July 12, 2010

The Urinator and the Toddler Potty

Friday morning I pulled out the potty and put it in the middle of my living room, just to see if it would generate any interest.

It did.

Friday afternoon, I caught someone going to the bathroom in the potty. Unfortunately that someone was not my toddler.

"What's the big deal?" my six-year-old son asked when he saw the steam coming out of my ears. "It's just a toilet."

"What would possess you to do that?" I wanted to know.

The urinator shrugged his shoulders. The urinator's brother told me to look on the bright side: at least all the urine made it into the toilet. The urinator's sister pointed out the unfairness of the whole situation.

"How come Cameron gets his own potty and we don't?" she sneered.

This question prompted me to take a second look at the contents of the potty.

I counted to ten eleven times and took deep breaths until the urinator wondered out loud if he should call 911.

"How many of you peed in there?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Three hands shot up.

****
Please tell me I am not the only one. Please.

48 comments

Parenting Ink said...

I bleached and donated my plastic potty chair and told my 2 year-old to pull up a stool to the big potty. This was after several incidents of finding the plastic potty in my 5 year-old's bedroom. I tell you, there's nothing more exciting than when your toddler finally uses the potty, and nothing as disgusting as cleaning out 5 year-old poop from that potty!
You are not alone.

Emily Heizer Photography said...

GROSS!!!!

I very vividly remember being 4 or 5 years old and trying to pass a toot in the bathtub in my parents fancy new master bath.

Turned out not to be a toot.

Gina said...

You are not the only one.

I am potty training a 2 year old and his 4 year old brother thinks the tickets to getting treats is to pee in the little potty. Because he never gets treats for peeing in the big potty.

You are SO not alone.

Lisa said...

Got rid of the potty chair after I realized it was really just a pint sized bedpan and I was expected to clean it. No thanks! We got one of those adapter seats for the "big potty" (aka Real Toilet that flushes!) and they all learned perfectly well on that.

Oh, and by numbers four and five, potty treats for anyone who got the trainee to the toilet and elicited a successful response... Spread the joy!!

girlnblack77 said...

Hey. At least it was your kids' urine. I was potty-training my younger child (almost 2) and had succeeded in keeping our older child (3) away from the potty seat. The hubbie invited the new neighbors over for dinner, and they showed up with a baby, a five-year-old, and a ten-year-old. Want to guess which one decided it would be cute to use the potty chair to poo?

vanilla said...

Lordy, I'm glad my kiddos were all raised back in the Dark Ages.

Bwaahaha.

FabuLeslie said...

The only potty training I've ever done is throwing a dog outside after coming home and letting her out of her crate. As an 8-month-old puppy, she was an outside urinator only. I have no idea how to deal with kids in my home. You guys who do are my heroes. I can only handle them for 7 hours a day and then I love it when they go back HOME.

Jes said...

When we were trying to potty train my daughter, she was given a couple of the dolls that you give water and then you sit it on its own potty seat and it pees. After she had been potty trained for a while, she decided to go in the doll's potty seat. As I'm sure you can imagine, being for a doll they don't hold very much. I might not have even minded as much if she hadn't been at Grandma's house on carpet. You can bet those doll potties found their way right to the garbage can.

sivab said...

I went to empty mine once and it was to the BRIM with urine.

Dazee Dreamer said...

toooooooo freaking funny. You were very brave to even put it in the living room

Shell said...

I'm scared that this is going to happen here. I have a 5, 4, and 2 year-old. With my older two, I waited until they were three and went right to the big potty. My little one is showing interest in pt'ing, but he's just so LITTLE that I can't see him using the big potty. But, if i end up having the older two use it, too, I will throw up.

Russ and Em said...

Sorry to say I laughed so hard I'm crying. This sounds like my family growing up. (Me being the one who insists on fairness.)

Sants said...

I quit using those after the second kid. It always made me gag to empty the contents.

With my last kid I paid the older sister $100 to potty train. It was the best money I have EVER spent!

craftyashley said...

I'm pretty sure I will be singing that same sad song when my twins are done potty training, and my youngest comes up to bat. I'm not looking forward to it.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I would love a potty in my living room. I mean, we can rewind shows with DVR and everything, but sometimes I just don't feel like walking the twenty feet to the bathroom. .

Vicky said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, never had THAT problem! With our twins only 4 and our other children in their 20's, I believe I'd be quite concerned if they came home and that happened! Thanks for the laugh!

Sarah said...

After training my own three and then hearing about my sister-in-law whose child was trained at daycare, I decided that if we ever had any future beebles I would have no problem sending them away to "potty camp", figure I've paid my dues:)

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen Mortensen said...

I am sorry. I just have to laugh a lot. This was great.

melanie said...

This just made me bust out in laughter and the comments people are leaving are killing me! We have that exact same potty! And it is currently in use. And yes, I have to work really hard to keep the older siblings from succumbing to the charms of the little potty. I love the idea of paying off the older kids to help. I am going to try that right now . . .

KB said...

Eeeew, those just gross me right out. Tried it with the oldest, was revolted, got rid of it, and subsequently used the potty seat and a stepstool along with the big FLUSHING toilet.

Having a home daycare, I've also trained many more along with my own trio, and nothing struck fear into my heart quite as much as the parent who arrived dragging one of those nasty things along with them. EEEEEEWWWWW!!! It's bad enough cleaning up after someone else's kid in the REGULAR bathroom, no way I'm dealing with a plastic pot full of it!

Allison said...

Fortunately, my older children never used the little potty while the youngest was being trained. To my knowledge. Oh, man. But hey, what you don't know can't hurt you, right?

But I do vividly remember showing up at a friend's house one day only to have her little brother announce at the door, "K peed in a cup and it overflowed!" Did we learn anything from this experience? No. We all tried it. They were small cups. I pity her mother for that day.

Miss Ellaneous said...

At least your kids aren't pooping in the yard like my friend's kid. What would the neighbors say?

Michelle said...

We have that potty at our house. I trained the first three with it. It disgusted me to no end. Number 4 will be waiting until her little tush is big enough to use an insert for the regular toilet. I don't care if she's 5 when it happens (she's a tiny little thing.) No way am I risking an incident like that one - knowing my three big ones, they'd think it was a great idea!

mama loquita said...

You are hilarious! I love it. Your kids are like guinea pigs, you really test THEIR boundaries! I would never leave the little potty unattended in the living room...My boys pee just about anywhere they can, so the little potty in the living room would be no exception. I am not sure how I am going to handle potty training when my little girl is ready for it, maybe I'll have to skip the little potty altogether or pay the boys to train her and then they will surely not want to clean up their own little potty mess!

Cathryn said...

When my oldest was 4 we visited a friend who had a 4 yo and a toddler and she had just washed out her potty seat and put it on the back porch to dry in the sun.
The kids were playing outside and when it was time to go we went out back to find a dark stream flowing from under the potty chair and across the concrete patio.

"Who peed in the potty chair?" We demanded.
---Blank stares from the three kiddos---
So I walked over to pick it up and found a pump BRIGHT GREEN turd hidden under the potty chair!!!

Immediately I knew who the turd-dumper was---you see, it was March 18th, the day before was St. Patricks day and the pre-school my daughter went to served the kids green mashed potatoes, green scrambled eggs, green juice, green everything-- well, you get the idea!

Twincerely,Olga said...

you made me laugh so hard!!That is hard to do right now!!
Kids do the dardest things!!:)

Nikki said...

So here's one for you:

I work in a small retail store with one potty. The sink in our bathroom had a slight leak and while waiting for the plumber to come we put a clear bin underneath it to catch the dripping water...Guess where I'm headed yet??...yep a DAD and his 3 boys decided that the bin under the sink would make a much better toilet - everyone got to go at once!! Best part: I know all this b/c they left the bathroom door open.

Steph, from Be Positive Mom! said...

Hilarious! Did all the siblings pitching in get your toddler interested? Maybe they can help you out with the training.... potty training has been the toughest challenge for me, by far!

Hang in there!

Mal said...

I only remember my mother having a baby potty for one of my five younger siblings. I think I have just learned why...

missamandadear said...

Wow. The comments on this are worthy of their own blog post. :) I think that involving the older siblings and rewarding them if they succeed is an AWESOME idea. I'll have to keep it in mind, when my infant is old enough to potty train.

Also, I don't have a girl, but if I ever do, I'll have to remember that doll potties can be BAD news.

My three year-old still uses a potty chair. He's fully capable of using the "big potty", because he does so in public and at relative's homes. However, he prefers it at home. I have no qualms about it either because he dumps it in the toilet himself and uses the water from the flush to rinse it out (I don't know who taught him that last part). It only occasionally needs a good washing.

Corrine said...

We put the training potty in a little-used bathroom as a step stool for kids to wash their hands. Some little darling had used it and I didn't realize for days. Never again will we have one in the house! Shortly after potty training my little girl, we found out about this toilet seat with a built in child's seat. Next time we will know better!
http://www.chicagofaucetshoppe.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=BEM%2D546CH

Momlissa said...

lol, no you're not the only one. My 5 yr old girl loves to use the potty chair as well.

Anonymous said...

LMAO! A friend sent me the link to this blog post because she knows my youngest is potty-training right now. And with my kids and the nutty things they think up I can see this happening. Bad enough that my girls are so fascinated with watching little brother stand up to pee... one of them is going to get shot in the face soon, I'm sure!

Sandra said...

OMG I have to be quiet, my entire family is sleeping, but that post was so funny!!!

Erin said...

Okay that so cracked me up! I am laughing so hard I am crying! I hope it generates the "right audience" soon!

Amy said...

All I can say is that at least they chose the potty chair. My 5 year old daughter and her cousin decided that a laundry basket would do just fine. Have you ever tried to dump out pee and poo from a laundry basket with all the slats in the sides? Not fun.

Toshia said...

My mom has a potty chair at her house for when my son is over...little did we know that my 6 yr old sister would be more interested in using it! She said her goal was to see how long it would take to fill it up-G.R.O.S.S.

Angie said...

At least potty training is "fun" at your house? Fun for me anyway.

Maureen Loves Avon! said...

Oh my goodness...you had me laughing uncontrollably!! That had to have been the funniest story I have read in a long time. Thank you for the wonderful humor you placed in your family adventure story.

Anonymous said...

My kids are all grown up now, the highlight of teaching my youngest of four boys to use the big poy toilet was all four of them standing round peeing at the same time. We gave up on bath mats of any description.

Syddall Family said...

Nope, you are not alone...I made the mistake of putting mine in the garage after my now three old had graduated to the toilet. After about a week I noticed an odd smell whenever I went into the garage. I followed said smell and ended up at the toddler toilet. I was leary, I didn't want to open the lid but lets face it I am the adult here right??? Well come to find out my older son who is 7 and his group of 7 boys had been using the toddler toilet for days now. I gagged.....

MissMel said...

Dear Jana,
I love you for making my day always.
Melonie

jellybean said...

get a stool, and then have your older kids "celebrate with Cameron" if he successfully goes in a potty. (everyone gets 2 jellybeans!) My 3 year-year-old practically trained his 2-year-old brother this way....he took his brother to the toilet every 10 minutes

Katie said...

Our firstborn is the only one who got to use it. I was over cleaning out the darn thing...disgusting!

brenda in seattle said...

No plastic potty stories here but when I was 7, or so, I thought it might be interesting to pee in my Cabbage Patch Kid Doll's disposable diaper. I guess I thought it was fun until my mom found it in the garbage can. She was less than pleased.

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Once Upon a Potty said...

What a delightful thread! I love it!! And this from a smart Dad who just happens to be one of the top global toilet learning experts, courtesy of my mom having written & illustrated ONCE UPON A POTTY for my brother in the mid-'70's.. Train on, and stress not: they'll be out of training pants by college!

Cheers, Ari Frankel
www.slice.bz
www.childmattersmedia.com