infusing wisdom and hope. Thank you.

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  35. I come to you for a laugh and now you remind me of this! I struggle so much with remembering that. My daughter has epilepsy and is so behind and I literally lay awake worrying about her. Thanks for this.

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  36. You remind us of the funny, crazy moments in parenting, and now you remind us of those hard moments. My favorite part, though, is that when you needed it the most, you were open to the message God sent to you to remind you (and us through this blog) that it's about our own personal moments, not whatever is "normal" these days, and to enjoy them while we have them - too soon they will be gone.

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  37. Wow. I just clicked over hear expecting to laugh and instead you brought a tear to my eye. So sweet!

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  38. This is one of the most beautiful, tender things I've read in a long long time.

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  39. love that. my son has down syndrome and some days are a bit harder than others. i needed this sweet reminder today.

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  40. What a sweet sweet sweet post...brought tears to my eyes. That beautiful baby boy of yours is in just the right hands.

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  41. This speaks volumes to me...so needed to hear it right now.

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  42. That's just awesome! Great post.

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  43. What a sweet moment. Amazing!

    Thanks for sharing.

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  44. Such a simple moment...such a powerful reminder. Thanks!

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  45. Awww, see? You're not so mean after all... ;) That was beautiful and the picture is the cutest. Thanks for sharing.

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  46. We have a pre teen hi func autistic son. This would be his first year of middle school but I am homeschooling him instead. Feels normal and his siblings don't mind at all.

    We always talk about what job he might have and how to prep him for it. When we were in middleschool who knew about the world of computer? So who knows what jobs will be available when he is ready to work??

    We know he will never live on his own- we hope he will be able to rotate amongst family members once in awhile and work on a computer from home.

    But we know he will always need help- and that's ok.

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  47. What a truly moving and beautiful post. I agree with a previous commenter, you should print that out and frame it. I rarely comment, but wanted you to know that I have shared this post with many friends and family and they were all equally moved as well. Thank-you for sharing this touching moment with us. Sometimes we all need a little reminder.

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  48. Love your blog! Thanks for sharing the good and the bad. I too have a child who is severely disabled. While I not only accept, but embrace her, some days the reminders of what could have been are too strong. True grace is the ability to see the special moments - thanks for the reminder!

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  49. Perfect. I understand, and have the same with my son.

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  50. I just want to give you a hug and, despite being virtual strangers, say I love you, you're doing a great job and you are right! Sweet little Cameron may have some challenges, but he was created perfectly, just as he is, with all the difficulties, to fulfill a purpose only he can...and he'll fulfill them because of all he's been through and all you're doing as his Mommy!

    I have been through a similar thing with my son, the hardest times being exactly what you just went through...when with other kids his age! Thank the Lord we know He never makes a mistake...ever!!

    Hugs to you and that sweet family...thanks for your honesty!! Cameron is going to be an amazing man!

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  51. What a surprise to find myself tearing up reading your post and not because I was laughing uncontrollably.
    It was a well timed reminder for this me. thank you.

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  52. Aww. Great post. Great pic!

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  53. I am a mom of a special needs boy (Asperger's) and this post was just what I needed today. Thanks Jana!

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  54. This was the worst time for me to read this!! My husband took my son to play outside and I'm sitting here, 5 months pregnant, bawling my eyes out!! If they were here, I may have been able to compose myself a little better. What a great reminder to always cherish our little ones, no matter what they are and are not able to do.

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  55. This brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing!

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  56. Thank you for your post, a very timely one for me. I also happen to have Crohn's and my three-year-old has been recovering from a brain and spinal tumor for the past year. It can be really hard seeing him struggle to climb on the playground when other kids his age jump, play, and run with ease. I really appreciate your reminder to keep an eternal perspective, laugh, and enjoy this ride. Thanks so much!

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  57. Oh, needed this today. xxoo.
    Mindi and Mac

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  58. Kim GinsbergAugust 30, 2010

    Very touching. As parents we all need a little reminder like this :)
    Thanks for sharing the special moment. And I agree with the others, print and frame that adorable picture. You'll always look at it and smile!

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  59. Your blog is wonderful- I look forward to reading every new post. I gave you an award on my blog (www.threecrazymunchkins.blogspot.com)-check it out!

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  60. thanks for making me cry. (dang preggo bormones)
    I love your blog so much, and this is one of the many reasons why!

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  61. Oh man, this did me in. I love your blog. You and Cameron are lucky to have each other.

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  62. Very sweet and tender moment. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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  63. Thanks for the reminder to always look at everything carefully around us...we just might find a message!

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  64. So let me just say, that this post proves that you are definitely NOT the meanest mom. You are an amazing mom and it is those tender moments that make it all worth it.

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  65. beautiful. Very well said

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  66. Thank you. My daughter called home after her first week of college and wants to "talk". I'm worried she's not ready to face college. She doesn't haven't any diagnosed problems but she's just younger than some. I needed this post so I remember that she just might need to walk with us a bit longer.

    i know it's not anything like what you're dealing with but it really spoke to me. Thanks.

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  67. Love it!! Thanks for the reminder!

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  68. Jennifer B.August 31, 2010

    Very sweet and touching. Thanks!

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  69. Jana, you already know that Ainsley and I are with ya' all the way on this one. Happily, they seem to be developing at *exactly* the same pace, meaning that the stars are aligning for them to meet their own True Love. We might as well betroth them now. I'm cheering for you from North Carolina.

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  70. Yeah, our youngest (almost 2 as well) is also very small & "behind" for her age due to problems early in her life.....but every now and again we get reminded that she just needs a little more time than most others, but it's always worth it when we get to see her progress and grow.

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  71. Absolute sweetness.

    Love-love the blog. Your storytelling style and perspective are refreshingly honest and real.

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  72. Oh Jana. One of my twins is a bit delayed, which is a source of heartache to me. He is also the sweeter, more affectionate of my babies. Thanks for the reminder that each baby is special and wonderful, regardless of how quickly they develop.

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  73. I tear up reading this one...I have a precious little one with delays and you just summed up how I feel perfectly! xxoxoxoxox luv luv luv your blog!

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