1. One of my daughter's friends gave her a Target gift card for her birthday. I used it to buy diapers.
2. The number of times that I make my kids sleep in the clothes that they are going to wear to school the next day is steadily increasing.
3. On pupil-free days, I eat ice cream for breakfast in front of my kids. They don't understand why it's necessary for everyone's well-being.
4. I make the child who I like the least at the end of each day scoop out the cat litter.
5. Sometimes it's easier to throw toys away rather than put them away.
6. Clothing items with which my children develop unhealthy obsessions always mysteriously disappear.
7. I've learned that cutting out the knots in the back of my daughter's hair is far less painful (for me) than attempting to comb them out.
8. We're still working our way through a bottle of fluoride tablets that I purchased 2 years ago.
9. I encourage my children to sleep on the top of their bed covers so they don't have to make their beds in the morning.
10. I sleep on top of mine for the same reason.
***
You know what's coming. Now it's YOUR turn!
February 12, 2009
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72 comments
this makes sense... haha
Hilarious!
Mine: For two Monday's in a row, I kept DS home from school "sick" because I was too tired to get up and take him (plus, I didn't want to volunteer at the school that day, either).
I had Valentine's Day cards pre-printed with my children's names on them so I wouldn't have to worry with the hassel of getting them to fill them out right.
I've let my kids wear the same socks a couple of days in a row because I didn't feel like digging through the clean clothes pile.
Make up beds????????
Robin@http://alabamaslackermama.blogspot.com/
Can I shout "Amen!" to number 5! My mantra is, "If I have to pick this toy up off the floor again, it's going to Goodwill!" (Or the trash if it isn't worthy of recycling.)
Oh, and one of my daughters doesn't even have sheets on her bed... just a quilt nice and neat that she sleeps on, and a blanket to cover her up. She always has the best looking bed in our house ;-)
And when I think I'm being clever and send the kids to bed in clothes for the next day, it backfires, and they pee everywhere, ruining my fabulous plan ahead spirit.
I always have the breakfasts too on the mornings I have all three kids. I lay the baby down for his nap and send the other two up to watch Sesame Street and enjoy a few minutes of peace.
If I don't have to leave the house on any given day, I don't get the kids out of their pajamas at all, all day. I say it is too save on laundry, but I know the truth.
And if I can get away with my husband not seeing them, I put them back to bed in the same pajamas. But he usually makes me at least put clean pajamas on them before bed.
I still haven't let my kids open all of their toys from Christmas. My family went completely overboard and I didn't want to pick up little pieces all of the time, so I stashed them in the kids' closets and it is just eating at them when they open their closet doors.
This was great therapy! Thanks!
I throw away toys, often. Esp those little POS from the happy meals.
Sleeping on top of the covers, would never work for me. I get way too cold. And who needs a bed made? It's just going to get messed up again.
you're fantastic!
i... maybe... put my kids down in tomorrow's clothes... then sometimes let them sleep in them a second night. maybe... ;-)
I also throw away toys. My children only have a fitted sheet and a duvet cover because it is too much and they could never make the bed right. My children only brush their teeth once a day because there just isn't enough time in the morning. I sometimes am too tired to change out of my gym clothes and sleep in them and sometimes I actually make it into my PJ. We eat fast food at least once a week. I filled out one of my childs Valentines Cards. Some days I never get dressed. I given my son a buzz cut because I don't want to deal with bed head in the morning even though he cried because he wanted longer hair. Amen to all the things we do as Mothers to help us cope.
You crack me up!
I sometimes eat the last cookies, piece of cake, or pie etc, and feel no guilt.
I eat junk food after the youngest goes to bed, after I tell him no.
I fuss at my kids to make their beds, and close my door if I don't get to mine.
I sit in front of my computer much more than my teens do.
I've been known to take, ahem borrow a Target gift card from my kids.
When they were little, I always threw away junk md's toys when they were at school or gone.
I like this one! =)
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who "borrows" gift cards that my kids receive.
I'm guilty of letting my children watch WAY too much TV. I know it's getting bad when I walk by the living room and my daughter can quote the show word for word. I keep telling myself it's because she has a great memory.
We have fast food several times a week (not always for dinner).
I can't recall the last time I washed sheets. Yikes!
I'm off to throw them in the wash now...
I have a "no toys allowed outside your room" rule. Contained messes are much easier to clean.
I have a "no shirts when eating spaghetti" rule because I never got on board with that whole pretreat your stains movement.
I hide all the holiday candy my son gets in an attempt to ration it out. Last weekend I threw away v-day/easter/halloween/stocking candy from 2008. (hey at least I didn't eat it!)
I eat the doritos/funyons after my son goes to bed so I don't have to share.
I also let my daughter sleep on top of the covers, throw away annoying toys, make certain clothes disappear and I just this morning let my daughter have a PBJ for breakfast.
Oh I love all of you women!! YOu make me feel good as a mom! I thought I was the only one who did these sorts of things. I bribe my children not to let on to the Grandparents how mommy runs the house. They would never understand... and my kids think this is how everyone is. And it seems that maybe it is... but we never tell;)
#2 works like a charm on Saturday nights too! Sunday morning, they roll out of bed, eat a granola bar (because it won't drip on their clothes), toss on shoes, and we can walk out the door to church!
I made my oldest wear the same size underwear and socks as her younger twin sisters for years so I didn't have to sort the underwear and fold the socks. Now that she has hips, it doesn't work so well, darn it.
I think that oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are a healthy breakfast. What? Didn't you read the OATMEAL part? Geesh.
When I was younger I would sleep in my clothes for the next day AND sleep on top of my covers. I had leg aches often and my mom told me that they ache because I was sleeping over my covers because it drove her nuts. Her diagnosis worked and I had to start making my bed. It's still a running joke with my mom! Everything is because I sleep over my covers!! It probably causes cancer, too! ;)
I've let my kindergarten-aged daughter eat Yogo roll-ups for breakfast and a bowl of cereal for dinner.
I try to talk her into hot lunch so I don't have to pack her anything.
I have President's Day off work and she has it off school, but I'm taking her to childcare just so I can zone for 8 hours.
Toys sometimes "disappear" but due to her unnatural memory, some have had to be "found" again via ebay, dangit.
I let her watch waaaaay too much TV.
Making beds? HA! Only if Grandma is coming to visit.
A lot of times she goes to school with her hair unbrushed, as she has an aversion to hair brushes, I am usually running late, and/or her hood or winter hat will just screw it up anyway.
As she can't tell time yet, I tell it's bedtime sometimes a little early just to have some "me time". I'm enjoying that while it lasts.
Seriously I could sit here and name all mine, but between you and all the comments left all I can say is DITTO! :)
Only the 'MM(Meanest Mom)Club' can pull off such mastered skills as this!
I get rid of toys after my kids are asleep.
They probably watch too much tv but I figure it's educational so it can't be all bad.
When I'm too tired to make breakfast I give them each a cup of cereal while I doze on the couch and then let the dog in later to clean up what didn't make it into their mouths.
I'm pretty proud of myself when I make dinner....healthy or not.
I let my girls jump in the crib because it's worth the cost of replacing it, if necessary, for the peace it gives me.
I start my day with Mountain Dew.
I'm pretty sure that I'm okay with all of this or I wouldn't be sharing! ;o)
I once used a target gift card that was intended as a wedding gift (for my brother no less) and bought coats for the kids.
My son, in a true show of genetic inheritance, will wear a shirt to bed that he will wear to school tomorrow - I don't even have to prod him.
My youngest girl likes to wear jammies all day and changes several times so I keep all her jammies and underpants in one drawer, and she just changes into what she wants whenever - I only wash them if they start to really smell.
I have been known to eat cereal in a bowl, then refill it for one child, then refill it for another child - less dishes, right?
I've eaten the candy out of birthday goodie bags while they are at school.
I make them get rid of Halloween candy except for a big handful. I tell them, we're throwing it away because they don't need it...I do.
Do you see a theme...I have a sweet tooth :-)
Oh, and I've been known to recreate certain events to get a good picture. :-p
If the kids are being threatened to have a toy thrown away for not cleaning up or not listening, I always pick the toy I find most annoying or ridiculous to be thrown away first.
I have the if it ain't broke don't fix it rule...
-my kids have fitted sheets on there bed with a blanket
-Tv is always on, only noggin or disney though
-I do not wash clothes unless they are dirty
-I do not do dishes unless it is a full load
-I do my daughters hair every day, only wash once a week (it is to her butt!)
-My kids must take off clothes to eat anything that could be messy
-I do simple things for breakfast
- I put my kids in the same room and made a playroom so I can shut the door when I do not want to clean the mess
I am sure there are other things that I do. I often toss out or give away toys, I have been known to even toss out my daughters fave outfits I am tired of seeing.
Hahaha! I love it. I praise my kids up and down for the lovely pictures the draw for me and then throw them away when they're not looking. Otherwise I'd have fifty bajillion crayon drawings of a dog.
My son is so trained to Mommy throwing the toys away that when I get out a trash bag he runs to clean! I have also been known to leave him in the bathtub so long that I don't think the "prunies" will ever go away.......just to get a moment to myself! He's 4 so he can handle a few extra minutes of splash time!
OMG! I was just thinking today that my kids have dentist appts next month and I should start having them take the floride so I don't have to lie to the dentist instead of feeling like a crappy mom for not giving it to them. Seriously, that stuff is just too much trouble.
*I feel guilty for leaving my son at daycare while I work but when I get a day off and daycare is open, I take him anyway to keep him in his "routine" (like we have one of THOSE!)
*I feed him breakfast and some dinners in front of the TV so he'll eat better. I'm purposefully encouraging mindless eating!!!
*We only make beds when people come over or when we go on vacation.
I eat the kids' candy from parades, halloween, valentine's day, maybe occasionally allowing them to have one of those nasty lemon-flavored tootsie things.
My children have been known to wear the same pair of socks for three days straight. And when I say "pair," I mean "two," not necessarily that they actually match.
I took money from my son's birthday stash and put it under his pillow one night when the tooth fairy forgot to stop by the ATM on the way home.
My son has a cherished belief that I am saving all his schoolwork in some elaborate, top secret Mommy Vault. I am. It's called the trash can.
Oh fun!!!
My kids learned their numbers from the remote control.
My daughter didn't know what a fresh pear was the first time she saw one in a fruit basket.
My son's finger was broken for two weeks before I took him to the doctor. He needed surgery.
Once I bonked my son on the head with a wrapping paper roll for saing "ain't."
I make my kids' friends carry in groceries.
I hide chocolate from my children. Also Pepperidge Farm cookies.
I don't turn my kids' laundry right side out before folding.
I often tell my kids "R.H.I.P" Rank has its privileges - when they tell me its unfair that I get something they don't - like texting.
On Monday nights, I sit down to watch The Closer and tell my family "I expect complete silence. Mama's show is on."
These confessions are hilarious!
Here's one of mine: I totally use candy and treats to bribe my child to behave and do things I want him to do. Hey, it works!
I once let my toddler eat pb&j sandwiches for all three meals for 2 days in a row because that's what she wanted.
also, guilty of naked spaghetti eating . the kid, not me. obviously.
ps, this is Shannon M's sister. your blog is great!
I just did a post like this.
I send my in-laws' Christmas gifts about three weeks after Christmas.
I secretly throw away all my boys' junky happy meal toys while I am cleaning their room.
I make my youngest chicken nuggets for lunch almost every day.
I have a stash of Girl Scout Samoas cookies in my bedroom from last year.
I am wishing our one and only goldfish in our big fish tank would die so I can get rid of all of it.
I got my two big plastic tubs of Barbies out of storage and let my two youngest sons play with them even though boys aren't suppose to play with dolls. They begged me to do it and they loved every single minute playing with them.
I baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies and substituted beans for the butter. How gross is that? And my boys came back for seconds even though they knew there were beans in them.
Oatmeal with vanilla ice cream for breakfast is yummy.
I also use their gift cards for family things. Like they need more toys.
I am guilty of many of those as well. =)
i sniff my daughters feet and armpits before deciding if a bath is really needed or if we go the european route.
I donated the couch to goodwill while the kids were at scouts so I wouldn't have to listen to them fight over the halfway point any more.
I let my youngest eat leftover dinner for breakfast (baked potato, ribs, or Taco Bell - you get the point) because she hates cereal.
I love any kind of chocolate but only bring the extra dark in the house because I know the kids won't touch it.
I forbid my children to speak to me before I've had my coffee.
and...
Most recently, I've made my 4th and 2nd grade children each start doing their own load of laundry every week because I'm sick of hearing them bicker over whose underwear is whose.
...okay, *and*...
I've put their hair up in buns for school before just because I didn't (want to) take the time to get the knots out.
I've given away their Christmas candy when surprise trick-or-treaters showed up the following Halloween!
I often lose track of time and end up letting them go too many days in a row with just a 'bird bath' instead of shower... especially in the summer. :(
I am sitting here reading your blog while forcing my 11 year old to make dinner. And I'm making her let her 2 year old brother help.
I have two gift cards I'm planning to borrow in the very near future for a little pick-me-up. And you can be sure it won't be anything plastic with tires.
I couldn't stand the thought of fighting with my second-grade son to get him to sign his Sponge-Bob Valentine's so I forged his name. I used my left hand so the signature would look as sloppy as it does when he writes it himself.
This is cleansing!
I raided my kids' piggy banks to fund a birthday party. Also used a gift card for my husband to buy him a "present" from me. We love to have cereal and/or popcorn for supper when daddy isn't home. On the weekends I let the boys sleep in their clothes, then wear the same clothes all day long. I hate to excersize. I don't. My exersize is running after my kids all day, and climbing the stairs to do laundry.
Whew. I feel much better now, thanks!
This post is hilarious! I can also relate to sooo many of them!
I've nominated you for an award...thank you for all the laughs...
http://3kidsin2yrs.blogspot.com/2009/02/shiver-me-timbers-more-awards.html
my kids spend days off from school in their pj's, only to take a bath and put clean ones on before bed. i let them eat dinner in front of the tv at least once a week so my husband and i can have a real conversation over our left-overs at the kitchen counter. my son has figured out how to work the dvd player and will spend hours watching and changing the movies, and i let him b/c he's happy and occupied. i eat chocolate frosting out of the container when i'm stressed....sometimes accompanied by a squirt of rediwhip..... i only do laundry when the baskets are overflowing onto the floor and i don't iron. i had sugar cookies for breakfast before getting online today. i've put my kids to bed before 7:00 more times than i care to admit just b/c i needed a break. i don't think these things (or anything any other moms listed) are "wrong" they are simply called "coping" :)
Thank you for this list. Now I know that I'm not alone. :-)
whew! so glad I'm not the only one!
we eat pretty much EVERY meal in front of the tv because we don't have a dining room, dining room table in the living room or kitchen because the house is the size of a matchbox. so we eat with elmo or wiggles every day. :)
After reading all those comments, I'm feeling REALLY good about myself right now. :)
I've never bought my kids a happy meal and if we ever go out for fast food I order one thing & make my kids share.
I constantly get rid of my kids stuff. I just sold my daughter's bed last night. Everything we own is second- hand anyway.
I constantly use the $5 we get from grandmother on things we NEED, not toys or candy like the kids want.
We don't have TV and my kids have to EARN a movie from the library. But sometimes they sit & watch it half-way through then start it over 3 or 4 times trying to trick me into believing they 'haven't watched it all yet'. Sometimes I pretend I'm tricked.
I've gone over to parents house when we didn't have anything to eat for dinner.
We have eaten popcorn for dinner. We've had cocoa for dinner too.
Did'nt raelly work, the kids were still hungry. Darn.
Buying cupcakes from store bakery for the class party, bringing them home and taking my knife to "spread" the once-neatly-piped frosting over the top. Looks homemade to me!!! LOL :)
I love your Blog! But for the sake of my curiosity, I would be interested to know the birth order of the Mom's who left comments. I am the first born child of a first born mom. My kids had to have a bath nightly.I did not know you could feed your children breakfast cereal for dinner. Beds had to be made daily and all toys had to be put away correctly ex: all fisher price school people had to be with the school house and the letters were in the tray. I have however thrown away happy meal toys. Or maybe I am just an "old mom" since my kids are 18 - 27 years old now. Anyway, I love reading
Ok - I too am guilty of "borrowing. I borrow birthday money, with the intent on putting it back. Since they both always have more available cash at any given time than I do (sense I pay for all of their expenses and miscellaneous items, etc.) I sometimes forget to replace it. I've only done it about it about four times, but stopped feeling guilty the second time. I also sometimes let the air out of the balloons that they will play (annoy) me with. I've used Febreeze on occasions that I have not quite finished all of the laundry. As for beds... I don't argue; If they can find it - they can sleep in it. The boy has been known (only by me) to wear his sister's things but I won't tell them if you don't.
Oh, goodness! I do the same things!!! I feel so good...I am definitely not the meanest mom in the whole wide world now. I actually have competition! I will definitely blog myself "Guilty as Charged" this week. Thanks so much for the great laugh and relief to know that I am not alone!
Sometimes my kids eat cake for breakfast because it is still on the counter from dessert last night (Remember Bill Cosby's Dad is Great, He gives us chocolate cake).
I say I'll be there in a minute and hope they forget whatever it was they wanted/needed because I am preoccupied with something (usually the computer or a good book).
I gave my 6 year old an alarm clock for Christmas so she can get herself out of bed because it is sometimes too hard for me. Hey, it is Feb and it is still being used!
Thanks Jana!
Hysterical- I am guilty of most of those too, however, I can't stand the beds not being made, the toys on the floor, the laundry not folded and put away( although it usually isn't). I ALWAYS am giving away toys- so much so that the last time I thought I'd do it I didn't really have many to get rid of. I have 5 kids the oldest is 10 so we really should have toys- when kids come over to play they are always asking where they toys are- ha ha ha. But the worst for me is that I am waiting for our cat to die- I am so tired of her- i've kicked her out to the back yard- she's turned my garden into a little box- all the neighborhood cats use it and eat her food. I've hinted at giving her to a no-kill shelter, but my family would probably hate me- my husband would have reason to blame any future children problems on that moment- my kids get hysterical at the mention of it. If I could (without guilt) I'd just turn her loose in the country somewhere!
you sure got a lot of confessionals on this one!
-my kids average brushing their teeth once a day, and that is mostly because their dad is home at night time and he can do it.
-if there is a leftover baked item (cookies, brownies, cakes, pies, etc) at breakfast time, i'll eat it. sometimes i make my kids eat a healthy breakfast while they watch me, sometimes i let everyone have cake. it mostly depends on how much there is!:)
-i love to throw away the little toys. if i've stepped on it more than once, you can bet that it will be thrown away.
-i make my kids play outside when i need peace and quiet or to keep the house clean, no matter what the weather.
-i am going to start putting the kids to bed in their clothes on saturday nights. brilliant!
I do the sleep in your clothes thing too. I think my kids wear jammies to bed less than once a week.
I will throw away clothes if they are too dirty and I think they will stain anyway. That is the beauty of cheap thrift store clothes.
I've trained my kids not to talk to me when I'm holding a bowl of ice cream.
Sometimes I pull my husbands big jeans on over my pajama bottoms so I don't have to get dressed to take the kids to school.
I let my sons hamsters go at the forest preserve and told them I took them back to the pet store for some other nice kids to buy.
No one would clean the cage, or play with them. I purchased them in a moment of weakness and lived with the pain for over a year.
Okay I am literally laughing my tail off! I sleep on top of my covers whenever my husband is gone. Making beds is overrated anyway.
Oh can I tell you how much better that makes me feel! LOL- I tried to remember which ones in particular but when I started counting... yep, I have done almost all of those...lol... or something along the same lines... my kids' favorite saying... that's not fair...oh, didn't I tell you...
Loved the list! I really have to take some of these great tips from you! You inspire me!
I take off my 1 year olds clothes when we get home. So he doesn't take them off and leave them places and doesn't spill on them. I too feed my kids cereal for dinner or we have refridgerator potluck, anything you can eat from the fridge that doesn't have mold or past date that doesn't require reheating. We share a plate at meal time in the name of learning how to share and be fair...I hate washing dishes. We have "campout" in the living room with sleeping bags so beds don't have to be made. They just have to drag the bags back to their closets. I could go on as my husband works Tuesday- Saturday 12 hour days so I am a single Mom during that time with no support. It is just all good time allocation skills in Momhood.
Ah how you girls make me feel so much better about my "mean mom" habits:
Most of the time my children go to sleep in the same clothes they wore to school
I have the no clothes allowed at the dinner table rule...underwear or diapers only please!
We ALL brush our teeth in the shower so mommy can do her hair in the mirror!
I eat all the candy from whatever holiday was last at night when they go to bed
If the socks look clean keep them on until they dont rule also applies in the Davis household
I feed my toddler pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner on some weekends. but that backfires when the maple syrup kicks in.
I bribe him to behave with bubble gum.
I give him "Sink baths" once a week because tub baths wind him up for at least an hour and half and there is just no time in the morning.
I make him dinner of chicken nuggets and applesauce and then after he goes to bed, I drink my dinner.
I buy things from the deli and put them in my dishware and say I made them at potlucks.
There is no point in dressing children in pajamas or making beds. My kids have been sleeping in their clothes for years...although now they are teens so they sleep in their boxer shorts. And the only time I ever make a bed is laundry day when I put the new sheets on...
I am guilty of letting the dog babysit my three year old while I take the older kids to school.
None of my children sleep under the sheets.
I have my secret stash of truffles in the garage on the storage freezer.
I come home during Sunday School and Relief Society so I can take a nap and return in time to meet my family and ask what they learned today.
I am mentally more healthy because I work part-time outside the home.
I skip pages when reading an unfamiliar book to my non-reading pre-schooler.
I hide in my closet to talk on the telephone so my kids can't find me. They are starting to catch on.
I make my son play in his crib so I don't have to worry where he's going or what he's doing.
If he drops his pacifier, I pick it up and put it back in his mouth. Even if it was in Target. Or the bathroom.
Hilarious - I love your blog (just learned of it). I use the toys as punishment.
1) First warning is a timeout after not listening/doing/ignoring, etc
2) Second warning they pick out a toy that goes to charity
3) Third, WE pick out the toy
They are my hubby's kids from his prior marriage, so oh yes, I am the evil stepmonster. Wait til we have 'em this Summmer as #1 will likely be eliminated.
We also have a "points system" where points can be added - and removed - by whatever good deed (favor? They grant us "favors" to help? How about the roof over your head, overflowing closet of toys and meals...not to mention the amusment park visits, etc!).
How amazing are you!? SO amazing! Your blogs make me laugh so hard! Thaaanks!
Here are a couple of my worst meanest Mom moments. We used to live next door to a family who had a very obnoxious son, so one year I put really, soft rotten tomatoes in his trick or treat bag for Halloween.
Another time I squirted the same kid with my garden hose on purpose when I was watering my plants. When his Dad came out wondering why his kid was all wet I told him I'd tripped and accidently got him. It's been over 30 years now but I still get a good snicker out of my meanness and there's no way I'm fessing that to my Bishop so there's got to be a special kind of heaven for mean Moms at the end of their ropes, don't you think?
I am laughing... I too use gift cards my kids get on my self. This is my first visit here and I will be back and follow you on google. I found you through http://drhollyoung.blogspot.com/2009/04/fill-bucket.html where you were nominated as a bucket filler. You filled mine with laughter!
i don't know if you'll read this comment since you posted this in feb! LMBO!!!!!
Too many things I've been charged with! I love how you tell it like it is!
You've just added a guilty follower!!
THANK GOD! I thought I was a horrible mother.
TV is on Noggin or Nick Jr. ALL DAY
If I have to be somewhere before 10am, they sleep in their clothes the night before.
Most stay at home days...we don't get dressed.
I have a "stuff drawer" in EVERY ROOM of my house.
I will let the laundry pile up and then do it all over two days, because I hate it hate it hate it. That is why my children have so many clothes.
I'm just glad that I'm not alone in my coping abilities. They're always the cleanest, best smelling, best dressed kids, who cares HOW they got that way.
I spent my son's birthday cash on psychotherapy.
When it was time to set the clocks ahead this year, I didn't set the ones my children could see and tell time from, thus allowing me to call bedtime an hour early.
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