May 14, 2009
Out of Service
Attention church people, preschool moms, and hospital billing representatives:
Today and probably tomorrow and quite possibly the next day, I will be unavailable to speak to you. As much as I would like to discuss the various uses of wheat grinders/what's on sale at Gymboree/the hospital bill I never received but you say is overdue, I'm going to be unable to take your calls. While delivering a stack of questionably clean towels to the bathroom closet this morning, I tripped on the bath mat and accidentally dropped my cell phone into the toilet....which one of my children forgot to flush. We don't have a house phone. I dug the phone out of the commode with the fish tank net and sprayed it with Febreze. I haven't found the courage to physically touch the phone yet, but even if it still works, I'm not sure that I can, in good conscience, get so close to an object that is saturated with urine and who knows what else.
Then again, I sniff my baby's diaper fifteen times a day, so really, what is the difference?