January 21, 2010

Stop, Drop, and Roll

If you stop by my house on any given day at 5:30pm, the odds are 50-50 that you will find my children either rolling around on the frozen grass in the front yard or army crawling toward the front door. Invariably, one safety expert will remind the others that the good air is closest to the ground.

"Stay away from that smoke," someone will scream, pointing to the ceiling.

"Get out of there while you still can!" someone else will yell in my direction as he or she somersaults off the front stoop.

After opening all the windows and frantically fanning the air under and around the smoke detector, I will join my troop of junior fire marshals on the driveway. We will stand there exposed to the scornful eye of Marge, the elderly woman who lives across the street and spies on us through her living room blinds, until the smoke detector gives up the ghost or one of my children recites a tidbit of wisdom gleaned from a Smokey Bear public service announcement, whichever comes first.


"Remember, only you can prevent wild fires."

"Thank you Cortlen," I said tonight through clenched teeth.

I have the unfortunate habit of burning dinners. The contents of the oven can't hold my attention like, say, the three-legged squirrel that lives in the tree next to our roof line.

It's not all bad or wasteful, I tell myself. My children are very well versed in fire safety.

28 comments

Ann said...

It is GREAT practice!! There is a very good chance they will be the only ones who can honestly say that routinely practice their escape plan, during fire safety month! ; )

Gigi said...

LOL!!!!!! Sounds like what my house would be like . . . IF I actually cooked; but I don't; so we are woefully under-prepared.

Melissa @ A Child at Play said...

At least your children react properly to a smoke alarm. My cooking sets off the alarm all too often, and my kiddies run for the broom - frantically swatting the alarm and trying to clear the air.

Texas Dimons said...

I have the same problem which is why my husband and I have come to an agreement...I mix and put together, he bakes/ keeps an eye on what I'm cooking. Good thing is I don't do a ton of cooking when he's not at home!

Mommymel said...

Hah! I thought our house was the only one where the smoke detector serves as the dinner bell. I'm pretty sure my kids salivate when they hear it. Meanwhile, we're all toast if there's actually a fire :)

Kelli said...

Whenever the smoke alarm goes off in my house, the kids come to see what kind of bread is in the oven. :) That does it pretty much every time!

Lissa said...

At least your nosey neighbor lives across the street. Ours live upstairs and manage to come down to do laundry at the most INopportune of times and ask us the most inappropriate personal questions in Sacrament Meeting. We can't escape them. And we set off the fire alarm due to candles in our room at 1AM one night...not awesome.

MegRuth said...

Dear Jana,

When are you going to write a book?

Love, Megan

Kara and Theo said...

The smoke detector lets me know when the rice is ready.

Pam said...

I loved Smokey the Bear when I was a kid. My Dad worked for the US Forest Service and we loved it when we got Woodsy the Owl and Smokey the Bear stickers. BTW, it's "Only You Can Prevent FOREST Fires."

Kim . . . h2k family blog said...

Just last night, my hubbs said to my one year old daughter, who just threw her dinner on the floor.

"You're lucky, your mom has learn a little about cooking the last 10 years, because that first year she was burning the water."

Now when he sees I am cooking he always walks over to the stove, turns everything from High to Med and sets the timer. Genius that guy.

CSIowa said...

Squirrels are the least of things more interesting than cooking dinner.

Colleen said...

You have obviously not read out adventure with a burnt dinner!
you gotta read this...
http://combatcropper2.blogspot.com/2009/03/eggsplosion.html

LemonyRenee' said...

LOL!

The Mommy said...

Shortly after our Youngest Boy was born, I started making every effort to cook dinner. The first time, Oldest Boy ran up to me and said, "Mommy!! OH NO!! There's a fire!!" We have a gas stove...

The worst part it that my priest has told this story. During mass. Oy! At least he left out my name...

Working Mommy said...

Fire safety is very important!

~WM

HT said...

Sounds like our house the first Thanksgiving meal I every cooked!! Good to know that they know what to do! See, they actually do listen!

Sants said...

I was NOT expecting burnt dinner! Very funny!

Kyle and Alli said...

Awesome! Perhaps your kids could earn school credit for their ever so careful practice of fire safety!

A Musing Mom (Taylorclan6) said...

When you hear the screech, you know to come to dinner.

My kids stopped freaking out when the smoke alarm went about two years ago. Two weeks ago my 4 year old son said, "Mom, is the house going to go 'beep, beep' today?"

I assured him it would not.

It did.

Too Many Hats said...

LOL - my daughter just caught the plastic butter tray on fire while cooking her lunch - so this was very timely.

Heidi said...

I feel as though you need to take a picture of your crazy neighbor, like right in front of her, and post it on this blog. That would make me laugh. HARD.

Krista said...

Coming from a fire fighters wife, that's sayin' something!

Moncton Blogger said...

Hahaha sounds like me when I cook too. My wife always says to me no matter what I cook I always end up burning it,lol

I'm not that bad of a cook,lol. I know every parent should teach their kids all about fire safety. I know our 4 year old daughter knows exactly what to do in case of a fire. I think this is something all parents should take the time to do and speak with their children.

I really do enjoy your blog! My wife told me about it.

Sincerely,

Moncton Blogger

Anonymous said...

as my mother in law always says.....'set the timer!' I do believe I drive her nuts!

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