I've repeated these words to myself at least 100 times since flashing my father-in-law this morning.
Fifteen hours later, I am still struggling to believe them.
The unfortunate incident occurred at approximately 6:15am this morning. Shortly after turning off the shower, I realized that there weren't any towels in the master bathroom. Although undesirable, it wasn't the end of the world; there was a stack of clean ones ten feet away on top of my dresser. The journey from shower to dresser would have been uneventful if my husband had remembered to close the bedroom door when he went downstairs to feed the kids their breakfasts. Alas, he did not, and at the exact moment that I leaned in to close the open door, my father-in-law happened to walk past it. Our eyes met in total and complete horror. I was 100% naked.
I spent the next ten minutes curled up in the fetal position in the back of my closet.
"This might be my worst nightmare," I told my husband as I rocked back and forth.
He crouched down next to me and apologized. Then he suggested that what happened wasn't that big of a deal.
On this point, we have a difference of opinion.
Two hours later, I had the pleasure of driving my in-laws to the airport. The ride wasn't at all awkward; my mother -in-law counted the number of McDonald's restaurants she saw out the window while my father-in-law busied himself with a map of the Magic Kingdom.
"The next time I come, I want to spend more time in the gift shops," he said to no one in particular.
I can only imagine the conversations that will take place this weekend in California.
Friends/Neighbors/Children of In-laws: "How was Orlando? What did you see?"
Father-in-Law: "More than I bargained for."
Ugh.
All that comes to mind are these four words: "This too shall pass."
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me of a similar incident that happened years ago. Except I was about 14, fully developed, and popped out of the bathroom to go to my bedroom (the doors were side-by-side and on the second floor) only to be greeted by my cousin's 20-something boyfriend. When I told my cousin how embarrassed I was and how red my face must've turned, she replied, "I don't think he noticed your face." UGH
ReplyDeletecould have been a lot worse.
ReplyDeleteyou could have seen HIM 100% naked...
:)
Check out
ReplyDeletehttp://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2010/09/it-was-very-unfortunate.html
I feel your pain but also had a little giggle because you wrote it down just so darn funny =)
OMG!!!! I am totally blushing for you!!!!!
ReplyDelete~The Mama Monster
Do you read nie nie? She had a similar experience: http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2010/09/it-was-very-unfortunate.html
ReplyDeleteI'm soo soo sorry for you!
I'm cringing for you.
ReplyDeleteYep.
Oh no! One of my worst nightmares! I'm breastfeeding and I'm pretty sure my father-in-law has seen my fully exposed breast multiple times, but I think your day was a little worse! Sorry!
ReplyDeleteWow. I feel uncomfortable in a bathing suit in front of my father-in-law and I am NOT a two-piece gal. I simply can't imagine the horror. I just can't think of any words of comfort for you...
ReplyDeleteOnce I grabbed my father-in-law in the upper upper thigh thinking it was my husband. ahhh! I feel your pain. He still teases me about it. But it took about a month for it to be funny.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Sounds just like an experience NieNie had a few short weeks back with the carpet cleaner.
ReplyDeletehttp://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2010-09-20T01%3A00%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=20
Misery loves company, or so they say! (I'm more like you're husband, it wouldn't be a big deal to me!)
Oh and I guess blog readers fun in circles. Cause when I actually read down your list of comments I see that at the least 3 other readers have already told you about Nienie's post.
ReplyDeleteJust think, one day you two will be able to laugh about this!
OH MY WORD. I cannot imagine.
ReplyDeleteI'm sooooo sorry!!!!
LOL A daughter in law's worst nightmare! You poor thing!
ReplyDeleteI once walked in on my father-in-law in his unmentionables. I kept tripping trying to get out the door. So awkward. Your situation sounds so much worse. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. Really. You have my permission to remain in the fetal position for at least a week.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't the only one, it's true! I was in the shower and I knew my in-laws were coming so I was rushing to get out. Right when I threw open the shower curtain my Father AND Mother-in-law were both standing right in front of the bathroom door my husband had left WIDE open! All I could do was pull it back in front of me and yell "ZACKARY YOU LEFT THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN" in the meanest tone I could muster!
ReplyDeleteI was once at a special fundraising event for my university (Southern VA University). I was sent to a back room to get my then fiance's (now hubby) clothes for a singing event and walked in on his Bishop in his underwear (he was also needing to change clothes, apparently). Very awkward. I thought I was going to die and could not look him in the eye for months. Two years later it's not a big deal but oh it was awful at first!
ReplyDeletehahahahahahah!!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay I will stop laughing now
Really
I will
I am sooooo sorry.
Two weeks ago my father in law was visiting and I walked in on him in the bathroom.
Apparently we need more visitors at my house becuase I have no boundaries. A closed bathroom door means nothing to me - I just walk right in.
You Poor Thing!
*shivering* My father in law is visiting in 2 weeks... I will be VERY careful now!!
ReplyDeleteI walked in on my father in law in the bathroom once. It was never mentioned again. Maybe it never even happened. . .
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh my gosh. Seriously. I just almost died, it was so funny.
ReplyDeleteOh no, no no! I feel for you. I could never live it down if my father-in-law had seen me au natural!
ReplyDeleteI have never been so grateful that my father in law doesn't visit. I'm sorry!
ReplyDeleteoh hugs. that sucks.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me grateful that my FIL is dead... seriously.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. My father-in-law walked into my bedroom and I was lying on my bed in just my underwear. Well it was 11:30p.m. I thought it was my husband so did not bother. But when I heard him say I am so sorry, I turned and looked and I turned so red and off course at that moment I could find nothing to cover myself. Even the comforter was lying on the floor. I don't know what I blabbered and then I was also curled on my bed with the comforter rocking back and forth. After that incident, my FIL never came into our room without knocking. Good lesson to learn for both of us.
ReplyDeletethis could have easily been me today. I took a risk and walked naked from our room to the bath room (3 feet) while my FIL was downstairs. I will NEVER do that again after reading this post.... don't want to be in your situation. It was bad enough when he took our laundry out of the dryer, held up a pair of my panties, and asked: some people actually wear this?!? uhhmmm. yeah... me.... awkward!
ReplyDeleteMy most embarassing "nekkid" moment was while pumping milk for my screaming, hungry baby, the owner of the Bed and Breakfast we were staying at, who was trying to comfort my son, walked in on me and saw it all. I've never seen someone backtrack so quickly in my life.
ReplyDeleteAt least I never have to see her again, while you are stuck with your FIL for eternity....
Oh, you poor soul. I think there's an easy solution to this. You'll need to see him naked; then you'll be even.
ReplyDeleteOkay, now I've creeped myself out.
I'd like to offer a similar story by way of commiseration, but my life is one series of humiliations after the other, and I don't have enough time before the bus arrives.
Console yourself with the fact that compare to future humiliation, this one is probable a cake walk. Stiff upper lip and all that, ya hear?
Rock on, Meanie.
This is my biggest fear every time my in-laws visit!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. But it is really funny. Maybe your writing is what's really funny.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think the 'eye-to-eye' was the worst part. When you get past that, you'll be fine.
I thought I was having a crappy morning until I read this.... :)
ReplyDeleteI walked it on my MIL totally naked in my house. She thought it was funny, I thought it was mortifying. Needless to say, she is a hairy woman. We'll leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in labor with my oldest my father in law walked in while they were placing a catheter. I was so drugged up I didn't even know until my husband told me about it.
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! First Nie Nie now you!! Is it something in the air?!!
ReplyDeleteYou just brought back a horrible memory. My in-laws were visiting for a week, staying in our room while we had a mattress on the floor in the dining room. I was breastfeeding at the time and in the wee hours of the morning I noticed surprisingly that my baby had slept all night, with the consequence that I was soaked down the front.
ReplyDeleteSince the bedroom door was closed I assumed my inlaws were still in there asleep, so I threw my shirt off & ran for the laundry room, right through the livingroom where my early rising father in law was sitting. Oops.
It taught me two lessons - 1st, don't assume anything, 2nd -get the inlaws a hotel.
The summer before my husband and I got married I flew out to visit him at his parents' house. My friends had thrown me a little party the week before, so all of the lovely little 'goodies' from the party were still in my suitcase. While my then fiance and I were out, my future mother-in-law went into my room to clean up a bit, and accidentally knocked over my suitcase. All of the pretty little trashy underwears and sex toys from my party fell onto the floor. In her hurry to get everything cleaned up, she knocked her glasses off her face, and couldn't find them in the midst of all the black lacey things. So instead of calmly looking again, she called her husband and her best friend and told them the story. And then when I got home told me, and asked if I could go find her glasses. They were sitting on top of the pleasure pack of condoms. I hid in the bathroom and cried for about an hour.
ReplyDeleteLook on the bright side -- now you have a "most embarrassing moment" when people ask!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, that is AWFUL! That would definitely be my worst nightmare. So sorry. Hope the shock wears off soon.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I have no idea how you recover from that! I'm sure he was just as embarassed, if not more, than you were! It'll be okay ... maybe you guys can laugh about it in a few years (or act like it never happened)?
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, I accidentally passed gas LOUDLY in front of my in-laws. My husband tickled my side, I jumped in surprise, and ... out it came.
It still haunts me.
I love that you were totally embarrassed by the incident (a reasonable response, to be sure), but not so much that you wouldn't broadcast the moment to the whole world. Seriously, I'd love to actually be your friend in real life, and not just have this one-sided admiration of you from across the country.
ReplyDeleteROFL!!! Man, between Marshalls and your hallway, Florida has proven to be a place of nakedness...
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up!!!!!
I must agree that "worst nightmare" is a pretty good description! Maybe his eyesight isn't so great? :)
ReplyDeleteOMG Jana. That is hilarious. I remember laughing hysterically at my sister, who was 8 1/2 month pregnant and had a very similar experience with her teen-aged brother-in-law. She still believes she scarred him for life. Hopefully my laughing at your expense will not bring me bad karma. Because I think I would be traumatized.
ReplyDeleteI think you flash others more than the average mom of small children. You poor thing. Your husband should buy you a very fancy present to make it up to you. And maybe stay away from the in-laws for a while.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, my BIL walked in on me in an armchair, boobs totally exposed where my twins (as in babies) had detached and we had all zoned into unconciousness. He tried to sneak away and probably doesn't realize I came to and saw him.
ReplyDeleteBut I was too tired to care and I can't even remember if I covered up before zonking back out.
Oh Dear Jana!! There are four people in my husband's family, him, his brother, his mom and dad. 75% of that family has seen my goods....horrific! I have the best timing! =)
ReplyDeleteHi there!
ReplyDeleteNew follower..
Hope you stop by too.. ;)
I don't have an in-law story, just a step-son story. He was married and did not keep his farm work clothes at his place in town. He kept them at our farm home but instead of changing in the downstairs bathroom, he went upstairs to his little half-bros room to change. Our bathroom is at the top of the stairs across from the boys room. I had forgotten my robe and walked to my bedroom in the buff but one day my step-son was walking up the stairs as I was walking by..... all I said was"why do you have to change up here anyway?" And I trotted away--it was worse for him since I'm an obese women and I probably scared him for life.....He stopped changing upstairs. You probably have a great body and as life goes "it is as it is" can't change it, it happens to the best of us.
ReplyDeleteThat was the BEST opening sentence. It already had me in stitches :)
ReplyDeleteabout 18 years ago i accidently opened the bathroom door of my kids bathroom (why was he using that one?) only to see my father in law sitting on the pot! im scared for life!!!! i will never forget the image!!
ReplyDeleteAhahahahahahahahahaha!!!
ReplyDeleteIt REALLY isn't a big deal!
When I was a little girl my grandma was visiting and didn't lock the bathroom door while she was showering. I didn't know she was in there, so I opened the door and BAM!
Even worse was when I was at my friend's house in high school and her grandma came running down the hallway naked.
Things happen.
Blimey, I can see why you found that one embarrassing! You never know, it might of made his day. Ewww... thinking about it, that is gross too.
ReplyDeleteWell, your first mistake was being up at 6:15 in the morning. Nothing good happens at 6:15 in the morning.
ReplyDeleteAt some point, when he's old and feeble, you will be wiping his tush and helping him bathe. It will definitely be no big deal by then ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhen I was about 19, I went to the gynecologist for probably the 2nd time - after all of the "fun" stuff was over and I was standing in the middle of the exam room, without a stitch on, the door suddenly opened and the doctor returned to retrieve his stethoscope...that was lying on top of my clothes!
ReplyDeleteI think he was more embarrased than I was, don't think he was used to seeing women from that angle!
He was probably more embarrassed than you, though it may be hard to imagine :/
ReplyDeleteI once saw my boyfriends mother naked, I was definitely more embarrassed than she was... but that's a different issue!
I've flashed one neighbor and the Fed Ex guy, both times running down to the laundry room to get a towel ... home alone so should not have been a big deal, but husband left front door wide open ... the neighbor moved three days later. No sure if I had anything to do with it.
ReplyDeletemy ex fil once walked in on me as i was getting out of the shower. we got over it: i divorced his son and fil died a few years later.
ReplyDeleteSince this happened to me today, I am totally feeling your horror. I wrote about it on my blog and my friend pointed me in your direction. Right now I am giving a test (Im an ESL teacher) and just busted out laughing in this quiet, quiet room...it's just one of those days. Fortunately you got to drive your FIL to the airport to live on the other side of the country...i have to see my BIL EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and try my damndest to pretend like that DID NOT HAPPEN.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteAnd it could've been worse... :o/