November 11, 2008

The Air Hockey Table

The other day, Cortlen came home from his friend's house with two questions for me:
1. Who is Indiana Jones?
2. Where could a boy like himself get a leather whip?

Evidently, my son's friend had an Indiana Jones video game and in it the action hero did lots of whipping. Because I wasn't sure what other weapons Indiana had at his disposal, I thought that it might be a good idea to steer the next play date toward our house.

"Why don't we have Danny come over here?" I suggested.
"There's nothing to do at our house," whined the boy with no toys, "Except play Twister."

I didn't like the tone used to describe the timeless party game, but I let it go.

While it is impossible to compete with a Harrison Ford avatar, the delicious treat that I wrangled away from the thrift store yesterday afternoon--a "vintage" air hockey table--comes pretty darn close.




The price tag on the fake wood-paneled beauty read $30. The store employee who was taking his cigarette break on top of the table told me that that he had just unloaded it from some one's van ten minutes earlier. I was pretty sure the van to which he was referring was still in the parking lot; there were orange curtains on all of its windows.

Making sure not to make physical contact with the table or the body draped across it, I used the preexisting condition clause to bargain the man down to $25. To prevent someone from snatching my prize away from me before I could pay for it, I asked the man to use his walkie talkie to provide a physical description of me to the cashier and inform her that I was on my way up.

It took the better part of the afternoon to 1) Haul the table home 2) Scrub away the memory of the orange curtains 3) Draw straws to determine who would play in the opening match 3) Put the sore loser in time-out 4) Put one of the two winners in time-out for taunting the sore loser.

Once an acceptable rotation had been established, I went upstairs to feed the baby. When I returned, the air hockey table was alone in the corner, crying.

"Why aren't you playing with it?" I asked my three sports enthusiasts. No one answered. They were too busy contorting their bodies on a plastic tarp covered with colored dots.








P.S. I'm not suggesting that you do this, but I got a whole lot more than I bargained for when I searched "twister and image" on Yahoo. Evidently, some people like to play Twister naked. In case you are wondering, I am not one of them.

16 comments

MommaKiss said...

I've searched twister before - it's quite - um - entertaining to see the results.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

There is nothing more aggravating as a mom than buying the "greatest" thing ever and then having it lose its gusto after 1 day of play. And I too have made several google images snafoos... people are freaks!

Mrs. Morty said...

I'm always a little leery when googling images for my blog and kids homework. I even got something crazy when I googled cereal. I bet you thought something like that was pretty safe didn't you?

Rachel said...

I've even seen Twister bed sheets. Intersting idea...
Yes, google searches can be dangerous! A coworker was researching energy efficient furnaces, and got porn. I guess that's one way to keep warm!

Club Narwhal said...

i'm so glad twister is coming in handy!

Mrs. B said...

I had found a great air hockey table at a garage sale. Guess where it resides? Yep. In our garage. Alone.

Kristina said...

I googled cowboy images for a project once. I saw WAY too many half naked gay cowboys than I'd ever thought possible...

Fit Bottomed Girls said...

Naked Twister? Wrong on too many levels.

ru4real said...

The only reason your kids were playing Twister by the time you returned was because you did not bring the air hokey table home in a box. If you had ... they would have been playing with the box ... it's the rite of passage!

Kamity said...

Man, Jana, I totally thought you were the kind of person who would A) play Twister naked and B) take pictures of it and post it on the Internet.

@___@

Blog Buddy said...

What a great mom you are :)When I lived in Alaska, I asked my mom for twister and got a checker board instead! My kids get to play twister all day every day-which is hardly...ever! (I think it's fun!)

janaemadsen said...

I challenge you to an air hockey tournament. At your house. oh- I will for sure lose. I hope that's OK.

Ilana said...

"When I returned, the air hockey table was alone in the corner, crying."

LOL!

CC said...

I found your site from another site and BATW. I must tell you, I have laughed so hard I have tears. You could become a comedy writer.. Thank you for sharing your wonderful sense of humor and I hope you don't mind if I come back for another visit..

Andrea said...

Haven't any of you heard of strict safesearch? :0) Google takes out almost every "dirty" picture from the search engine so you can search without angst. My 6 year old is always peering over my shoulder to spy what I am so interested in seeing!

Click on the search preferences right under the search typing field on the google page and chose strict safesearch. Saved my behind many a time. Some images still creep in somehow but we are without incident for several months and I use google all the time.

Poor lonely hockey table. When the kids have friends over, all the sudden the table will be the spotlight of the party.

bedspreads said...

Twister bed sheets is different in nature so that everyone want it.