April 8, 2010

Skinny Jeans


To my total horror, yesterday I discovered (another) patch of gray hair on my scalp. In a frantic attempt to make myself feel better about the process of growing older, I headed straight to Forever 21, a mall clothing store whose name evokes the Fountain of Youth.

I wasn't two steps inside the establishment when I was accosted by a sneering teenager.

"Can I help you?" she asked in a way that implied that I was in a place where I didn't belong.

"I'm looking for something called skinny jeans," I told the girl, with an air of confidence that I didn't know I had.

The teen rolled her eyes. "That's all we carry," she said, and walked away.

Rejoicing, I grabbed one of everything.

Once inside the dressing room, I realized that I had been bamboozled. Skinny jeans are really just uncomfortable leggings.

"These are no good," I told the sales girl, passing a thick stack of pants through the dressing room curtain. Something about the last pair of jeans, however, caught my eye. At the last second, I snatched them back.

"Now we're talking," I said to myself as I slipped the pants on and admired myself in the mirror.

A few minutes later, the sales clerk tapped on the curtain. "Do you need anything?" she asked.

I drew back the curtain and smiled broadly.

The teenager bit her lower lip and shook her head.

"Have you tried Anne Taylor Loft?" she asked me.

She might as well have said 'Coldwater Creek.'

"That's an old lady store," I hissed.

I forgot to mention that all four of my children were in the dressing room with me at the time.

The teenager shrugged her shoulders. "Do what you want," she advised, "But I think you should shop around."

As much as I respected the teen's honesty, on the way home, I started to wish bad things upon her.

Last night, I prayed that when she grows up, she'll have triplets.

58 comments

reen said...

Yeah! Triplets!!

zunzun said...

She must not work on commission!LOL! I'd say "triplets" and all with ornery and contrary dispositions.

I know the feeling...it's so hard not to look at them and yell "YOU'LL be ME in 20 years!!!"

Janell said...

Awwww, I shop at Anne Taylor and Cold Water Creek. -_-;

the thrifty ba said...

or at least huge disfiguring stretchmarks...
i wear skinny jeans at 39 and i see nothing wrong with it! you wear those!

Kellie said...

Yeah, I pray for my enemies like that too.

Lisa, An American Mom said...

Ha ha, I can totally relate to this one! A) Forever 21 can be a tad intimidating to the mama with kids in tow. But they do have awesome prices if you are looking for something trendy. B) Skinny jeans are not comfortable. Unless you are um, skinny. They look good but do not feel good!

Jessica Hills said...

That's too funny. I am only 25 and I feel sneered at going in there with my 2 year old, so don't feel bad!

Megan said...

Hey, I'm a hip 21-year-old and I LOVE Ann Taylor Loft!! I always say that if someone walked into Forever 21 with a lit match, the whole store would blow up in flames with all the poly fake fabric and cheapo clothes :-) No offense, of course! :)

Amy R. Nelson said...

I LOVE Ann Taylor Loft, I'm only 26. I even have grey skinny jeans from there and I absolutely adore them!

Tom and Karen Mortensen said...

This was good. But one question, What is wrong with Coldwater Creek? I love that store but I am also 50.

GooChick said...

I shove my fat ass in to skinny jeans and think I look fabulous...then I see my reflection in a window and cower from the scene, counting the minutes until I get home and can slip on my comfy velour sweats ;-)

Diane said...

Teenagers can be so cruel!

Megan said...

I think I may have you beat this time...I was with my BFF yesterday, who was trying on the bridesmaid dress for her sisters wedding...as I admired some of the other dresses on the rack, another customer complimented the cuteness of the dress and then asked "are you the...(wait for it)....Mother of the Bride???" In my disbelief, after putting on my hippest and most youthful outfit that morning, I said "I surely hope not...my oldest child is 7..." She didn't back track "oh no, I just meant you could be..." Oh, now I see...she made perfect sense...


Of course, by BFF put a better view on it when she said "Hmmm, does that mean she thought I was your daughter???"

It was a day of retail therapy at ageless Home Goods :)

Southern Belle Mama said...

Triplets??...go ahead and wish quads!

Last summer I had my second child and I went in Forever 21 to get some temporary clothes (ie. cheap) until I could lose some baby weight. They looked at me like I was crazy, but I did find a few things. :)

Megan said...

...lest I forget, I also swiftly bought MYSELF a pair of skinny cropped jeans to ease the pain :)

kristina said...

I had a similar experience last summer - while pregnant and with my 3 other kids in tow. I went in there looking for some cute and cheap transition pieces for that 'regular clothes are too small but maternity clothes are too big' stage. No one would talk to me. I did leave with a maxi dress and a babydoll top though.

PS - I like Loft! Wouldn't be caught dead in Coldwater Creek though.

Stacy said...

I Love it!!! I have to admit that I have wished multiples on people a time or two....this made me laugh out loud! Kuddos for you for your bravery, I am thirty and i am not getting near skinny jeans with a 10 foot pool.

Stacy
http://www.aboymakes3.blogspot.com

Lauren Kay said...

I wish triplets on her too.

And, I'm 25 and the only skinny jeans that I've ever found that don't look ridiculous were from Ann Taylor Loft. And I love them!

Jen said...

Just laughed out loud at the last line!

Designer Store said...

Interesting!

When it comes to men’s clothing the first thought which sparks in my mind is designer jeans. Anything will be suitable with designer jeans might be tees, shirts, jackets or blazers. Men in designer jeans look cool and handsome!

Jennifer said...

haha thats funny. I found ur blog cause my cousin blogged about this very post http://amandamarie37.blogspot.com/2010/04/its-feel-good-friday.html that is crazy! I woulda been pissed went off on her. Asked for a manager then prayed for the same thing! Ugh some people. Why do they work in places like that if they cant actually help someone. Ida spouted off at her at how I help to pay her paycheck and shove soething in her face.

brossettelewis said...

I am 30+ and love AT Loft. Embrace it.

Pull a pretty woman on her w/ all your bags w/ you "Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now." You'll laugh...she won't get it. Perfect.

Marshelle said...

What a great post! I love reading your comments, they make me feel so human and 'momly'. We all have to enjoy our ages and stages...they too (teens) will have their day! Have a great weekend!

Renny said...

Haha, listen Jana don't worry, I think skinny jeans should be abolished because they can take a girl that is a size negative something or other (which they may actually have now, its hard to tell...) and make her look twenty sizes larger. Maybe for a size negative that doesn't matter, but I don't understand such a counter intuitive jeans.
I always feel skinny jeans= make you look fat jeans.
And I have shopped at Anne Taylor, I've never bought anything cause its expensive, but I've looked and tried things on. And I'm 24. And single. And destined to die alone.

Jennifer said...

Well, crap. I love Ann Taylor Loft!

StayJo said...

I think you could totally pull off a pair of skinny jean...I hope you bought them!

You did right?

craftyashley said...

That's right! Wish some triplets on her! THEN we'll see who can look good in skinny jeans!

While Coldwater Creek is horrendous- I think the Anne Taylor Loft isn't so bad!

Karen in NC said...

Love this post!! Sounds like the store we have in NC Rue 21. Although I have to say, the people are always nice in there...but they are usually may age (30 something)... GooChick: You almost made me spit out my lunch from laughing so hard at your comment!!!

amydear said...

Ann Taylor Loft has great stuff and is definitely NOT an old lady store. I really mean it. Since I am several years past 21, I avoid that store (and all its scantily-clad counterparts) religiously.

The Mommy said...

So, skinny jeans. Can you wear them even after 4 kids? Because I HAVE 4 kids and after my 3rd I donated all of my skinny jeans to Goodwill after Stacy London said no one should wear them. Ever.

{SIGH} I would pray for 3 sets of twins. Triplets isn't enough :)

mpannek said...

ROFLMAO!!! I HAVE TRIPLETS and this just about made me wet my pants laughing!!! http://houseofpannek.blogspot.com

Mrs. Ohtobe said...

Our preacher's wife wore skinny jeans not to long ago to church. And she is in her 70's. Which just goes to show: just cuz ya can wear em (or fit into em) doesn't mean you should! Personally, I am on a crusade to resurrect the "Mom" jean - there is nothing wrong with jeans that cover your belly button AND your butt crack AT the same time - IMHO ;)

Emz said...

For sure.

Just say no to skinny jeans. They are not flattering [on ANYbody]. Especially the 16 year old BOYS I see rockin' them. Ewww.

Rachel said...

Oh my.

I love Coldwater Creek...and Loft...and I'm only 24. hmmm...

Go you for being fit enough to wear Forever 21 jeans...not to mention skinny jeans.

Emmy said...

I can't believe she said that! Holy cow.. I don't think her boss would be happy that she just lost the store some business. I haven't ever been in that store and well I don't think I will any time soon.

Kate said...

I'm 24, and I rarely shop at Forever 21. Too young ;-)

Actually, if you wanna talk about it from a style viewpoint, I've found there are lots of other brands/stores which carry cute, trendy clothes that are a lot higher quality than F21, and the employees don't try to make you feel bad for shopping there.

Mollie said...

LOVE the Loft. Costs more, but that's because they use more fabric and it lasts longer! A friend of ours recently tried on some skinny jeans and remarked, "They weren't for me. I just couldn't pull them off... As in, it took me 20 minutes to pull them off." Hahaha!

Cathy said...

I totally LOLed! GREAT post! I too have a love-hate relationship with skinny jeans.

Cindy in PA said...

Loved your prayer for triplets for her! Also, for some reason I'm now thinking about going to Ann Taylor Loft for my next shopping trip!

Queen of Crafts, Current Events, and Such. said...

Yikes J!
Your in that uncomfortable, but yet,oddly freeing zone of ....The Jeans Truth.
Now listen up..I am 45(i know...im old), but I was a size eight before kids and back in my youth. I tried to look good in the juniors jeans till i was about 35 or so....I thought that the Misses section was a horrible no returning to youth zone.
I have to tell you something.
One day, I was in the misses section and stumbled across some cool low rise, slightly stretchy, cool looking Levi's.
I thought ...."What the hell"
It was a beautiful moment. I got my ass in those size 10s, and my ass didnt look bad at all...and the fit was heavenly.
The Misses sections has the same brands as the juniors. They just fit "us" better in the "birth areas"
Now go to the Stein Mart(they have Lucky Brands that fit good) or go to Macys and feel your way around girl ....you can do it....
BTW...I was in Coldwater Creek waiting for my sister by the door , because i thought,..."I aint going in this old lady place", and then it happened...I brushed up against the softest (almost butter like) skinny jeans...extra long.... to wear tucked in boots ...( the most wonderful skinny jeans in the whole damn world.
Lovingly yours, Queen of Whatever

Queen of Crafts, Current Events, and Such. said...

P.S I work out daily and do pilates and am in good toned shape....i am just saying....believe me

Lyla said...

Ann Taylor Loft - totally not an old lady store! I usually find something super cute there whenever I go (although I am 31...jeez...am I old and don't know it?)

Hey...if the name scares you, just TELL people your Loft clothes are from Forever 21. :-)

JenM said...

You wear those skinny jeans and go ahead and get some leg warmers to go with them. My husband thinks I'm caught in a time warp. He can kiss my Paris-Blues-clad ass.

The older I get, the younger I dress. Pretty soon I'm going to be wearing Osh Kosh.

Jana, you are awesome. Do not succumb to the amorphous billowing clothes of Coldwater Creek and JJill. Wear Ann Taylor if you are getting a job as a lawyer or vacationing in the Hamptons. In the meantime, rock it, sista.

Lori said...

I had one of those at Urban Outfitters last week...

Admittedly I was giddy when my four year old said she looked like the hookers near the OB/GYN office my mom works at.

Kimberly said...

I just can't stop laughing at this one!
My mom busy clothes from Coldwater Creek but only online because she, too, feels like it is an old lady store. Some how by not going into the store, and trying on clothes, justifies to her that she is not one of those old ladies.

MrsDixon said...

Lol! This is too funny! How dare that sales girl judge you! I bet they looked great!

Christol said...

Laughed out loud with the last line, thanks:)

Skinny jeans with some stretch in them...that's the secret. Try The Gap, I'm 41 and it's all good.

christine said...

Try White House Black Market. They never sneer and they carry skinny jeans.

Alas, I cannot wear skinny jeans. My hips are just too...wide?...huge?...there.

Cat said...

Hey! I HAVE triplets and it's not such a curse. Why not just wish that her metabolism takes a nose dive as soon as she hits 20? That happened to me, too, and it sucks much more than having three babies at once.

Tomena said...

So... did you buy them? I have 5 kids...and I'm 28... something has to balance that out..?.. I've been contemplating skinny jeans too.

Missy said...

I went into Forever 21 ONCE and the young girl working there quickly informed me that the "teacher" section was upstairs. HUH?!?!?!?

Love getting older....I would've wished quintuplets on her.

Solar Powered said...

And I quote "our jeans are more for a younger person"

allie said...

This made me laugh so hard. Thanks!

Erica said...

Very funny. I'm 26 and can't shop at Forever 21 anymore. Skinny jeans sound flattering, but they're not. They look horrible, even on skinny women. Banana Republic has nice jeans.

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