June 15, 2010

We Sold Our House!

It went under contract late last week. A young couple shopping for their first home came to see it on Thursday night and made a solid offer on Friday morning.

Needless to say, we were ecstatic. The couple was itching to move forward so we were more than supportive of their decision to have the home inspection on Saturday.

Yesterday afternoon, our realtor Candy called us with the results. "The good news," she told us, "Is that the home inspector didn't find anything big." On the list of suggested repairs was a new dryer vent, two GFCI outlets, and a cracked piece of siding the size of a quarter.

"What's the bad news?" I asked.

Candy said that she would email over a complete list of things for which the buyers wanted credit.

I opened the email in the presence of three neighbors.

"They want you to put a third egress window in the basement!" shrieked Helen-Marie, falling out of her chair in disbelief. Only one is required by law.

"And granite counter tops in the kitchen?" barked Sandy. Right now they're Corian. Granted they are forest green Corian (not my choice...the counter tops were there when we moved in), but still.

"They also want a new roof, a new driveway, new windows, and stainless steel appliances!" I added, scrolling down. By the time that we reached the end of the list, we were laughing so hard that we were crying.

The only thing that the buyers didn't ask for was swimming pool and a pony stable.

"Ask them if they'd like their new driveway paved in gold," suggested Helen Marie.

Since nothing that the buyers requested was on the inspection report, my husband and I ended up sending them a copy of our home disclosure with the date that the home was built circled in red. We also returned their earnest money. Clearly, the buyers did not realize that old houses have old things inside them.

"I can't believe you let them off," another friend told me this afternoon.
"They're new at this," I replied. "This is their first house."
"You're very nice," my friend said.

My friend does not know me that well.

I'm not that nice. It's taking all the willpower I can muster at the moment to resisting posting the buyers' names and photographs (thank you Facebook!) on this blog.

62 comments

Jamie said...

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.. Great story. It's a shame it's rooted in truth!

Anonymous said...

love it! good luck...

Vicky said...

TOO FUNNY!!!

reen said...

Can't tell you how many times I read your blog and think to myself "Are you serious???" Surely you're not serious!

Cheryl said...

That's hysterical. Seriously. Seriously? OMG.

BTW, I would love to have all those things at my house too!

wi said...

When we sold our first house, the buyers put in a FULL PRICE OFFER and then wanted us to replace ALL the ceilings with drywall due to two patches of peeling paint. IDIOTS! Ended up buying the house with the old plaster ceilings.....I guess it can't hurt to ask.

Stephanie said...

Gosh, I'd love to know what people would ask us to do about this house. It was built in the fifties and started out lime green!! I mean, I know it's a "buyer's market", but really?? Asking for all that stuff? Did their realtor put them up to it?

the thrifty ba said...

classic!

Karen Mortensen said...

This is true? They went ahead and bought it anyway? Crazy.

CountessLaurie said...

What?? You can ask for this stuff? I've been screwed! I got laminate countertops... I should have held out for italian marble...

Nolie said...

OMG! That is hilarious. Crappy that the offer fell through cause they are crazy but hilarious that not only did they have the nerve to request all that. But their agent didn't even try to talk sense into them and actually submitted their offer for them.

Shannon said...

If the house had all those things, maybe you all wouldn't be interested in selling! People are crazy!

Tracita Linda (Tracey) said...

You have not because you ask not. They have no shame, at least. lol

Jo's girl said...

someone has been watching WAY to much reality home maker shows. really people? note to new buyers if it doesn't come with stainless steel appliances guess who can put them in?... YOU imagine that.
i feel for ya. we just sold our old house and I'm talken built in 1949. we would have loved to fixed the plumbing, the roof, knock out a few walls and put in another bathroom, but we couldn't afford to do it when we lived there we sure as heck are not going to do it for strangers.

agent99 said...

I was about to tell you I hated you.....because my house has been on the market since before yours, and all I have to show for it is an offer (expired) for $100K under asking. That would be AFTER I reduced in $25K.
Now I just want to have a drink, are you in?

Anna said...

I definitely think HGTV has some first time buyers a little high in the clouds.... That stinks though. Hang in there!

annie said...

Geez - I should have asked for more when I bought my house - the old owners didn't even clean anything out!

Anonymous said...

Since they wanted the stuff redone, they didn't specify colors or what you had to pay for it. I would have had the siding repair done with the orange siding I saw in the store today and the countertops whatever was the ugliest most "economical choice" be careful what you ask for as you would have done as they chose and they by law would either have been stuck with the purchase or loss of earnest monies.

Paula said...

Wow, you are nicer than we would have been! We're still in our first house and this story makes me dread selling in a few years!

AND we put in deep green granite...which I'm sure no one else will love. Oh well, at least I've got the stainless down :)

Mary said...

I would say hysterical but I work in real estate (but not as an agent) and I hear/see stories about idiots like this all the time! Good idea to send them on their way!

lisha said...

We are getting ready to buy our first house this summer...I hope I am not a stupid idiot when I put an offer on a house. Thanks for the warning post.

Samurai Mom said...

I was going to comment about how much I hate you because you sold your house and we haven't still.....But then I read the post.

I don't hate you any more. I feel your pain.

One day those people will sell a house and get karma.

Amy said...

With our first house we just asked to have the wood behind the kick plate by the front door replaced because it was rotten. And at the time I was so worried that I was being annoying. Man, I just didn't know what to ask for I guess. Hilarious.

Breezi@ Not Your Average Fairytale said...

I love your stories. You make me laugh so flippin hard.
Just think- It's because of weirdies like these people that you had yet another witty post. :D
Keep up the good work.

Natalie said...

We sold our 1st home back in 1991. The guy offered us 10k less & wanted us to leave a bunch of appliances. We said "NO". He came back a month or 2 later & we got our asking price & we took our appliances with us :)
People today want everything handed/given to them!!!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Maybe they thought they had some leverage, given the "poop in the toilet" incident? :)

Queen of the Universe said...

You could just slip their facebook link right here, into the comments section. They would never know.

Sarah said...

They truly are idiots. When my husband and I were shopping for our first home, we knew better. They must come from a very "special" place.

Heather said...

I am glad you managed to find some humor in the situation. I can't believe their realtor let them list that stuff.
UHG.
Better luck next time.

Donna said...

Oh to be young and innocent and naive.

etiquette bitch said...

omg, laughing *again*. Were you able to keep them as buyers?

It is amazing to me that in this crappy market, buyers are being *insulting.* and ridiculous. and unrealistic.

We just went through something similar. Our condo didn't sell, so we sought renters. Within 1 week we had a couple with a baby (and a dog -- over our weight limit, but we allowed it) who wrote a check right away. But before we could pull credit, they submitted their "terms" -- 11 month lease, wanted US to repaint everything (1700 sf w/ 10ft ceilings) to make their child comfortable, and install child locks on all of our new, cherrywood cabinets. Um, no.

When we said "no" (we're already letting you have the big dog!) they rescinded their app., saying they didn't want to rent "from such an unreasonable landlord." Har!

Cheers on selling your house. Please send the good karma my way! xx.

Jennifer said...

Attn ALL HOME BUYERS: A white fridge keeps things just as cold as a SS one and a laminate counter top holds plates up just as well as granite. People need to get with reality.

Sants said...

Oh I feel and applaud your restraint! I went through the same thing when we put in a bunch of improvements to for the buyers of our house and then they bailed on the contract. I.was.furious.

Snaps to you (and me) for the self control. The only thing that kept me strong was belief that kharma will kick your butt, given the chance.

bethany said...

Geez, our first house didn't even have a working water heater or pipes under the sink! And the previous owners used one of the bedrooms as a littler box. Why in the world would we buy such a dump? It was all we could afford - so we re-did the whole house ourselves and it was totally worth it!

beangirl said...

Next time I buy a house I am TOTALLY asking for a new masterbedroom addition, a fusion-powered stove and a 20 year old pool boy to clean my new pool.

I'd settle for the 20 year old pool boy.

AlsoMean said...

Our buyers wanted lots of remediation in the crawl space (um a dirt floor is normal in a crawl space) and asked that we tear down the garden shed in the back.

My Realtor reported that her husband read that and immediately shouted "We are NOT tearing down the shed!" Everyone was in agreement, so nice.

It's important to have a wish list, and then negotiate from there, but really, wow.

After they bought it, they did tear it down. I know because Google maps has a nice aerial photo.

Jessica T said...

Ha ha - as one of many people right now with a house on the market and it's not moving - I can really appreciate this. Sorry it didn't work out though, I know how disappointing that can be. Especially when you get your hopes up!! Good luck to you, I hope the next one is much better!

MrsDixon said...

How ridiculous!!

Melanie said...

Seriously? Was their realtor on drugs?!? Who asks for that kind of stuff?

Anonymous said...

So glad I'm not the only one! We were selling our 3rd house in ~12 yrs. We installed reclaimed wood floors, marble tile and granite counter tops prior. FSBO, on the market for 6 1/2 weeks. Great! Their offer, insulting @ $15k below + closing costs. We agreeded to $10k below + closing costs. After inspection, only about $300 in repairs because we did much of it ourselves. 3 days before closing, we call & find out their lender is searching for another co-borrower. They wrote off 8k in expenses for taxes. That brought what they were now approved for down by 70k. We were moving out of state in 7 days. They went through 3 potential co-borrowers all of which backed out. We offered a lease purchase. They wanted to do it w/ no $ down. Needless to say it didn't get sold to them and they are demanding their earnest $ back. :) If they just reported their actual income and paid taxes on all of it vs. getting paid under the table then it woudln't be an issue. Enjoy it and the humor in it!

craftyashley said...

That is insane! Inspections are to make sure the house will not simply fall over from termites or catch on fire because of bad wiring!

I would not have been as nice- I would have held them to the contract!
I can't believe their agent thought that was a good idea!

Luvily said...

You've got to be kidding. Really? Insane! And their realtor thought this was acceptable? Bizarre! Thanks for sharing and making us laugh over here!!!!

Kathy said...

Credit for granite countertops and stainless steel appliances??? Not the same thing as credit for broken windows, missing toilets, etc. Wow! I'm dying, that is so funny!!

AK said...

haha....I totally facebook all the weirdos we encouter ;)

Mal said...

Oh my...my husband and I are pretty young, so we've never had a house of our own, but anyone who has ever seen any of the shows on HGTV knows such things are laughable.

Or maybe it's just the fact I've lived in old, rented houses that people don't mind renting out to large families all my life. Huh...

Katie said...

Your neighbor sounds hilarious too! Thanks for the laugh..I needed that :)

Lori said...

I almost backed out of buying my first house when the HVAV unit would not stay on. I had 2 inspectors and 3 different heating and air companys try to fix it and it still wouldn't work. The sellers swore it worked and would not even buy a warrenty. I threatened to take them to court for all MY money back that went into that unit and they finally agreed. Now that is all I asked for. I even bought my own white stove.

Kourtney said...

We just bought our first house and after reading this, I'm tempted to never sell it! I'm thinking it must be more of a headache to sell a home than it is to buy one. (And that's really sayin' something!)

etiquette B* said...

hey, this is a shout out to TMM and everyone sharing selling tales-of-woe: thank you. it's nice to know that it's not just me, and we're not alone.

good vibes to you all.

sierra said...

OOOOh my! Well, if you're not nice, you are certainly the most self-restrained person on the Main Line.
Hopefully the next offer will come from a slightly more home-buying-experienced couple.

Rocket Ma'am said...

Well, we all start out in life a little idealistic...
In selling our last house, one consistant comment was that it was too small, which seems to be common thing these days. My (final) realtor started telling people as she unlocked the front door that our family of 7 just hated leaving the house behind. The size complaints dropped to zero.
Thanks for the laugh and for making me feel lucky about our last house selling episode. Hang in there, reasonable people will eventually show up. Or those people will come crawling back after getting the same treatment from other sellers.

Emily said...

The good news is that your house had a great inspection...on their dime.
And if it works anything like Oregon, that inspection is disclosed to any other potential owners, so they will be able to see that there is nothing wrong...and possibly choose not to have another inspection. (which would save them $$$)
Selling a house these days is quite the adventure.
Check out these posts meant to make you feel better:
http://photosandcoffee.blogspot.com/2009/03/and-rollercoaster-continues.html
and
http://photosandcoffee.blogspot.com/search/label/Selling%20Our%20House

We finally did sell our house, btw! :)

Stacy said...

wow! we just had an offer fall through, as well. the buyers wanted ALL our furniture, decor, rugs, wall hangings, etc. No, really, it's true. they said we could keep our clothes. we said they could keep their money.

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Cindy said...

Wow. Can you say self-entitled?

Lindsay said...

We've been selling our house since February and has had 3 buyers. First said his truck wouldn't fit the garage, Second family didn't qualify for their loan, and the Third was offering on multiple houses to see which deal they like best. Good thing we have a buy out as a back up but we are the proud owners of two homes for now.

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