"Stop looking at me!!!!!" Camber screamed at her brother.
"I can look at you if I want to!" Cortlen yelled back.
"The bathroom sink is full of water," Kellen said authoritatively, "And it's spilling on the ground."
"Happy Father's Day," I said as my husband put his pillow over his head.
The day got better as the hours rolled on. Kellen ripped the Father's Day card that Camber made at school and Camber tripped and bruised her leg while chasing her brother down. For unknown reasons, Cortlen thought it would be fun to hurdle over my Father's Day gift to my husband (a large framed picture of the kids). Shockingly, he fell short and landed on top of the frame, splintering its edge.
"I kind of want this day to end," my husband said on the way to church. "Is that bad?"
My husband eventually got his wish...but not before Cameron wet through his diaper as we were taking the sacrament. My husband's suit was soaked and, after several minutes, began to smell...almost as bad as the farts that repeatedly emanated from the man sitting on the pew next to us.
We live over thirty minutes away from our church's meetinghouse, so driving home for a quick change was not an option. Neither was leaving church early, as I was teaching Sunday School the second hour and my husband was conducting another meeting the final hour.
It was cloudy, overcast, and cold when church let out, but we drove home with the car windows open.
"I need a shower in the worst way," my husband commented. No one disagreed with him.
When our family reconvened at the dinner table thirty minutes, three people complained about the food they were served and the fact that they were expected to use utensils to eat it.
"If I hear one more peep out of any of you," I warned, scanning the table with my pointer finger, "You're going to your room for a time out."
There was a moment of silence before someone let out a loud shriek. "AHHH!"
Knowing the consequence of his actions, the offender excused himself and went upstairs.
"Hey," Kellen asked. "Where's Dad going?"
P.S. All's well that ends well. After a quick breather and a handful of potato chips, my husband was back in the saddle, ready to take on and actually enjoy a dinner conversation that included a prolonged discussion of a scab on Camber's knee and fifty-four questions about the meal preferences of deep water sharks.
The life of a dad. Every dad to be exact.
Happy Father's Day!
Thank you to everyone who entered the Paper Culture Giveaway! Congratulations are in order to the following lucky ladies who will each receive a $50 gift certificate:
Francie who said, "Count us in...my daughter just had a new baby girl and needs to order birth announcements. this would be a great start to getting them done!
Jodi who said, "I LOVE these cards!! I checked out the website - I'm going to have a hard time choosing if I win!!
Tris-star who said, "Those are cute! Hopefully I'll have wedding invitations to mail out soon!"
Winners: E-mail me with your contact info ASAP so I can get your stuff shipped out!
Everyone else: Don't fret! Paper Culture is running a sweet promotion. Right now, you can get $15 off your order of $50 or more.
Plus, there will always be a next time.
Speaking of which.....
If you are interested in advertising on the The Meanest Mom blog and/or participating in an upcoming giveaway, contact me HERE or at themeanestmom at gmail dot com.