Just this morning, I received the following very excellent email:
David to me
10:23am (4 hours and 13 minutes ago)
I am a journalist who is writing an article on parent-child relations and in the process of my research, I stumbled across your blog. I feel compelled to say that I find your parenting strategies--as well as those of your readers who comment on your site--to be abhorent and malicious. I am appalled at the number of parents on your blog who derive pleasure from embarrassing their children and then brag that they are 'mean moms.' It's horrible that you take the title of 'mean mom' as a badge of pride. How can all of you live with yourself? You should be ashamed. Have a nice life.
For whatever reason, I've received a number of these sorts of emails lately. Usually I ignore them, but this one is the first that I've received that directly names you, the reader, as a co-abuser. Clearly David is a diligent crusader for human rights and thus deserves a timely response. Rather than speaking for the group, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to defend yourself, if that is even possible. Personally, I fear that I am too far gone to ever be anything other than mean.
In all seriousness, why ARE we so awful to our children? How can we live with ourselves after tormenting our offspring day after day after day? When and how will the madness stop?
In your responses, please avoid the use of irony, as David is not familiar with this rhetorical device.
Also, remember to have a nice life.
David to me
10:23am (4 hours and 13 minutes ago)
I am a journalist who is writing an article on parent-child relations and in the process of my research, I stumbled across your blog. I feel compelled to say that I find your parenting strategies--as well as those of your readers who comment on your site--to be abhorent and malicious. I am appalled at the number of parents on your blog who derive pleasure from embarrassing their children and then brag that they are 'mean moms.' It's horrible that you take the title of 'mean mom' as a badge of pride. How can all of you live with yourself? You should be ashamed. Have a nice life.
For whatever reason, I've received a number of these sorts of emails lately. Usually I ignore them, but this one is the first that I've received that directly names you, the reader, as a co-abuser. Clearly David is a diligent crusader for human rights and thus deserves a timely response. Rather than speaking for the group, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to defend yourself, if that is even possible. Personally, I fear that I am too far gone to ever be anything other than mean.
In all seriousness, why ARE we so awful to our children? How can we live with ourselves after tormenting our offspring day after day after day? When and how will the madness stop?
In your responses, please avoid the use of irony, as David is not familiar with this rhetorical device.
Also, remember to have a nice life.
Posts
250 comments
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 250 of 250Are you kidding me?? What a ridiculous e-mail!! Maybe "David" doesn't know what it's like to be a parent. I poke fun at my parenting mistakes and my childrens' mishaps because life is too short to take life so seriously. Besides that, I think it's wonderful and refreshing to meet fellow moms who aren't "perfect" and who don't always have it together.
I'm disappointed by so many of these comments.... So the choice is to be a coddling mom or a tough/mean mom? How about a good mom? Being a mom is hard. Some days it sucks. You do not get a pay check, you do not get time off. You do not get mother of the year, month or even day awards. Somewhere between dreaming of the future and talking to your little newborn baby and today many of you have forgotten why we are moms.
The children in our homes are people, who deserve respect. Moms who stay home need to realize that it is a JOB. I don't know what your work ethic is, but I never got mad at my boss for not allowing me to read a book, do my nails or other things on company time. Raising kids is the same, once you choose to allow that little child into your house, you are acknowledging that for the next 18 years you are putting yourself last, agreeing to be unselfish, your child comes first. It's hard. But that's what you do.
You also get babysitters for "sick days" go on GNO's for "Vacation time" and take your FAMILY on vacations. You have JOY being a mother, teach your children with LOVE. And when you lose your temper, you APOLOGIZE to your children/spouse. It makes sense to me for a 3 year old to lose their temper, an 8 year old to be sasy, and a teenager to be stupid. It doesn't make sense to me for a grown women to throw a tantrum. Sadly many women have grown up thinking that they are owed something, that life is supposed to be easy, that they should be catered to. What happened to the mentality that we do things because they have to be done, it's the right thing to do, and who better to do it than me?
Why did you all have children??
The good moms like me see you on the playground, at school and in the grocery store. You think that you have the whole motherhood thing figured out, but we know better. While you are screaming at your children at your wits end, we are feeling sorry for you. Motherhood is great- it is the BEST THING IN THE WORLD- and you are missing it.
The comments that I read on this blog come from women who are selfish, don't realize the great responsibility motherhood is, and have my sympathy.
This cracks me up! Which is the point of this blog, and why I read it. If we can't laugh at our jobs as parents, we would cry. Humor is good for the soul, and I think when parents read this blog they think "phew, I'm not alone!"
Kelly: I love this line of yours!
"Because nobody really wants their kid to grow up to stand on a soapbox." Great!
And may I add to your list, "knowing his mother loves him." Raising your kids with strictly enforced boundaries doesn't mean you can't show any love towards them, David.
I'd rather be their mother than their friend. Life is tough and moms need to be tougher. And as for embarassing our kids... they do that themselves, and if we don't take time to find the humor in the most frustrating moments we'd lose heart pretty fast.
And I've got news for you, David: (As John Rosemond says) Children do not misbehave because they have issues with attachment and abandonment and day care and hovering mothers and too little sunlight exposure or whatever else you want to diagnose. Children misbehave because they are BAD. And it's the parent's job to rein in and mold that raw human nature into a productive and cooperative member of society. Dictators and sociapaths have high self esteem. This nation's greatest people were humble and self-made, and who gave their mothers great credit for making them so.
Dear David,
Have a couple kids. Come back to the blog in a few years and let's see what your response is then.
We will welcome you with open arms into the "meanest parent club!"
But Bonnie also doesn't seem to understand that a "mean" mom is a mom trying to be a good mom (like she is) but mean in the child's perspective. Oh well. You can't win them all.
Wow! It's great to know so many other "mean" moms exist! How horrible are we for wanting the best for our kids and then joke and laugh about it at the end of the day! We should all be ashamed of ourselves! (That was sarcasm, David, you should give it a try and stop taking yourself so seriously!)
i think that colleen olauglin is the stupidest thing in the whole world. she is dumb and stupid. she slaps people with wooden spoons and yells way to much at little things.
I feel so bad for David. I wish he (and Bonnie as well) could see the humor in some of the frustrating moments of motherhood. I love being a mom, as hard as it is. I hope I have learned the lesson of the day: Do not judge, lest ye tried and hanged over cyberspace.
I love Diva-Mom's response and I agree whole heartedly with her. I would dig deeper into David's letter and for whom he is attempting to write for. Clearly he is NOT a parent and when he is, I hope he reflects back on his insults and writes you another letter indicating he has revised his view on parenting and apologizes. Your children are not abused but are in fact, 'normal'. I don't think you have yet to write a tale I myself have not encountered in one form or another.
My thought when I read David's email (after I stopped laughing!) was that we are not embarrassing our children, they embarrass themselves. After all, it's not like we tell them to do these childish things and then stand back and point and laugh when the inevitable happens. It's just that we can see the humor in the situation
Dear David,
Please go read Erma Bombeck and then come back and file your book report. Please include your thoughts on sarcasm in the home and don't forget to join the raffle for one baby with your half pound of tea.
Reminds me of the recent Uma Thurman movie "Motherhood" when the mom in the park starts crying along with her toddler. Puleeeze. Somebody has to be the adult! And here's a clue...it's not the kid!
I thought journalists were meant to remain neutral, with the intention of bringing unbiased and objective journalism to the masses? Which website did David buy his journalist credentials from?
I am not a Mom, but I love your blog! I will be damned if (when I do have children), I bring up spoiled, entitled, "victims-of-life"-children. If saying no and not giving in to tantrums is what it takes to bring up hard-working and contributing members of society, then I am proud to be a "mean mom" in training.
Abby
Dear David-
Did your mom ever let you ride your bike without your helmet on? Because she is certainly not mean- but it also explains the apparent head trauma you are currently suffering from. Our kids think we are mean- but we just like them to eat healthy foods (something other than ice cream and Oreos) And if that is wrong- I don't wanna be freakin' right. So please, David. Do not reproduce. Because your "nice" parenting is going to really screw up any future spawn.
Thank you, the rest of the world.
I would like to know if David has any kids! It is SOOOO easy to judge someone when they don't have kids yet!!!
You ARE NOT a mean mom, regardless that your/our children perceive you/us that way.
I do know exactly the kind of mom he is referring to, the kind that brags openly about placing a duct tape over the minutes of a digital clock and not allowing children to leave their rooms when it still says 7.
I also never recall you embarassing your children "when they didn't start it!"
Have an awesome Mother's Day!!
Dear David,
Bwaaahaaaahaaaa!! That being said, obviously you have a mother. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. After you tell her you love her, ask her to truthfully answer a few questions about her day to day survival techniques while raising you. We all feel (felt) angst. Some of us just have a gift with words to relay those feelings. Others have wine!!
I love it when my mom makes fun of me. Everyone has to have a little give!
I may be the only guy to comment on this post but I am appalled that David would claim the title of "Journalist" and wear it as a badge of pride, when he can't even use propper grammer. How can He live with "himselves". Have a nice Life.
My husband and I are definitely MEAN parents. We expect our children to behave in public. Treat us and other adults as well as their peers with respect. We expect our children to follow the rules of society.
The only way to proper parent a child is to be mean. Otherwise you will have a horrible snotty, whiny child that acts out in grocery stores, wants you to buy them every little item, talks back, disrespects adults, are bullys, and are all around nasty brats.
We are the parent. Not the childs best friend. I have successfully raised one child to an adult with 3 more on their way. And I wouldn't change one thing!
Good luck in YOUR life David. I can't imagine you will go too far since you are such a judgemental jerk. Remember, no one likes bullys.
Oh and to BONNIE,
Not all of us 'mean' moms scream at our children. In fact I rarely ever even have to raise my voice. Why? Because my children know that when I simply say 'NO', or 'STOP' that I mean it. I never have to repeat myself.
Ask my kids if they know how much they are loved, and you will find that they think they are the most loved children in the world.
Stop judging other GOOD (mean)mothers, and the world in itself would be a better place.
If mothers didn't find the humor in mothering and let children feel the consequences of their choices, we would be crazy! and sometimes this makes us look mean. David, GET A LIFE!
This one stirred up a lot of responses! David takes himself far too seriously. He is obviously childless and possibly a eunic.
I described this blog to my husband of whom has 2 masters degrees and has in fact read your blog himself when I have found something amusing and felt he should get a good laugh too. When I told him a journalist doing 'research' decided to assault your blog and it's readers, my husband laughed out loud telling me it's always the one doing research that some how always knows what's best. ;) Sarcasm oozing from his words. He and I both came to the same conclusion... that Mr. Journalist does not yet have a 'family' to call his own and to find humor with in the antics of every day life that children provide. Today, my daughter (9) colored her brother with markers making leopard print designs head to toe. When that was completed they put an ace wrapped bandage in his pants and called it a tail. As they raced through the house chasing one another and screaming all I could wonder was... were those permanant markers? David - please don't be so quick to judge or jump on another 'writer'... let alone... 'a mother'. Become one or marry and make one and then we can perhaps have this chat again. ;)
David,
You grind my gears.
I'm pretty sure if you had found the LITERAL world's meanest mom in the eyes of all adults, and before the all-knowing one...you would have found she wouldn't have chosen to stay home with her kids although she has tertiary education; she wouldn't take time to carefully document their lives; and she certainly would not be finding humour in the common - so VERY common - "bad days" and embarrassing moments that come with being a parent.
Get a clue.
Gar.
P.S. You can find "literal" and "irony" in the dictionary - you should learn to distinguish between the two, it's a really handy knack for people in a literary field.
I really enjoyed this post and the comments. I actually read most of them. The second one (from someone named Jen) is so spot on and so dang funny I can't stop laughing.
This is my first time commenting and I just want to say that I love your blog and your sense of humor. I have 2 boys, 4 and 2 years old. I find it very difficult to be a stay at home mom but I am trying my best. Your blog (your attitude and sense of humor) has really helped me to laugh instead of cry when my toddler spills juice all over the floor when we are about to walk out the door and we are late for something (again!) So from one mom to another, thank you! Thank you for helping me get through another day.
I've been lurking for a year, and I've got to hand it to David. He's definitely convinced me that my parenting style (read: mean and underhanded) is exactly what I want. That is, if I want my kids to turn out NOT like David... :)
Poor David. How can a young man grow up without a basic understanding of sarcasm and humor? It's so odd and sad for him.
To David I simply say: Grow up. If you don't like reading a blog then don't read it. I'm a "Mean Mom" and proud of it. My children tell me how mean I am when I do horrible things to them such as make sure they take baths or showers daily, brush their teeth regularly, eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and veggies and don't permit them to have all the candy and ice cream they want. Poor kids to have such a mean mother like me. :P
I won't bash David, or other people, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
So, along those lines: Jana, you make me laugh and you clearly love your kids and are taking an interest in raising them well. Moms are entitled to an outlet, your blog seems to be that for you.
You have a talent and a hysterical wit. You always make me smile and I enjoy reading.
You have to love literal people. How is it that they are often the most shocked/outraged/offended too?
hehehe my husband's response whenever the kids say something like 'WHHHHHYYYY!?' is...
'because I'm the meanest dad in the world!'
they in turn respond, 'No youre not dad!'
Kids know the difference. They know we're teasing them and if they don't then they need some more lessons ::cracks knuckles::
In all seriousness... I'm the meanest mom because it keeps my sanity.
:)
I admit I am a mean mom. I tell my child to not put her feet on the table at restaurants and not eat nothing but candy for breakfast. I am a mean mom and proud of it
Apparently David doesn't have children. Or has never been around children. I think he'll have a rude awakening someday, and the awakening will be just as rude as he is. Karma is beautiful like that.
Your not a "MOM" until your child said your mean and hates you. Take it with pride! It means your doing your job right!! My kids have enough friends, and they need a mom!
Has David responded to any of this?
I too am a MEAN mom. My kids are great kids because of it.
Im not their parent to be their best friend. I am their parent to raise children into successful adults. Which I have done with one child and several more are on their way!
Hey David, I think you are completely out numbered here!
HAHAHA - the best comment is from Jillian - "maybe one of your children is posing as David...". Now THAT would be hilarious...
My father in law emailed me this Poem. I have no idea who wrote it, but I thought of your post and decided to share it with you, your readers, and especially DAVID!
My daughter came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon her face.
she decided she was smart enough,
To put me in my place.
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you u.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'
Mom's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was
To toss her out the door.
But the chance to teach her a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
she's messing with a pro.
Next day I took her shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told her, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D ...
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best.
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.
She asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?
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Dear David
I'm not a mean mom but i'm pretty sure i called myself a mean nanny many a time while i was watching the sweetest little boy. I was a mean nanny because i loved him, and because i loved him i set rules to teach him right from wrong. There were consequences if these rules were broken because if there weren't then he would have learned one thing and that is that he could do what ever he wanted, whenever he wanted to, and that was not the lesson i wanted to teach him.
I'm also thankful to say i was raised by a "mean mom" and i think she was the best mom ever. When i have kids of my own i'll be a mean mom and proud of it!
wow...I missed out on this one when it happened...lol! There will always be someone that finds the bad in everything and we can't change them...super sad...if only they could see they are the turd in the punch bowl...spoiling it for us all...or we can see that too and just stay away from the punch bowl and ignore them! ah...this was just so interesting to read and enjoyable!
I'm currently living in central Asia and I'm really thinking David must be from the same country... Because I was asked once if I gave my kids ice cream. My response wad something like "yes but not whenever they ask for it." I wasn't called a mean mom for this. No. I was called a "bad mom."
i'm a mean mom, because i say no to cookies and candy. i am a horrible person, who should be ashamed of withholding these things from my children. ;)
I bet David is a Liberal...
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Sometimes "being mean" is a euphemism for "I love you," David...
I will always love my mom for being mean!
And by the way, have a nice life.
So I know you wrote this years ago, but I just came across your blog and can't stop reading it. My son is only 13 months old, so we haven't had the opportunity to really start being "mean," but my husband and I like to lay in bed at night and think of creative ways to teach him lessons. I don't think David would approve of most of them. Since reading your blog I have added some new strategies to my list. I can't wait to use them.
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