August 17, 2009

Take Me Out to the Ball Game


My husband and I took the kids to Baltimore for the weekend. The Orioles were playing our hometown team, the California Angels, and we thought it would be fun to go to a couple of the games. Kellen and Cortlen (age 5) were very interested in the activities on the field. Camber (age 6), on the other hand, was more interested in hanging on my arm, asking me incessently when we were going to leave, and rifling through the contents of my purse.

"Stay out of there!" I told her for the fifteenth time in as many minutes and swatted her hand away from my stash of breath mints.

It's hard being six, unjustly persecuted, and on the brink of starvation. Against better advice, Camber made the conscious decision to consume all of her snacks and drinks in the top of the first inning.

The whining, the wiggling, and the gnashing of teeth increased in intensity throughout the second and third innings. By the fourth inning, the people around us were beginning to wiggle and gnash their teeth. I took Camber and the baby on a trip to the restroom.

Outside the bathroom was a white tent filled with young women wearing white jeans and lots of eye makeup. Several other similarly dressed women stood at the bathroom exit, handing out perfume-scented coupons for waterproof mascara and pointing female baseball fans in the direction of the tent, where free lip gloss and a complimentary makeover awaited.

The same six-year-old who would not sit still in a stadium seat for more than two seconds waited in line patiently for forty-five minutes for a dab of blush and a free tube of blemish concealer.


We returned to our seats at the bottom of the seventh inning. Immediately after showing her father and brothers her new treasures, the six-year-old announced that she was hot, sweaty, hungry, tired, and probably allergic to the chair in which she was sitting. She scratched and writhed her way through the eighth inning, at which point we decided to call it a night.

*******
Anyone else torture their children in similar fashion? Do tell!

27 comments

Michelle said...

Poor child! I hate it when we try to fun stuff and the kids whine. We have been to one Orioles game since moving to Baltimore. We want to go again. My kids had a blast!

Malarie said...

I totally understand where Camber is coming from. My parents took me to Camden Yards to watch the Orioles maybe twice and learned that baseball, and pretty much every sport, is really not in my interest.

I'll babysit next time, haha.

TMWW said...

I personally would end up people watching instead of watching the game. I'm just not in to sports like that. A football game might hold my attention, a drag race definitely, but baseball? Yeah, not so much. I can sympathize with the poor kid. Next time you all want to go to a baseball game, send Camber my way. I'll take her to the drag strip and we'll both come back loopy from the NOS!!!

Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said...

I'm with Camber! I'm not a baseball fan and don't think I could sit through a whole game either!

Dancing Hula in the Sunset said...

I'm a hula dancer. I have to drag my 10 year old to hula shows. At one point when the audience was quiet and the Kumu came on the stage and started chanting something ancient and profound my Little Miss screamed out "Oh no, not this" and followed that with the loudest sigh known to mankind.

Jo's girl said...

my kids, even when attending fun and kid appropriate things have a talent for whining and finding fault with what ever particular event. it's either cause some kid cut them off or got to where they wanted to get to first . they struggle with being happy despite the obvious desperate attempts to make them so.
but apparently I'm a glutton for punishment cause we still take them out.
and I revert into a pack mule carrying single handedly every thing under the sun to keep them "fed, content, comfortable, or dry." I love being a mom, but I love babysitters even more.

Amy J said...

It seems that whenever we go on a family outing, it ends w/ whining. We went bowling and they complained that they didn't get to go to the arcade room. I reitereated that we came to go BOWLING. They complained the whole way home.

Had a gift card to a nice restaurant. Took our boys for their famous desserts. They looked at them like they were vegetables. "What are the black flecks in the vanilla ice cream!?!" "Why do we have to eat THAT!?!" Two women came up to us in the middle and commented how much fun it was to watch us force-feed our children dessert. Should've just taken them to McD's.

Another time we stopped at Sonic for ice cream and they complained the whole time. Complained about eating ICE CREAM. Apparently, they just wanted sodas. When will we ever learn!?!

Katie said...

Oh boy! I know the girl's pain. It was not my children who couldn't sit still it was me. We went to a Toledo Mud Hens game (a farm team for the Detroit Tigers, can't afford the Tigers games anymore). I just had the ants in the pants the whole time waiting for my children to misbehave. I'll never last these whole 9 innings. Poor thing.

Sherilyn -The Dominee Huisvrouw said...

My parets used to take us to baseball games all the time, & while I LIKE baseball, I find the game sot be a bit long, so I'd take a book along. They used to lament the fact that they had paid for a seat for me to sit in it reading, but they always touted it as a "Family Outing" so I couldn't be left behind.

{Kiki} said...

i love baseball, especially seeing it live. we took lil' D in the beginning of the summer to a game. i was in seventh heaven. we were in great seats, behind the opposing teams dugout. big D was squirming in his seat, he hates these types of sporting events, and lil' D was complaining about everything. we lasted until the 4th inning. i couldn't take the constant whining from either of them. i hope to go again someday. camber is beautiful. take care.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer, Crazy Woman said...

OH YES. This post made me laugh out loud! We had our own baseball experience earlier this summer:

http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/2009/06/foam-party.html

PS I am still tripping over the finger at least once a week. And it loves Target.

Margaret Anne Clark said...

we took our VERY ACTIVE 3yr old DD to a wedding on Saturday. Never again....

Mommymel said...

I'm with Camber, Too. I couldn't sit thru a whole baseball game...I wish we had beauty consultants at our games! I could get a makeover instead of sitting bored in the stadium.

metaphase said...

I think you all don't like baseball b/c you're rooting for the wrong teams! Just kidding. We've been taking my daughter to Red Sox games since she was in utero. When she was 9 months I drove to Toronto from Boston with a friend and my daugther attended 3 days of games without complaint. Now my kids are 3 and 2 and we're sad that they won't get into Fenway for free anymore. So for all of you that hate going- I'll take your tickets off your hands! I heart baseball- go Sox!

Karen said...

I used to be the chaperone when my daughter's softball team went to a Red Sox game. I filled a bag with candy, drinks, balloons, beach balls, bubble stuff, noise-makers, etc. I felt like Mary Poppins but the girls made it through the whole game.

Jane said...

She is clearly a girly girl whom finds the game of baseball to be a bit boring. lolol

Janille said...

Both our local baseball teams have playgrounds and bounce houses set up at their ball fields for games - I think it is genius.

Connie said...

It's all about priorities! Who wants to sit for 3 hours watching a boring baseball game when you can stand in a line for 45 minutes to be girly?
We've done our share of torturing children. Even riding in a 12 passenger van for over an hour was a miserable trip...for them and us!

Mrs. Morty said...

My husband and I had the nerve to plan and save to take our kids to Sea World this summer. They whined and complained so much the first day we were there I was so livid. When they started whining about going back the next day I lectured them on how NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAD I EVER GONE ANYWHERE COOL!!! I think they appreciated the whales and dolphins a little more that day. At least the whining wasn't as incessant.

Fun Child Games said...

Children are like that. Sometimes you just cannot predict their behavior. As parents, the least we can do is to teach them the right way of everything, good values, etc. Also, we must let them engage to fun sports.

Sandy said...

I remember when my husband took my then 4 yr old son to their first father and son sports outting. The Dallas Stars were playing the Colorado Avalanche. This was a HUGE game for my husband. He had been looking forward to it for a long time and was so proud to be taking our son with him. 10 minutes after the game started I got a call from my husband informing me that they were on their way home because my son was throwing a fit wanting to be with mommy. LOL My husband hasn't tried to take him to a sport ing event since, he turns 7 next month. ;)

Kelly said...

I took my twin boys to a Diamondback game a few years ago when they were five. One twin spent the entire time staring at the scoreboard and telling me how many balls and strikes there were, every single time and the other one followed the cotton candy man for 4 innings waiting for it to get to us. It was a huge success.

AlsoMean said...

Oh boy, I am SO glad to be forewarned about the fun times to come for my family this weekend at the baseball game! I am sure it will be 95 degrees and 98% humidity at the 135pm start.
I am guessing that the ride on the slow, crowded Metro will be the highlight of the afternoon (for the kids - not us).
Packing bag now: Barbie, coloring, hairbrush, makeup kit....

Anonymous said...

I'm a HUGE Angels fan living in Las Vegas and just hit your blog for the first time - TERRIFIC is all I can say!! My daughter writes a blog and thats how I got from Point A to Point B :) Your stories are grand!

Peace.Love. Lipgloss. said...

How'd you like my hometown of Baltimore, Hon? :)

Tiffany-Joy Mo said...

This was hilarious, and definitely shows the difference between boys and girls...we recently took our 3 1/2 yr old and 15 month old sons to a baseball game, and both did great!
I'm glad you all made it to the game this time :)

heidicindy said...

I love the look on her face.