November 14, 2008

Christmas List: Draft 1


Cortlen's Christmas List
November 14, 2008

1. Real Light Saber-one that makes appropriate noises and can cut off people's heads
2. Tiger Shark-size L
3. Smencil-a pencil that smells like a root beer float
4. King Cobra-If the local animal shelter is sold out of these, a Green Mamba would be an acceptable substitute.
5. Indoor basketball court constructed in our basement or, better yet, built as an addition onto the side of our house.

Santa likes all of these suggestions but is leaning away from the Smencil. A pencil that smells like a dessert? That's impractical...not to mention just plain weird!


So, what's the very best thing that's on your kids' Christmas lists this year? I'm sure you've got some excellent ones...I'm anxious to hear!

P.S. I have to eat my words. I went to the Book Fair tonight and found the mysterious Beast Quest books that my daughter listed on her wish list. I was expecting to find a series that chronicles the collective plight of mothers of five year-old girls (we love them, but as a general category, they are awfully feisty). What I found instead was a collection of stories about regular old beasts such as giant squid and fire dragons. The title of the series is sooooo misleading. I'm thinking about writing the publisher.

27 comments

Lisa said...

Abby asked Santa for a swiss army knife last year.....He laughed so hard he almost fell off his seat. Needless to say it is on her list again (and I am sure it will be next year too since Santa is NOT getting it for her).

The Mommy said...

Uh, we already have a Smencil (chocolate flavored - smells like, well, not chocolate but something brown), so I can cross that off. Whew!

Carrie said...

The question isn't "what is on the Christmas list". It is "what's NOT on the Christmas list"!

Amy said...

This post will finally make me come out of "hiding"/lurking. First things first, LOVE your blog!!! It's my daily dose of laughter. Reminds me of my own hectic household. I'm totally sorry for the shameless plug, but I mean it out of sincere recommendation and not just self-promotion, honest! Take a peek at the soft light sabers on http://allboyhouse.etsy.com Your boys will LOVE them, and they are safe, friendly, and best of all CHEAP. :)

Jennifer and Jason said...

My baby is only two months old but I know he is dying to get one of those Bumbo's for Christmas.

kori bates said...

My 9 year old has been asking for 2 years now for a flat screen T.V. and a cell phone!!! She was telling EVERYONE that is what she wanted...Ummmm NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!

Mom to the King and Captain said...

I came across your blog recently and love it! :)

My son (3 years old) says all he wants are two presents: a cookie and a play kitchen. :)

Donna

Likes Chocolate said...

My oldest is asking for a cell phone. He is only 9, not going to happen. He also wants a dog, but that also is not going to happen. We settled for the DS which is always good for long car rides. The middle one was pretty reasonable actually, and thank goodness the littlest want can't talk, so I can get him whatever I like. At least for one more year.

Nancy B said...

My girls want a Wii like I want my pre-baby boobs back. I have convinced them that the probability of both scenarios is, at best, slim. They remind me daily about my unreasonableness. Little do they know, we procured one cheap. However, as for other Christmas miracles, I don't think I will wake up to perky breasts on Christmas morn. So disappointing.

Mrs. B said...

mmmm...my older [teen] boys said "money". So original. Guess they can't trust mom's judgement on clothes and 'stuff' anymore.
And the two toddlers, they haven't said anything yet. But I'm sure it will be imaginative. Probably about as imaginative as what they wanted for the [recent] birthday cakes. One wanted a chocolate circle with pink flowers, and the other wanted a "BLUE SQUARE" cake. Period. No characters, just colored shapes. I had found that rather funny.

Nikki said...

Well - my 7 year-old daughter wants a Barbie computer; my 5 year old wants 'Gordon' - the one that 'turns off and on' (um - he already got that for his birthday so am I off the hook?) and my 3 year old wants 'die High' a.k.a. Sky High the movie, which we also already own! Ahh, Christmas is going to be so easy this year!!!

Now my husband - well- that's a different story: a 54' flat screen, an iPod, and a boob job for his wife :)
(my thoughts are with nancy b on that one)

fairyflutters said...

I am at a complete loss as to what my 2 & 4 year old girls want for xmas but lmao at your kid's list and specifically the smelly pencil.

I remember as a kid when teachers had those scented markers and they'd grade your papers w/ them (like early elem. school). Yum!

Jan Russell said...

My six year old wants boxing gloves and a punching bag - I wonder if he'd stop pummeling his little brother if I got them for him?

Rachel said...

Ceara wants a guitar, as if the dulcet tones of a 5th grader new to the flute isn't enough to make me break out the Excedrin.

I am hoping Mr. Farty wants an overnight stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house so his mother can sleep past 6am for the 1st time since he arrived. I think he'll probably just eat wrapping paper though.

Cuddles, Kisses & Tantrums said...

My 5 year old son is begging for an easy bake oven so he can "cook mac and cheese for breakfast." I tried to tell him that wouldn't work but he won't hear of it. I am thinking that a case of easy mac and his very own cooking lesson with mom and the microwave would be a better idea.

3 for school said...

My kids are totally all over the idea of their own i-Phones. My answer? What good is the i-Phone without service? Which led to an economics lesson.

Kristal said...

I thought I knew what my kids wanted until I asked and found out I didn't.
My dd has crossed over to the Polly Pocket side of the aisle and a million other things I wasn't even aware were available to children.
My ds wants a REAL dumptruck and he wants it in green and he wants sand.
My kids change there minds so many times in the last two months to Christmas, I give them a last chance offer to tell me what they want the day after Thanksgiving and lock in the answers.

Kristi said...

Our 5-year-old daughter has been asking for a painting puter (computer) for the past 2 years, Christmas AND birthdays included.

It's like $70, and I just couldn't see spending that much on something that I wasn't sure would work very well in the first place. I finally convinced my husband that we should just get it for her this Christmas. After all, the poor thing has been asking for it for 2 years.

So I jump online, and start pulling up images of different toys. I pull up the "painting computer" and show it to Kadence. "No not that Mommy...that's not what I want."

Turns out she's been wanting a color magna-doodle. It's like $20. Thank God I cleared that up before I went out and bought the $70 toy I thought she was talking about!

Fosters said...

okay, seriously, my 8 year old wants "some good sturdy 2x4's to make stuff with. So far, that is the craziest my kiddos have gotten.
Sorry about changing the subject, but I have a simple question. How far along were you when you got 5th disease with your pregnancy? I'm 15 weeks and my daughter just got it. I read your blog better than I read my scriptures, so I have been following you on this since you posted. Just wondering. I havent called my doc. yet. Still have a little faith . . .

Jana said...

OOOOH! Swiss army knife! Play kitchens! Pre-baby boobs! Decisions, decisions! Love it!

karmental said...

My boys (8&10) want a skateboard half-pipe for Christmas. They've even generously offered to sell the stuff they don't play with anymore to help fund the deconstruction on a few walls to get an addition put on the house for it. This all seemed like it might work great until I asked them about the ceiling and what they're going to do about banging their heads every time they hit the top of the ramp. I'm sure they'll be looking for a warehouse or some land that Santa can give them for the skateboard park they are going to be asking him for. Clearly money has nothing to do with Christmas.

Liz said...

My daughter's list is really quite practical, she's never over the top or asks for anything that wouldn't easily be shoved down the chimney!
Why she's only asked for an in-ground pool and a horse for the past 3-4 years now. :)

Sants said...

My son LOVES the Beast Quest series. For Christmas one year he asked to get the Scholastic monthly order series. They sent cool dragons that we glued together and hung from his ceiling, but they kept sending the same four books over and over and OVER.

My five year old wants an iPod. My 15 year old wants a cell phone. I give them both the same odds. First Sunday after NEVER.

(We do have a kids' cell phone for use when we, the beastly parents deem it necessary or convenient to us.)

Mackenzie said...

I'm pretty sure I heard my 11 month old son ask for a new lens for mommy's camera for Christmas...which is just as well, he has better bargaining power with daddy than I do.

Holly said...

My 4-yr-old asked for the movies Spiderman 4 and Spiderman 5. He's pretty insistent Santa can come up with the items, regardless of our repeated efforts to inform him that the movies don't exist AT ALL. What a stubborn one he is.

Twinlinebackers said...

"Dad, remember this summer when we were looking at the scooters and we sat on the ATVs? That's what I want for Christmas".

Son, an ATV is awfully expensive.

4 yr old: "Just work until you earn enough money"

That coupled with 5 minutes at Target picking out what his stuffed Mickey Mouse wanted for Christmas before we were able to drag him out of the toy aisle.

Brittany Crane said...

I just became a mom and can only imagine the wish lists that await me. The only problem is that grandma will probably buy everything that's on them. I'm sure my kids will learn that "NO" means ask grandma.