The Nun's Rash

Yesterday afternoon, I took a break from visiting Cameron in the NICU and went to see the folks at the Dermatology clinic at Penn. My appointment was at 2pm, which, in hospital time, meant 4:15pm.

Knowing that I had some time to kill in the waiting room made my decision of where to sit very easy. Specifically, I bypassed the long row of empty chairs near the television set and magazine rack and parked myself instead in a chair located directly behind four nuns with New Jersey accents. All of the women were in their late sixties at least, and were dressed in matching black clerical garb. Sitting next to one another, the women were virtually indistinguishable, except that one of them had a rash between her legs which she kept itching.

When I approached, the three unafflicted nuns were trying to talk their sister into donating her body to science.
"Let the doctors take a picture of your rash for their 'book,'" said nun #1.
"They could block out your face in the picture if you asked," added nun #2.
"No," said the afflicted.
"You could help other people," nun #2 pointed out.
Nun #3 didn't say anything, but she nodded in agreement.
"I said 'No!'" shouted the afflicted.

Having myself answered the call to pose nude for the clinic's famed "Book of Rashes," (http://themeanestmom.blogspot.com/2008/04/paper-underpants.html) I wanted to offer my moral support to the nun and tell her that both the pictures and the process of taking them really weren't that bad. I kept quiet however, on account that it is unwise to lie, especially to a woman with a four-inch cross draped around her neck.

Finally the nun gave in. After signing a waiver, she was led down a long, dark hallway by a medical student with a pitchfork dangling from her back pocket. Since no one else stood up to the plate, I took it upon myself to give the poor nun her last rites.

After sending their sister off to what would surely constitute the most traumatic 10 minutes of her life, the three unafflicted nuns made themselves feel better by counting their blessings.

"I feel very fortunate that I didn't get that rash," said nun #1.
"I wouldn't want someone taking pictures of a rash between my legs," admitted nun #2.
"Me neither," said nun #2.
"I have a rash between my legs," confessed nun #3. "I've had it since May."

Before I could contract the mysterious rash, I switched seats.

P.S. Cameron is doing great. His red blood cell count has remained stable all week. Although we were hoping for some improvement, we're grateful that the numbers didn't go down. Cameron is eating about half of his feeds by mouth now and he was weaned off the nasal cannula this morning. So far, so good.

Have a great weekend. It's absolutely beautiful in Philadelphia; I hope the weather is gorgeous wherever you're at.