September 7, 2009

Missing Brains

(Monk, after reconstructive surgery)

On Friday, my car was in the shop for repairs. Being stranded at home for the day gave me a chance to catch up on some long overdue housework and my older children the time to play quiet board games in the basement and cut off the ear of Kellen's treasured stuffed monkey.

By the time I got to the crime scene, Kellen was borderline hysterical. Cortlen and Camber had already shoved the scissors under the sofa.

"They chopped off Monk's ear!!!!!" Kellen screamed, pointing at the suspects.

"Why did you do that?" I asked his siblings, more than a tad bit annoyed.

"Because Camber told me to," Cortlen stated matter-of-factly.

I looked around for other lemmings, but they had already run over the edge of the cliff.

"If Camber told you to saw off your own leg, would you?" I asked my son.

A long pause was followed by an even longer explanation that boiled down to a one word answer: "Probably."

"That is very disappointing," I told Cortlen. "I thought you had a brain."

At the mention of brains, Kellen was alerted to the fact that his monkey was spilling his all over the family room floor. My son stopped the seepage of white stuffing by plugging the hole with his finger.

Cortlen took the cue and put his fingers in his own ear canals...just to be safe.

20 comments

Michelle said...

Yikes! I love it when kids questions ridiculously like that.

Karen said...

Reminds me of when I cut off all my sister's doll's hair. She was supposed to be a "newborn" baby and I really didn't think a newborn should have hair. She still talks about it and we're in our 40's.

Scrapingirl said...

Somedays you wonder where the kids put their brains. I personally think they left them by their bed when they got up.

Jennifer said...

I remember doing things like that when I was little. There were just some ideas that seemed really brilliant - until you put them into action, and it didn't turn out quite as you expected. Which left me with a chunk of my hair sticking straight up from the crown of my head, because it really doesn't work to deal with snarls by cutting them out ...

mykideatsdirt said...

That reminds me of my little sister (baby of the family). She thought it'd be fun to get my youngest brother in trouble with my folks by PLUCKING a chunk of hair (size of a quarter) out of the front of her hairline. She figured if she blamed it on him he'd be the one in trouble. LOL

My parents didn't buy it for a second and she had to walk around like an idiot explaining to others why she had a huge chunk of hair missing for a very long time.

Kids!

Pippa said...

Apparently I cut my hair off when I was little, glad it wasn't my ear as I like my brains in my head...

Patricia said...

Camber can be pretty convincing though. You have to admit.

Makayla said...

Speaking of cutting things (younger children obeying older children, etc.):

http://dchurchfamily.blogspot.com/2009/05/proof-that-7-yr-olds-are-not-qualified.html

Makayla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Girl Next Door said...

I just can't get over the plugging of one's ears "just in case." I think I will still be giggling tomorrow.

Miraculously, I have no such stories from my twins. Oh wait, I suppose Daughter did cut her own hair .....now I'm doubly laughing.

THanks!

Malea said...

Brilliant!

Eviej said...

My daughter(6yrs.) is usually the instigator in the mischief that happens here. She is the first to tattle on her brothers but, was the mastermind behind it all. We call her "the devil".

BTW, I love your blog! I have 3 boys 1 girl as well and there is never a dull moment here.

Jane said...

Ah yes the famous question we all at some point ask our kids. "If (insert child's best friend here) told you to (insert something ridiculous here) would you?" I'm here to tell you they almost always answer "maybe". lololol

Although the whole sticking his finger in his ears is priceless!

Parenting Ink said...

It's stories like this that makes me realize I'm turning into my mother!

Babs said...

That girlz got skilz! I laughed thinking about their conversation just before the de-earing. the begging, the egging, makes me snort laugh.

Jenn said...

Ah! We have a Monk, but his name is Bobo! Love those Monkeys.

Tracey in Calgary said...

Your kids are so hysterical...I know I would love them! Thanks for that 'laugh out loud' :-)

Chronicles of Momnia said...

hilarious AND adorable...

Katy said...

OMG I am LMAO, thank you. Staying up to wash the cloth diapers for my 1 yr old twins was getting really boring. So I started organizing my bookmarks, I think I was falling asleep from boredom when you're site resuscitated me. I hope my kids turn out just like yours!!!! And I hope I have your sense of humor through it all. Thank you for you're hilarious perspective. You should write a book!

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog - and i LOVE it! Children is so awesome! And I would really love to be like you when my time as a mother is here.

Thank you - for making med smile.

(And if you want to know, I'm from the very north of Norway. So you'r blog found it's way up here - how I love the web!)