February 14, 2011

Rejected



Last night, our kids stayed up until 9pm (the middle of the night for them) to watch the Duke v. Miami basketball game on television.

Today we had a very happy Valentine's Day.

"I hate my family," announced Cortlen at the breakfast table as he rubbed his eyes.

"Just wait until your thirteen," I replied. "Then you'll really love us."

I made cupcakes for Kellen's class party. I packed the leftovers in my kids' lunch boxes.

"How did each of you like your cupcake?" I asked when they got home.

"What cupcake?" barked Cortlen. He still hated his family.

My husband and I decided to give each of our kids valentines this year. Tim gave one to Camber. I made the boys' cards and put them on their beds.

"Where's my freaking valentine?" Cortlen screamed, just ten minutes ago.

"Watch your mouth," I warned. It took awhile, but Cortlen eventually found his valentine on top of his pillow, right where I had left it.

"Let me see your valentine," he snapped, snatching the card out of Kellen's hand.

His theory turned out to be false: I had not put a $10 bill in his brother's card and not his.

"When you are tired, you feel persecuted," I said simply and told him to go brush his teeth. It was time for my valentine to go to bed.

"You feel persecuted!" she shot back instinctively. That's when I realized that he didn't know what the term 'persecuted' meant. I turned off the light in his bedroom.

"My family is evil!" he screamed as I shut the door.

Two minutes later, he was fast asleep.

I just found this outside his door:




It's the card I gave him. Awww. How sweet.

59 comments

Anonymous said...

awww.... so sorry. hope the rest of the day went better.

Can't believe I'm first! Love your blog

Stephanie - Little Happys

Catherine Dabels said...

This is a tragic, heartbreaking Valentine story. One of those moments when you want to lean in real close to their ear and curse them, in an evil whisper, that they get a child just like them when they grow up.

Children are so lovely. Happy valentines day.

Jack & Danielle Monroe said...

When my son is tired and emotional he looks for something to tear up. Oh, well. Better luck next year.

Beth said...

That's why I'm glad mine don't talk yet. Thank you for reminding me to cherish babyhood, even when I am up at 3am feeding her yet again....

raisingmarshmallows said...

Days like that are my favorite...

Nikki

Kristi E said...

Thank you for being so blatantly honest about your family and children... it's nice to know that I am not the only person with beautiful yet sometimes evil and vengeful children...

I have just found your blog and am loving the reading!

samantha said...

How pathetically sad for him.

Some things just can't be fixed with a store-bought Valentine that is given on one 'special day'; especially those of a child's heart.

Amy said...

Good for you, I don't think that just because it is valentines day, kids should get gifts or money. Other than exchanging cards and candy at school, all I remember from my youth is my parents letting me eat a few extra pieces of chocolate that I got in class. What next? Kids will expecta crisp $20 for St. Patrick's day?

Beth said...

So sweet. ha,ha

edith said...

Sometimes I think our families were separated at birth.

Becca said...

You're my hero, Jana.

Chris and Tani Bree said...

That poor kid! At least you tried right? He'll lread this someday, laugh, and then appreciate your effort, and then apologize (most likely).

Lolee said...

Next year, leave the kids to fend for their own valentines and get yourself an extra box of chocolates!

Mandy and Alex said...

:(

TORI said...

I feel your pain... I hope tomorrow is better. {{{group mom hug}}}

myevil3yearold said...

You just gotta laugh.... so you don't cry.

UtahMillers said...

Absolutely hilarious! I'm sure I can look forward to the same treatment when my toddler is a bit bigger. Oh the joy.

meghannamarie said...

I wonder if he will even remember this tomorrow? I hate it when you try so hard to be the "good" mom and you just get beat up along the way! I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Hope said...

I'm so sorry, but I had to laugh out loud...it will be funny in hindsight but if I had done that to my parents they would have spanked me..ha!

Persecuted..hahaha!

Jackie said...

Yeah I get it.

I spent all day making fun meals for my kids, breakfast was scrambled eggs with a heart made out of ketchup, lunch pb&j cut into a heart and strawberries, and for supper I got Chinese food as an extra special treat.

Then I made my 9 year old do his spelling words and he says to me "this is the worst day ever!" Yeah...I can see how that's possible...not.

After a swift talking to and grounding him to his room for the night, he apologized. Sometimes sleep fixes everything. Hope your day is better tomorrow!

And my word verification was "shett" seems appropriate. :)

Anonymous said...

what horrendous brats. evil hellions.

Em said...

Ah, I feel your pain. My 11-year-old thinks she has the worst life and threw a similar fit today. I just bought her brand new $50 boots she wanted, and she threw a fit because the brown color wasn't "dark enough". So, I promptly returned them and I'm NOT getting her another pair!
Thanks for keepin' it real....

Jack said...

Tonight we took our kids around the neighborhood to give cookies to all their primary teachers--we have five and they each have two teachers so it took a while. Yeah, by the end of our trip I wasn't feelin' the love much--more like ready to rip out my hair because they were either fighting or going crazy most of the time n the car--why can't they just work themselves into our fantasy visions of happiness that we create when we try to do these cheesy family things?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

My DD is now 21 and my valentine was an early morning text - on her day off so I should be impressed. And I was.

I remember those days when the world seemed harsh and wrong and out to get me. Wait - that was last Wednesday. I arrived at Curves after running errands after a full day of work. Went into the change room. Decided I had just enough energy left to either a) change out of the many layers of work clothes into gym clothes or b) actually do the circuit.

Did you know that you can effectively do a Curves circuit while wearing tights, stretch denim skirt, shirt, vest and runners? Well, you can.

And then I slept.

The world truly is better when you have enough sleep.

Jensamom23 said...

I am sure sleep will restore the loving child today...I hope.

kmcaffee said...

I'm sorry, I love this! I have 4 monsters and the eldest is 12. We are in the throes of some serious pre-teen angst here! All day I cleaned and cooked and decorated to make the day special and what I wanted at the end was for him to pose with me for a picture. He would NOT do it. Flat out refused and then had a major fit and was sent to his room because *I* was disappointed. The NERVE of me! 10 minutes after he was sent to his room, he was fast asleep. Happy Valentine's Day to Mommies!! <3

Bear and Bones Mama said...

Ah yes, family fun. I love days like this. If my kids stayed up that late we'd have the same kind of day. We're "those parents" who would rather leave a party, dragging our kicking and screaming boys, than get them to bed late. It's way easier to deal with the night time stuff than the whole day of hatred that will follow.

The Keeper said...

My heart broke for you when I read this... I wished for the moment I could just give you an understanding Mom's hug... and a pat on your shoulder, slip you a martini and a box of chocolates.

Children don't always understand their actions... nor our own.

For about a week once upon a time, I would grab my then nine year old daughter and kiss her on the cheek... while wearing the brightest most vivid red lip stick that would not come off even with a good washing.

My daughter had finally had it with me and she had a fit to be tied.

I had no idea that my kissing her with the lipstick like this was really ticking her off beyond reason... so I promptly apologized, hugged my angry little tyrant and promptly plunged the lip stick into the trash. As proof to my daughter I would never do that to her again...

This made her fillet even further into a tantrum and rage.

"DON'T THROW IT AWAY MOMMY, IT'S YOUR FAVORITE LIP STICK!!!" I tried to convey to her that it was not in fact my favorite as she began lunging through trash to retrieve it.

The guilt she felt over how she had reacted to me was tremendous and the guilt I felt over how she too, reacted me, felt tremendous.

By the time we were done, we had both been crying...

Parenting is not easy and being kids isn't always either.

On another note of this subject... my daughter is now ten and from what I understand... we are venturing into adolescence and I can now anticipate that these fits will only increase and for my daughter, she will have no clue as to why. PMS my darling... lets walk that wonderful journey together while you figure out how to manage your emotions... and I figure out how to teach you to do so.

May you have a better day today... and may that little broken hearted Valentine of yours come to this morning with an apology and a kinder expression to gift you.

Rocket Ma'am said...

Mama always said there'd be days like this.

She always laughed real evil-like right after she said it, too.

Anonymous said...

i'm envious that you got to put them to bed early. BEST.HOLIDAY.EVER.
-jess

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Laurie said...

OH, I felt so sad reading this. We can still get our feelings hurt, even as adults. Hoping today has been a better day for everyone! On a side note, maybe you want to stop accepting anonymous comments? Just a thought. :)

An Irish Italian Blessing said...

Oh my gosh, that is heartbreaking!!! You are my hero for being able to laugh about it. I might have broke down and just cried. Oh the joys of parenthood.

http://anirishitalianblessing.blogspot.com/

Karen said...

Oh no! I am so sorry! What a terrible day for you....I really hope you had a better day today. Man, my butt would have been spanked for sure the first time "I hate my family" came out of my mouth.....

Renny said...

Jana, you have taught me a valuable lesson:

When I have my own children, do nothing for them on Valentine's day.

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

my kids got valentines goodies from me when they got home from school and surprisingly they were all very thankful... it was the husband and his serious disappointment that threw me for a loop when he looked and saw the kids didnt make him valentines... He definitely is lacking in the sleep department..lol your blog is great I look forward to reading it as often as possible : )

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Angela said...

You know, I always tell my children that tiredness (not that they are all above the age of 5) is not a reason to treat other people poorly. You exhibited incredible self control in not putting him to bed as soon as he came home from school. (Or putting him back to bed right after he got up) Way to go! I'm sorry.. kids can be stupid sometimes.

txparkinsons said...

the love of our children ... priceless..

MaLeah said...

My Valentine's Day rocked too! I spent a very romantic dinner out with my husband---and my 22 month old! I offered to give him away to the 20-ish year old guy that was smiling at me as I tried to strap a screaming, kicking toddler into his car seat when leaving the restaurant. He said he had his hands full with 2 puppies and drove away. I was willing to trade. Apparently, he didn't like my offer. :)

Sheila said...

Glad to see you're not too sensitive...kids are funny

purejoy said...

dude. i leave you for a few months (don't even know how you fell out of my blog feed) and i come back to a zillion commenters. oh well… i love you even though i'm clearly not alone.
kids. gotta love em. sadly the home is a safe place to vent all their emotional vomit.
for the next few years… wear a raincoat.
hope you got some good lovin from the rest of your kiddles.

Gina said...

Awwww... sad. I was laughing with you until the very end. Kids being cranky is funny, but ripping up the card is a little sad :(

I do have to say, though, this line:

"It took awhile, but Cortlen eventually found his valentine on top of his pillow, right where I had left it."

Homerun. You totally nailed it. I don't know how many times in a week this happens in our house.

Jen said...

Sad yet validating to me and others. My son often threatens to destroy or take or in some way exact revenge upon me for basic limit setting. If you take my toy, I'll rip all your books - and so forth. He has such vitriol for such a young child (almost 5). I can't imagine how I would react to his ripping something I made him.

On a Valentine note specifically, the babysitter left something for him and his sister in a sealed envelope. I had it out of sight, but he noticed it this morning during a playdate. He wanted to open it in front of his friend and I didn't want him excluding her which I knew he would. I told him when he could open it (in the afternoon) and he told me he would use that time to tell me why I should have let him open it when the sitter was here. Can't win, I suppose.

Hope the sleep helped everyone in your house.

Anonymous said...

At dinner-time tonight, give all the other kids ten bucks for behaving! j/k HA!

Ruth Ann said...

Did you leave the card outside his door in the same state he left it so he would see it in the morning? Just to see if he remembered what he had done the night before, you understand....

Anna said...

This is nothing compared to what your son did but sheds light on my own 2.5 year old's reaction: I made pink milk and a heartsy card to go with his breakfast and had them on the table before he got up and when he came downstairs and saw the milk, he got upset in a sad/TIRED sort of way and said, "I don't want pink milk" and almost started crying like I was punishing him. ?! I was a bit perplexed by his reaction but it makes sense now in that he was a bit sleep still (and also, thinking back, had gotten to bed later than usual the night before). Can I just cry when I'm too tired, too? Oh wait, I'd be sobbing all day long. :) Here's to a better day, Jana.

Anonymous said...

Aww that is so sad. You know they don't mean it, but that could just break a mother's heart. :-(

Anonymous said...

I used to love your blog! Now, not so much... kids are becoming very bratty :(

Danielle said...

It just takes some time to learn to handle those let downs and emotions, as you seem to know in your patient handling of him and the situation. I must confess, though, that I still look for money in cards and I am about 25 years older than 7.

Rags said...

Oh Lordy, I totally have to laugh ta this as I now realize I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!!

LLanter said...

Amazing how lack of sleep affects kids. Yesterday AM I got up and turned on lights to get ready for work. My 5 yr old son got up, turned off the hall light, closed his door, and went back to bed. Not a promising start.
After a good night's sleep, the same son got up this AM and got his clean clothes out of the dryer and dressed himself even before I got out of the shower. Amazing.

Bekki said...

I have a very cherished picture of 3 stick figures being pushed off a tall cliff by my 2nd oldest. He has a smile and is saying, "Bye!" My husband, sister (who was living with us and an adult thus guilty by association) had varied expressions of horror on our faces. Below are giant sharks, waiting with their jaws open wide. I'm sure whatever I did to Brenden was very deserving but, I don't recall

Anonymous said...

Getting more and more frustrated reading about this kind of behavior from all parties.

Is this the true sample of what our families are coming too? Very sad. No longer reading this blog after today.

Kristin said...

I love reading your blog after a really crappy day and knowing that I'm not alone, and that I have so much more fun to look forward to! You're my hero. :)

Carrie said...

I'm beginning to agree with some of the other mom's who think that somehow you think it's cute that your kids are turning into brats.

My son is 10 - his bottom would be warmed a bit for some of the things your kids are getting away with... or severely grounded.

I know that most people are terrified of a couple swats on the tush, but really it doesn't hurt their psyche or anything, it makes them know you mean business and in his 10 years... he's been swatted 3 times, maybe only 2. He knows better in most cases than to do stuff like you relate her.

I'm not going to give up on you yet... but I'm worried that your kids are going to start running over you by the time they are tweens.

Betsy said...

what a brat! hopefully you pay babysitters well.

Stephanie said...

I know this was last month, but this was HYSTERICAL.

I just found your blog today (recommended by Christine Rochelle, another blogger I am now following).

I'm not a mother and was not blessed with working ovaries, but I love children, and you sound like you have raised a wonderful family.

Keep blogging! I'll keep reading! :)