The Snake

Of all of the things that I want inside my screened-in porch, a big black snake is tops on my list.

Patio furniture comes in a distant second.

My kids noticed the snake while I was making dinner. "There's a big snake outside," Camber said, pointing through the window.

"That's great," I said instinctively. A few minutes earlier, she told me that she thought she had seen a grizzly bear nibbling the leaves off the palm tree in front of our house. "Or maybe it was a big dog."

I finally took my kids seriously when they produced an empty pillowcase and pair of kitchen tongs.

"I've always wanted a pet snake," Cortlen slobbered.

It took some convincing, but I agreed to let them keep the reptile. But only after it earned its keep.

My children liked my idea of putting the snake up in the attic. The rat (s) that were up there two months ago are still there.

My husband was not supportive of my plan.

The boys had a baseball game and we were running late, so sadly, we decided to postpone catching the snake until afterward.

The minute the game was over, we raced home. No snake.

My kids were heartbroken until I pointed out that there was limited access to the lanai from the outside. There is, however, a smallish hole in the screen door leading from the lanai to the inside of the house that I hadn't noticed before. They looked at me blankly when I told them this.

"That means that the snake is probably somewhere inside the house already!" I could barely contain my excitement.

My husband and I have spent the past three hours looking for the snake. I refuse to go to sleep until it is found. If we don't find it by midnight, I'm checking into the hotel down the street.