June 23, 2009
Our Rodent Problem
We have a rodent problem. Much to my growing consternation, we have had said problem for several weeks.
"It's because of the rain," said my husband, referring to the thunderstorm that has hovered over our house for the past two months.
I had another theory, but I kept my thoughts about the Bubonic Plague to myself.
The first set of mouse traps we purchased promised a humane end to our problem. At night, the mice would check into a sturdy, yet inescapable mouse motel by triggering a trap door. In the morning, we would open the trap door and gently and humanely toss the mice over our neighbor's fence (the same neighbor who admits to throwing the snakes she finds in her pool into our yard).
When mouse motel failed to lure in its desired guests, we swapped it out for several sheets of sticky paper. This method of mouse catching significantly decreased the chances of the rodents' survival, but increased the chance that I would not move into a local hotel with the kids by the end of the week.
At the end of the first forty-eight hours, it became apparent that we were not dealing with regular mice, but rather mutant rodents. Specifically, these miracle mice did what the sticky paper packaging said was impossible: they left footprints and droppings on the tacky glue, but no bodies.
By this point you might be wondering two things:
Q:Doesn't this lady have cats?
A: We do, and they are very efficient mousers when they are not lying comatose on the bed or eating chips and graham crackers out of the pantry cupboard.
Q: Why doesn't this lady solicit the services of a professional pest control company?
A: That would cost money. Plus, we like to do things the messier and, in the long run, more expensive way.
When Plan B failed to produce any corpses, I went to Lowe's in my pajamas at 6am and purchased a bag of conventional mouse traps and a blow torch, the latter of which my husband made me return.
"Smoking them out is not a viable option," he told me.
I'm sad to say that it's been three days since Plan C has been implemented and all I have to show for my growing obsession every morning are six empty mousetraps, the peanut butter and cheese baits licked clean.
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