This afternoon, I met some friends from the neighborhood at a community park. In all, there were 12 children at the park, including the two random teenagers who showed up midway through our play date and started making out on top of the picnic table.
"I am confused," one mom said as we watched the duo out of the corner of our eyes.
Of all the places to make a connection, the middle of a playground at 3 o'clock in the afternoon seemed an odd choice.
"I don't want to have this conversation with my kids today," another mom said as the couple got horizontal.
A philosophical conversation about the ethics of juvenile PDA ended with the decision that something had to be done.
Of course I picked the shortest stick.
I was practically on top of the couple before they noticed me. "Hmm," I said, clearing my throat loudly. "Excuse me."
The couple disentangled and sneered at me.
"Would you mind going somewhere a little more private?" I asked.
The girl half of the couple shook her head.
Seriously? She was all of 15.
"This is not a good time or place for this," I continued.
They rolled their eyes.
"What you are doing is inappropriate," I said a little louder.
Clearly I have a lot of authority because they went back to kissing.
To make a long story short, my friends and I had to leave the park because the activity on the picnic table continued to escalate.
Lucky for us, a security guard pulled into the parking lot just as we were pulling out. One of the other moms flagged him down and told him what was going on. Of course we all hung around until the man came back.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, shaking his head. "There is a couple at the picnic table, but they are just playing cards."
One of the other moms opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
Another mom screamed.
I'm looking into the idea of purchasing a primitive cabin in the middle of Wyoming. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of living there with my kids when they are between the ages of 12 and 18.
I have been thinking the same thing, only just a few hours in another direction since Alaska is scarcely populated, since my son's friends decided to have a "naked" show the other day...
ReplyDeleteGo for between 12 and 35, just to be safe.
ReplyDeleteMy 5 year old told me today that she has been invited to a girl in her kindergarten's class birthday party and that she is suppose to bring a boy because it will be a dance party and they will be having slow dances. WHAT?!? She shouldn't even know what slow dancing is at this age....kids seem to be getting older at much younger ages. Next time call the cops and take some pictures with your phone for proof.
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh out loud, because oddly enough, the code phrase my husband and I have for being intimate is "playing cards."
ReplyDeleteI'm doing a lot of head shaking lately.
ReplyDeleteLike now.
Are kids getting worse or am I getting older??!!
:-)
seriously why are playgrounds an ideal place to make out? Really?
ReplyDeleteAt least they weren't in the tunnel going much further, like a special park day we had last year. I felt old--and nauseous.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have some grownup kids and I'd like to see them do a little MORE making out! I don't know what's wrong with these kids...they don't know how to flirt, they don't pair off, all they want to do is hang out. My son is 24 and although he speaks of getting married, that's all it is. I want him to put his money where his mouth is and start doing a little making out! Then some proposing, a little wedding, and then some grandbabies. Is that too much to ask for crying out loud?
ReplyDeleteSandy
www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com
As a former high school teacher- here is how you repel teenagers...
ReplyDelete1. embarrass them. (ex: go up to them and start yelling loudly "AWWWW YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE AND IN LOVE. HOW SWEET!! etc.)
2. Act super cheesy around them. I would say move the Mom club to sit right next to them and start talking about potty training/talk about how cute your kids are acting. etc.
HA!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog and love it!!! Can I be the meanest mom after you :)?
I love your writing and your humor, and I thank you for making me feel less guilty for just being a mom (which consists, sometimes, in completely losing it, right?)
You're welcome to visit me:
pregnancyjoyandotherthings.blogspot.com
Have a great day!
Two words: Super Soaker. Carry one in your van for such cases.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if taking pictures of them would have gotten them to stop.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman...that would have made me want to smack them! LOL
ReplyDelete...the park at 3pm... you seriously don't understand why this happened? High school PDA is monitored intensely. 3pm is when shcool gets out. The park is the only place where a kid that age can feel unshaperroned by an authority figure with any power over them. Parks were a common place for a couple to meet up when I was in middle school/highschool.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd tell them, "Let's see if you roll your eyes for the police."
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. We live across the street from a park. We have often have teen hookup make out sessions that we have to ignore as we're walking home from school :( I haven't figured a good way to handle it other than not going to the park...but I think I got some good ideas now from your readers ;)
ReplyDeleteThis happened recently at a park I was visiting and one mom asked them to go somewhere else and the guy said "Mind your own effing business." She said "This is a children's playground, not a hotel room. Have some respect for yourself young lady." and they left. I was so relieved she was brave enough! When I lived in UT my Bishop was the principal of the local high school and whenever I saw kids at the park making out during school hours, I would text him and he'd come get them busted. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I have 3 boys....one of them is almost a teen. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteSadly it happens much younger than 15yo. Start worrying about your girls and boys at age 13yo at least. Depending on the kids, sometimes younger. It's scarey how dumb and obnoxious kids are now a days. Watch the family bathrooms at malls too! Even the ones right off of the play area!
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, I was a teenager making out with my boyfriend in a park. I am now horrified that one day that might be my daughter. Moving off-grid seems like a viable option.
ReplyDeleteHeh - my four year old is a great deterrent for these embarrassing displays - she will point her finger and then yell loudly enough to alert everyone in a three-mile radius, "EWW! He's falling in love with her!!"
ReplyDeleteI actually have just the cabin! Nothin but cows and grass for miles to keep you company. You're welcome to join us anytime... = )
ReplyDeleteWe had an incident where a couple of teens were in the slide, and, well, I guess they were still dressed so a pregnancy was unlikely. I asked them for their parents' phone numbers so I could make sure they had permission. They refused that, so I told them that my other option was to call the police. They vacated the area.
ReplyDeleteShoot - I pull out the "momma don't take no crap I don't care who you are" when I see teens acting that way. I sure as heck would hope some mom would pull the same on my kids if they were behaving in such a manner - hopefully the thought of their momma bear finding out instills enough fear that they would never - but hey, I'm not completely stupid!
ReplyDeleteCourse- calling the police is always nice too - that way you can snap pics and suggest that the parents be informed...
What a world we live in.....
The Richardson's has it down! If my husband was there with me, we would have gone over and started making out next to them.
ReplyDeleteEven though we're the parents that say "Sure, you can dye your hair black with hot pink highlights!" we are also the parents that say "No, you can't date that boy because you are 14 and he's 17."
ReplyDeleteWe live in a small-ish town and a lot of the other parents let their 14 and 15 year old girls wander all over town. Ours aren't allowed off our block. I do not understand some parents.
Oh Yes Richardson's = awesome idea. I remember making out at the park, BUT it was empty. Kids watching? ewwwwww
ReplyDeleteHoly cow! Even as a teenager I would not have done that! Horizontal in the middle of a park with kids! Yea, just wrong.
ReplyDeleteTrue grit is making a decision and standing by it,doing what must be done.
ReplyDelete________________________________
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Funny, when I read the headline of this blog post, I thought it would be about a Personal Digital Assistant/Smartphone... annoying texting maybe.
ReplyDeleteObviously you choose the wrong tact with the teenagers, what you should have done was each sat around the picnic table and randomly asked for pointers or offered advice.
ReplyDeleteThat I would have liked to see.
Try this. Where logic ceases, this succeeded for me. Walk by the couple, pause, and laugh out loud. Sparked an embarrassment reaction when I tried it, and they moved on.
ReplyDeleteRemember how it felt to be 15? The park, I'm sure, seemed like a totally appropriate place to "play cards"!!
ReplyDeleteSo, I was skimming this post, and for some reason, I took your picking the "shortest stick" literally. The rest of the post, i pictured you poking the couple with a stick while you talked to them!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking -- a loud "I think I know your mom" And a phone with a camera--- would have had them running :-)
ReplyDelete