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The Meanest Mom Blog by Jana Mathews is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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61 comments
OMG- I usually just offer to pack for my son & have a laugh. This is awesome!!! My 9 yr old is convinced there are greener pastures elsewhere as well.
I regret to inform you that I will be unable to attend the party. I will be driving my twelve-year-old to the airport so she can run away as well (if she can hang on until Saturday.) Perhaps she and Camber could be roommates?
I remember when I was 3-4 and "ran away" to the end of the driveway. I put 2 trash cans next to me, put a blanket over top, and sat there till I got bored.
The next time I threatened it, my family held FHE in my room while I was packing. The lesson? "Reasons why you're not ready to be on your own." I think there was talk about money and a job, but I really don't remember.
ooh, I wanna come, can my 5 year old son join her? twice the tears is always good, right?
Our son was 6, I think, when he decided to run away. He got a small plastic storage bucket and filled it with some clothes and toys and a can of corn. He came downstairs and said he was leaving, so could we please drive him to the airport. When we asked him about money, he said he had a quarter to buy a plane ticket so we didn't have to worry. Oh so funny!
My friend's son came to her one night and said, "Mom, I've been talking to God, and he told me that I deserve a better family so I'm running away." My friend wisely told him to get some sleep first and forgot about it by morning.
I just found your blog! Having a 9 year old and two 5 1/2 year olds I totally understand being the "meanest mom in the world!"
My 9 year old used to run away alot! Since I just say "goodbye" wont give her a ride or money, and she's not allowed past the mailbox I guess she's given up???
I'll bring some gifts for her, like mace and rat poison. That ought to really get her in the mood for her adventure.
My mom used to help us pack, but I NEVER got a party. I guess that means you aren't the MEANEST mom.
My kids: I let them out the front door and lock it behind them. They usually sit in the driveway for an hour or two before they ring the bell.
Nice! Great card! I wish her all the luck on her new venture.
This is fantastic!!! Have a great time!!! lol!!!
My poor mother... I really did run away from home at 14. That was after saveral years of "trial run aways". After about 7 days I got really hungy and "snuck back in" once a week to stock up my backpack. This went on until I was 18. Oh yeah, and I also dropped out of school then too. But, I ended up a happily married fairly decent mother and I have apologized and offered to pay for my moms hair dye on almost a daily basis. (considering I am the reason she went completely gray) But seriously, you attitude is awesome. I love it!
OH I love this. I wish I thought of it when my kids were small. I just packed their bags...like apparently a lot of other moms.
Hahahahaha.
Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. I wish Camber all the best of luck on her journey. If she needs a place to stay she can come chill here with me in Utah. That is far away from home. She will love Provo, its filled with a bunch of weird Mormons.
I personally have been there...and I can't WAIT for my daughter to hit it, too! Good luck, Camber!
Camber, I can only imagine the horrible things you must put up with in your home that makes you want to hit the highway. Please know that you are on the right track. I mean, really, who needs a home cooked meal EVERY day, a roof over your head is totally overrated, clean clothes are really an option and for that matter hot water for taking a bath....ha, who needs it?! I say go out and claim your territory where noone will tuck you in, read you a book, feed you and oh yea, love you. You go girl!
LOL, you are awesome. I regret I won't be able to attend, short notice and all that, but let Camber know that if she needs a place, I've got a spare bedroom for her and lots of odd jobs so she'll never be bored. Our backyard is full of rocks and I really need them stacked nicely in the back corner. She can go back home in August when our baby arrives!
That is hilarious! I love it! I'm going to tell my sister about it, she has a 6 year old who's the same way.
haha ... I remember when I ran away. Packing my favorite stuffed animals. LOL I came home for dinner, and never left
LOL! My daughter told me the other day she is running away to join the circus. I'm still laughing about it!
I just got called the meanest mom in the world last night--so I can officially be in your club. How dare I ask my 7-year-old to push her drawers in. (GASP) And in response, I'm removing all of her things from her room. She's in for quite a shock when she gets home to empty furniture today. (insert evil laugh)
Maybe Maddie and Camber can find a world where they can do whatever they want. :)
My son knows how "great" he has it here (he is 7), yet he is always saying his brother needs to find a new place to live (his brother is 3). If his brother moved, then my 7 year old feels he would have the perfect life. Good luck to Camber. I wish her luck in her adventure out into the real world.
BTDT.. My 7 year old has planned to run away several times. The last time she wanted me to drive her from IN to the beach in SC with her teddy bear only. When I said the best thing I could do was the bus stop, she relented and went to bed. Oh, the drama! Have a fun party!
HA HA HA HA HA! I remember when my son insisted that he was leaving and that one of the neighbors, ANY of the neighbors, was going to take him in. I told him that his bags would be waiting at the neighbor's house when he got home and he could forget ever seeing his grandparents again. He got on the bus really sad that morning.
*LOVE* the invite... so glad you thought of us all, in this sad, sad time!! :)
Would you consider making me a bagde to wear that says "I'm NOT Nathan's Mom!" LMAO!!
That's what I always get.. no running away threats yet, just the very threatning.. "You're not my Mom" and "In the morning, I will not let you see me" (b/c everynight before bed I tell him I'll see you in the morning)
Oh.. and if she goes missing, don't panic, check the cupboard!! :)
Fabulous we are in! What can we bring?
So funny & true! Thanks for making me smile this morning!
Wow! I'm feeling a little too nice. My boys are 20, 17, and 14 and NO ONE has ever run away or even threatened to run away.
I've invited them to though. ;)
Too funny and very clever!
My mom always told me if I ran away. I could only take what I came with. The thoughts of running around in my birthday suit, kept me pretty close to home. That and all of my stuffed animals.
Hence, I use these theory on my kidlets. So far. So good.
You mean someone else's kids threaten to run away? I guess there's a club of us, if we gathered together anyway. LOL. Love your invite!
Wish I could come :-) But it´s a bit too far for me to travel. Think she has changed her mind until I would have arrived :-)
Christer.
That's hilarious!!! You have such a fun way of putting things. Tell me, how would you write waking up to your toddler who has pooped through her pull-up and all over my CARPETED closet, shoes, and clothes??? Looks like we both had a fun morning.
When my I threatened to run away my mom offered to pack me a lunch. I was so mad that she was helping me leave, I went to my room and cried. I'm waiting for that day to come with my almost five year old. I like your idea of a party though.
Our sons were told they could take with them exactly the same things they came into this world with...
children are so much fun!
SMILE
Sorry, can't make it-I am running away, too. My kids are helping me pack!
Oh, I want to come! Is it BYOB?
I was all anticipating the running away to the end of the driveway. He is only 5 - but he actually left. Had to chase him around the block...
Lol! Every time my youngest announces he's leaving home, the response from all within hearing is, "again?!" Hehehe. He has this little blue duffle bag that has frequented a spot by the front door several times over the past few years. My favorite time was when he left for quite a bit, came back, (he'd been sidetracked by a bunch of grasshoppers in a field...) and in unpacking his bag, I found among other things: 5 baseballs, a clip-on tie, 7 pair of socks, a couple of granola bars and a Book of Mormon. Translated in Russian! Lol! Wonder where he was headed?! :)
That's too funny. My friends 5 year old recently ran away. She got several streets over when some man saw her. Luckily her shirt had her school logo and he called the school, who called the parents, who were completely surprised their daughter was not in her room finishing her time out. A bit scary.
I would love to attend... Can we bring anything?? What does one bring to a running away party????
Hey - do you think Camber would allow me to run away with her if I promise to not act like a mom??
Pretty Pretty Please, with a cherry on top.
Heh, I get disowned at least twice a week- "If you don't (fill in blank) then I'm not going to be your boy."
I tried to give away my 10-year old step-son in the middle of Costco on a Saturday...I didn't have any takers.
Totally taking mental notes for a few years down the road...LOVE IT.
My cousin loves to tell the story about when her 4 year old son wanted to runaway. He started packing his little sister's clothes too. She asked what he was doing and he said I'm not leaving her here with you! Too funny!
I have a really big back yard for her...newly fenced. I can stick her out there so she'll be safe. If she'll haul the patio furniture out of the pool house, she can sleep on one of the chase lounges. I have a couple of fur babies that would love for a kid to come by.
If she wants to eat, she'll have to do some chores to earn it though. Nothing in life is ever truly free. There is always a load of laundry to be folded, floors to vacuum, bathrooms to clean, garbage to take out. Send her my way. I could use some "fresh" energy to help out around here.
Give her a bag of bread crumbs. She'll come running back home to mama after The Meanest Granny is done. ROFL!
I threatened to run away once. I actually left and followed the road around my house. Turns out I lived on a circle so I made it back home.
but seriously- what if they did actually leave and not come back? not to freak anyone out but in my {city} a boy who was 9 ran away from home and it was almost 3.5 weeks before he was found.
inspired!
One of my fondest memories of my children (now 30 and 34 yo grown men) is of the first time they announced they were running away – they’d’ve been about barely-4 and 7 at the time. I asked them where they were going, and they said: Africa. Being curious, I asked which country in Africa – turns out, it was Nigeria.
That led to a full-blown discussion about how long they thought it’d take to get there, what all they’d need to pack for such a long journey, and what they might find once they got there. The atlas, encyclopedia, bus and an old airline schedule, etc, were fully consulted during this very sincere and important discussion (mind you, this was before the days of the internet).
We discussed the money of Nigeria and how much food might cost there; time zone differences and if they’d still have a bath before bedtime; climate differences between where we were and there and whether winter jackets would be needed… you name it, we covered it. They asked most of the questions and together, we hunted for the answers.
We were all absolutely exhausted by the time dinner rolled around – all that planning flat wore us out! They never did run away that day. Or later, either. I don’t know if I took all of the fun of “the threat” out of it that day, or if they just decided to stick around to see what other things they could conspire to spring on me to get me all parent-flustered. It sure was fun, though. Oh, but the places we’ve “traveled” to over the years since that first “run away” and the things I’ve learned from those two…priceless. beth.
I never had the urge to run away. My parents, however, frequently threatened to run away.
Ummm. I regret I won't be able to make it to the party.
When my 16yr old was 6yr old he told me he was running away and i calmly told him that he wasn't allowed to. Well he decided he was running away to Grandma&grandpa's house (two blocks away)So i calmly called the local police department and ask if they could go get him and bring him home. About 15 minutes later he he come home in a patrol car. Some people thought it was mean of me but he never ran away again and he knew i meant business when i told him something
OMG, I am so in on the party. Does she have a preference of a bucket or garbage bag for her "things"? I'll bring both and perhaps her name monogrammed on them?! LOL
I found your blog from the "Freaky Friday" post with Courtney and just had to leave a comment to let you know I've just spent the better part of 3 work days reading your entire blog from start to finish (yeah, I know, I'm a very busy woman) and I love it! I posted a link to it on my own blog a few days ago. You are hilarious and validate for me many of the feelings I have on a daily basis about my 2 kids. Thanks so much.
How could I adore you more? I couldn't.
Better watch out she's going to call you "evil stepmother" soon. That's what my 5 yr old calls me when I am so mean to her. I cold show per pictures proving I am her bio-mom but think she really not fighting the biological connection so much as the "you're evil" part. Poor mistreated children. They put up with so much ;P.
Wasn't there a Ramona Quimby book where she wants to run away, but her mom packs her suitcase so that it's WAY too heavy and she can't lift it? Classic.
And I'd LOVE to come to the party. Sadly, our housemate's Demon Child is visiting for the weekend and I'm stuck here. I WISH I could get him to run away.
I remember my mom helping me pack one year after Id said I was leaving for the umpteenth time, I was crushed to the core, she even seemed happy. she let me get to the door and said "its to bad your going to miss dessert tonight" thats all it took, I begged her to let me stay! Moms are the best! Just discovered your blog and have spent hours catching up. What fun you are!
I would like to see a picture of the hairstyle, please.
OMGsh! You always have me laughing! I'm so glad to have found your blog.
i laughed so hard at this i cried. thanks!
Oh man, I LOVE this. My 11 year old threatens to run away pretty regularly. She's also very serious "this time" every time she says it. And I'm the meanest mom in the world because she thinks I don't believe her, and gosh darnit, she's GOING to prove me wrong. Next time you have a going away party, we're coming.
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