I had to send an important email this morning and so I told my three older kids that I would give them each a dollar to keep Cameron occupied for twenty minutes.
A few minutes later, I heard my blender eat a spoon.
"Not a good time," I told the four smoothie makers. "I need you to do something less destructive."
Chasing each other around the house with foam baseball ball bats was not what I had in mind.
Neither was building a tent out of all of my bedding.
Or watching bloody videos of shark attacks on YouTube.
"Watch this movie instead for 10 minutes," I begged. "Please."
Why watch a movie when you make your own? I spent a considerable chunk of my evening deleting 100 still shots of my kids' nostrils from my cell phone camera.
At the end of 20 minutes, I had written exactly two sentences.
And forked over $3.
Candy might work better than money... It brings immediate satisfaction! (And saves you money)
ReplyDeletethey sound like horrible monsters. you should go on that nanny show where they teach you how to discipline little rascals.
ReplyDeleteOk.. Just read the lovely comment posted by the infamous anonymous.. I am hoping I am missing the just kidding, but oh well... Onto what I was going to say..
ReplyDeleteI think snacks usually works well in the bribing department as well!! :)
I think you should be proud of how enterprising they are! I've been in some stores where I feel like that after I leave...they'll probably be millionaires before they have facial hair.
ReplyDeleteSandy
www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com
Oh my goodness, this sounds like my house! This is why I haven't even tried to have a full time work-from-home job and am currently broke, lol. And if your kids are anything like mine (they sound like it), not much works in the bribe department. Maybe you can finish the email when they're asleep?
ReplyDeleteThe Crunchy (Grouchy) Mommy
I'm thinking that "anonymous" does not understand your tongue-in-cheek style of writing, or is simply missing a sense of humor...? As the firstborn of nine, I can tell you that one of the best forms of survival as a mother is to have a finely tuned sense of humor. They sound like perfectly normal, curious,and energetic kids to me. Plus, I agree that candy is better...until their mercenary glands develop. :)
ReplyDeleteOh does this bring back some memories for me. Soon I will get to experience my own form of Mommie Revenge. LOL... My dear daughter is expecting in August.. I will get to watch her go through what I did. I have 5 grown children. I am really going to enjoy being Grandma...
ReplyDeleteYou should not have paid. The contract became null and void when you had to get up from your chair to deal with them.
ReplyDeleteYou've been swindled.
I'm with Catherine on this. That'll teach 'em!
ReplyDeleteI too agree with Catherine!
ReplyDeleteAren't kids great ☺
TOTALLY would have had them pay ME $3! :)
ReplyDeleteanonymous #1 is crazy, and should probably read more of your posts...that and probably doesn't have children of their own...(thank goodness)
ReplyDeletethat being said...i bribe my kids with money all the time (ages 5 & 6) and i always end up being swindled as well:) love your blog keep it up!
anonymous #2
Haha! That's hilarious, and sounds like my kids! I was watching my 4 month nephew a few weeks ago and told my 5 year old I would give him $0.50 to help me babysit by keeping him company for a few minutes. His response..."you're going to give me 40 bucks?!?" Is that the rate of inflation right now?? haha
ReplyDeleteha ha ha...I can totally relate to this post!! Recently it took me 45 minutes to write a 5 line email. I LOVE having 5 kids!!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://perspectiveonparenting.blogspot.com
And I'm thinking of having a fourth. Thank you for stopping me.
ReplyDeleteI have been there, been there, been there... your pain, is felt :P
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can earn deduct the $3 based on the amount of time you had to spend re-making the bed, deleting the pics, fixing the blender, etc!
ReplyDeleteTo keep me out of her hair, my mom used to send me into the backyard to pick dandelions - at a penny a piece. I thought she just really like dandelions!!
Uh Oh...sounds like my house. Only I don't pay them...:)
ReplyDeleteI pay my kids to find stuff that they have lost. Mainly shoes, although there may be dollar tomorrow for anyone who finds a black softball glove.
ReplyDeleteOh man... That stinks!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat Job. Are you hiring ?
ReplyDeleteToo funny.
omgoodness, you crack me up! another great post.
ReplyDelete