September 23, 2010

Soccer Practice


"I love playing soccer."

This is what my kids tell everyone they meet.

If this is true, they have a funny way of showing it.

Preparing for soccer practice is like shopping with coupons at the grocery store: it takes an inordinate amount of time and it's generally unappreciated.

An hour before soccer practice is scheduled to start, everyone's shin guards mysteriously go missing. Cortlen can't find one of his cleats and it's my fault that Camber cut her own bangs and now they're too short to fit into a ponytail.

Thanks to a series of major and minor miracles, we made it to soccer practice on time today. Everyone got out of the car pretty much on their own, except for one of my boys, who crawled into the back seat and started speaking in tongues.

"What's up dude?" I asked.

"I can't tie my shoes!" he cried.

I told him that it's my job to solve problems of this magnitude.

He sat sullenly, armed crossed over his chest, as I tied the laces. Immediately after I was done, he ripped the shoes off again.

"You didn't tie them tight enough!" he wailed. "You never tie them tight enough! Agh!"

He spent the next five minutes crying foul over my unwillingness to retie them. It was only after his coach penalized his tardiness with two laps around the field that my son remembered how to tie his own shoes.

"This is the worst day of my life!" he cried as he passed me on his first loop.

At the end of his second loop, he stopped in front of my lawn chair.

"Can you please retie my shoes?" he asked politely. "They're too tight."

22 comments

Kim Walus said...

My likely response would've been, "You're killing me, dude!" lol.

Those were the days and now I get to go to my grandsons soccer games. The last one is this weekend.

It's so much fun being on the other side now. Looking for soccer and other sports gear was always painfully painful!!!!

Xaleyn said...

Unfortunately, for my mother, that was me when I was little.

Kristine said...

my 5yo girl tells me at least every other day that I have ruined her life. I hope to keep at that pace for the next 13 years.

The Bus Driver said...

Its amazing how running changes things with children. I'm a big advocate for sending a child on a walk to calm themselves down. Heck, i got sent on a few "walks" myself.

Emily Heizer Photography said...

I would have lifted my sunglasses ever so slightly and said, "Shouldn't you be asking your mother that?" and then returned to my book and/or nap and/or bon bons.

Kelly said...

That totally cracks me up!

Just Plain Tired said...

If we all could only have this be "the worst day of my life" in our lives. ;) My daughter played soccer from the age of 5 and still plays in college. Never got the "worst day of my life" line from her though.

Shawn said...

I love that you're another "tough Love" Mommy.

Lesson taught and learned!

Christine said...

I love the "worst day of my life comment", it's come from my daughter more than once for little things. Everytime I think to myself (You think THIS is the worst day of your life. Girl you haven't lived long enough yet.) Just wait...

That Kind Of Girl said...

This is delightful.

Another Piece Of Chocolate said...

Ha!!! Thanks so much. I look forward to every one of your posts. You always brighten my day!

Gina said...

So, most of that story would be infuriating, but when he came up and asked "please" I would melt. It's so cute when they learn their lesson. I don't know why...maybe because it justifies all the work we've done?

vanilla said...

Kids. Ya gotta lo...
wer the boom on 'em. And you do it so well!

Julie said...

Can I just say...I hate soccer practice. The getting ready part is the WORST!!! Oh yeah lets not forget sitting there for 2 hours watching. Great use of my time.

AlsoMean said...

I could really use a selection of snappy comebacks to "This is the worst day of/You have ruined my life"....because I told someone to brush teeth or put on shoes before going to school....

Jen said...

That's my life but with hockey gear. So much hockey gear to put on too tight or too loose. Glad I'm not alone.

Cathryn said...

LOL--So typical of parenting! and it doesn't end either--my 23 yr old daughter just told me of an epiphany she had and credited everyone else in the world --except me--for helping her see this pivotal need in her life. deep sigh.

Teen Queen said...

haha-little kids r so funny. i can say from personal experience-it'll just get worse. especially around 8. from there u go steadily downhill until about 13.

I'm just a girl said...

Oh boy... I know I will be there in a couple of years with my kiddos.

Once I made the mistake of complaining my basketball shoes weren't cool enough and my mom made me get (and wear) a pair of velcro strap shoes! I haven't complained to her since then.

Cardalls said...

OH.MY.LIFE. this is exactly what happened to me last soccer practie except it was getting the stinking shin guards and soccer socks on that inspired our hissy fit. i love soccer...not!

BittyKitty said...

Thank you for this post! I felt like I was the only parent who had to go through this with my son. He can be very trying when we're getting ready to go somewhere. The funny thing is my 3yr old daughter would love to play soccer but she is too young this year. She even gets herself ready before practice.

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