May 25, 2011

The Highs and Lows of Daily Life with Kids

Yesterday was the best of days and the worst of days.

Best:
I ordered a new sofa back in February. It finally came in and I love it.

Worst:
Before I could spray the sofa down with Scotchgard, one of my kids decided to eat carrots with ranch dressing on it.

I am not at a point where I can post photographs of the sofa's center seat cushion without crying. My husband insists that with enough time, and with the right combination of ingredients, the stain will come out. I have no faith and have already decided to turn my house into a museum and rope off anything that is remotely valuable.

Best:
I spent the hour before the sofa was delivered teaching my older kids how to iron their dad's dress shirts.

Worst:
One of my sons was a little overly enthusiastic about showing off his new skill. He wasn't paying attention and ran the iron over my hand. In response to the pain, I blurted out a bad word and had to forfeit my allowance for the week.

Best:
I got a summons to appear in court for the guy who pulled a gun at my kids' soccer game last month. As most of you know, one of my lifetime goals is to participate in a criminal trial, preferably not my own.

Worst:
The police officer that came to my door told me that the odds of this case going to trial are very slim. Most likely the defendant will strike a plea deal or plead guilty.

This news made me realize that in order to participate in a criminal trial, I might have to go to law school.

My husband said that my desire to be a serial student is not an option.

49 comments

Tiff said...

Aww man! That stinks about the couch! And the iron, ouch! Hope this evening got better! :)

Nicole M. said...

Well - at least you didn't have to go to the hospital. Optimism!

Try dish detergent on the couch - it takes out grease and it works wonders in the laundry. Also, the resolve carpet cleaner took out a stain from one of my chairs.

Good luck.

Robyn :) said...

Sorry about the couch!! I suggest trying Shaklee Laundry Booster. www.shaklee.com. I have used the laundry booster on blood and some kind of dark juice and the stains came right out! With a bit of scrubbing of course.

Hope your hand feels better, too!

Babydreams2011 said...

Shout or Resolve, I have used BOTH on salad dressing with success!

Anna said...

Oh no! I sympathize for you; we just have IKEA couches with slip-covers. To invest $$ in some nice furniture to not even get a chance to enjoy them has GOT to stink. :( I hope your hand is okay, too.

Mom of 12 said...

My answer is always to just flip the cushion over! But I'm sad for you...usually I like to get a month or two in before that happens. We finished the family room in our basement last summer and my sweetie has been so protective of the carpet! He won't let the kids eat down there or anything. At FHE last Monday we Redboxed the Justin Bieber movie. My 2-year-old was so excited by the music and the dancing that he threw up all over the new carpet. I guess JB sometimes has that affect on people...
Sandy
www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com

Donna said...

Ugh! Some days are way more worse than others! The sofa will get better and in 10 years you should see if you can laugh instead of cry when thinking of this incident. And hopefully at least one of all the helpful hints people have left will work. My low today: Principal called and left a message about some horrible behavior at school. The high was when my hubby talked to the principal later and found out my boy instantly straightened out after the parents were called. So instead of being grounded he's cleaning out his room, Productive Punishment. Thank God school is out tomorrow!

Molly said...

After I grew up, (had my own kids) I realized why my parents always said "This is why we don't have nice things" because it is virtually impossible. My couches have probably had more of my children's bodily fluids on them than I would care to tell a guest.

Deila said...

Love your humor, thanks for the laughs at your expense.

Bossy said...

At least it is ranch dressing. We got new couches a few months back. That night I sent the kiddos to bed and forgot to disable the xbox. I woke up to the rowdy cheers of my boys + stepson playing a video game at 6AM.

After I convinced myself it was time to get up and kick them off the TV I went downstairs and saw towels all over the new couch. They all blamed the youngest (4) but I quickly noticed that only my stepson (8 nearly 9) was wearing different pjs. The reason, he was so excited playing the game that he couldn't be interrupted and went to the bathroom all over my new couch...

While I was scrubbing it the neighbor knocked on my door with him and youngest in tow. Turns out they were lighting fires on her porch. Worst day ever.

Kira

NaDell said...

My Queen of Clean book that I bought on a whim years ago-it's come in handy with four kids!-recommends Energine Cleaning Fluid for butter or margarine stains. It says it's at hardware, home centers, and some grocery stores.

myfwbs said...

I'm so glad my son is all grown up (21). I now have a siberian husky that drives me nuts. He ate the entire arm off of our brand new couch only 3 months after the purchase!

Mum on the Run said...

A beautiful couch.
I feel for you. It was going to happen eventually, but on the FIRST day?!
A friend spilt strawberry dacquiri on my cream lounger on our deck - and I laughed (maybe the dacquiris I'd had). My kid puts his feet on it and I'm irritated.
:-)

Team Schwartz said...

I have four boys and it seems everything in my house is chipped, cracked, or broken. A few years back when I was most upset over some glass flowers being shattered, my husband made the comment that after gluing them back together, "They just have character now." (I don't know what I was thinking with a bouquet of glass flowers anyway). But as the years have progressed, just about everything in my house has "character". I do much better about handling these incidents now when I just view them as having character.

Lindsey said...

I love your blogs, they always put a smile on my face :)

Alabama Apples said...

I know you hear (read) this a lot, but I LOVE your blog. Thank you for turning the ups and downs of motherhood and life into something I can chortle over as I sit hunched over my computer pretending to to not see my children (because everyone knows if you can't see them, they can't see you). You help me to see the blessings of being a mother, but also give me an outlet to see other mothers feel like I do.

Liberty

kristen said...

Try this! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000ILA3YY. I can't personally vouch yet, because mine's still in the mail, but a mother of 3 recommended it with no reservations. VERY sorry about the ranch dressing.

Alana Tolley said...

Moral: Kids ruin everything.

Sarah said...

You don't love having your hand ironed? What's wrong with you?

The Mommy Therapy said...

I was just working on a highs and lows post, I think that this is unfortuantely the way with life with kids like your title says.

So sorry about your couch, that is so disappointing!

My five year old shut the garage door on my new minivan less than 24 hours after we bought it. I was filled with disappointment and straight up anger, convinced I would never be able to have anything nice (even a van I didn't want) as long as my children lived in our house.

The iron...geez, ouch!

Hopefully something works out with that trial and you're the key witness, possibly witness protection and everything. So Law and Order of you!

Tami said...

The couch could be worse...my son cut a hole in my couch-with scissors-to "see what was underneath." Seriously???? The same week, he put his leapster under water to "see what would happen." I guess I can look back and laugh when he is a famous scientist, right?

Bev said...

I always love your posts; you are such a witty, pithy writer. Today though the phrase "serial student" just cracked me up because my husband said the same thing to me about fifteen years ago when I floated the idea of going back for a another degree, unrelated to my field.

Joanna Wilson said...

can i be your best friend, please? you already live my life

The Davis family said...

Jana-
I have the answer for your couch! One day, my kids got grease stains all over my throw pillows on my couch. I tried everything, but the grease spots wouldn't come out. Finally, after a lot of researching on the internet, I found the solution. Cover the stain with corn starch and leave it there for 24 hours. The next day, vacuum the corn starch off the cushion with a vacuum hose... the corn starch soaks up all the grease, and my pillows looked like new! Good luck!!

Mom Blogs said...

Too bad about the couch at least you got a funny story out of it!

Erin said...

The Queen of Clean books have never let me down yet.

Mommmmmm! said...

The minute my almost 6 foot tall, 13 year old son saw our new couch, he ran and did a flying pounce on it. He landed in such a way the it caused the section to tilt back some and he snapped the bottom frame. The couch had been in our house for all of 15 minutes. I still haven't told my husband.

Kelly said...

Check out jenny's recommendations
http://littlegreennotebook.blogspot.com/2011/05/dear-jenny-cleaning-upholstery.html

The Girl Next Door said...

UGH Sorry about the couch. And trials? Not all they are cracked up to be!! I have discovered Nature's Miracle at the pet store. I spilled (threw?!) and ENTIRE large glass of red wine across my bedroom in a moment of complete clumsiness (hadn't even had a drop yet!). The nature's miracle took out the entire three foot span and every little speckle across the room. It's not just for pet messes!! and it takes out old stains, too! Good luck!

Anonymous said...

just flipped the cushion over, like the rest of us

shanna said...

Please just take it to the drycleaners in case you make it worse with trying to get it out.

Kirsha said...

I have the best mix that I use on all my kids laundry including poopy pants! it is fail proof and gets everything out even stuff off my couch! it is one part tide to one part color safe clorox mix it together and scrub it into the spot then rinse it off with a warm washcloth (make sure to rinse compleetly)good luck!

AliceK[i]ND said...

FOLEX gets out everything!

From the Heart Inc said...

I had a crappy day and your post totally put a smile on my face. Thanks for your candidness. (Is that even a word?)

Alicia said...

dude that sucks but natures miracle is really a miracle. you can buy it at pet stores. it takes out all organic stains that haven't been treated. its lovely.

Roo said...

I'm pretty sure that a hot iron leading to a curse word equals entrapment. Maybe this could lead to the trial you've always dreamed of?

Love the blog :)

Anonymous said...

Obviously test this out first in an inconspicuous spot, but try rubbing alcohol. I got a HUGE blob of red hair dye on my off-white shower curtain, and when I rubbed it off, it turned into a huge smear that looked like blood! I poured rubbing alcohol straight from the bottle and I swear, the stain vanished. I rubbed the fabric together to get out the residual color, and there is no trace of red. I was shocked that it worked. Because my shower curtain (fabric) was close to white, it didn't cause bleaching or discoloration. But again, do a test spot first. Another bonus of rubbing alcohol- it will prevent the cushion from adopted a "funkified ranch dressing" odor that would be just wonderful in the warm weather.

Deb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said...

We bought a new couch a few years back. The very night we brought it home, my son decided that he needed to put vaseline on his feet because they were so dry and cracked. Of Course he sat on the new couch for this process. There was vaseline all over the couch before he finally got his socks on. There are no words... :-)

Anonymous said...

Finally got a new couch. Kid is 21 and out of the house. Amazingly when I put that 80s, pink swirled, textured, cats scratching post out for the pick-up men it disappeared overnight.

But for the new ones - Walmart, Pet Protector or Pet Friend from SureFit. Worth their weight in gold. Doesn't cover the couch like a slip cover, 'cause what's the point of a new couch if you can't see it. But DOES cover the important bits like the seat, arms and top back where the blasted cats have declared them selves "decor items".

Best part they wash up and dry quick and back on they go.
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Suede-Taupe-Furniture-Friend-Sofa/13278684?findingMethod=rr

Toni said...

on that couch, try this stuff called Blue Magic. I found it at the Auto Supply store (think pep boys, etc). It got red kool aid out of my the light blue couch in our travel trailer :D

Rachel said...

Aw man, that sucks!
My family's couch has a special fabric where you can spill anything, get anything on it, and it will just rub off with a little warm water... I feel your pain, though...
P.S. my word verification is copirsob... seems kind of appropriate :)

Anonymous said...

carabona stain devils. I know I'm spelling it wrong, as I forgot my sleeping pill and I am wired at 4 am. I once found my white fleese with a year old hot cocoa stain down the front. With a charcol gray collar , so bleach not a choice. Looked brand new. They make alll sorts of formulas. Check the website.

Mom Blog said...

Kids will be kids, I hate to hear that about the coach. I have been waiting forever to get a new coffee table. I have decided the preschooler is past the point of running cars across the furniture, so I have decided to give in and purchase a new coffee table after 11 years!!! Wish me luck.

BlogWithMom.com

Mel said...

409 Carpet Cleaner in a can works miracles on furniture. My son loves to drop ketchup and mustard on our carpet and sofa.

Anonymous said...

You need a protein spotter for the couch cushion. we run a carpet cleaning business and this is the only way to get milk based stains out for good. otherwise it will come back. sorry probably not what you want to hear.

Anonymous said...

My husband cannot eat salad in a nice shirt w/o getting salad dressing on it. I've had great luck getting out oily stains with Classic Dawn, even if the stains weren't noticed until after the shirts had been through the dryer. I figure if it can strip stubborn detergent molecules off of cloth diapers and it can get crude oil off of live animals who get stuck in slicks, it can get salad dressing off of most any fabric without damaging it. Cheap and widely available, too. I buy it at the Dollar Store.

flatmargo said...

I was just discussing the potential risks with my husband this morning of ordering the couch that we *really* want to buy. You just convinced me that I am right -- we will buy one from the consignment store and not cry when it gets thrown up on, chewed, and scratched. Life is interesting with 4 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat. Definitely not conducive to nice furniture or a clean car.

Toilet Paper Coupons said...

Shout works best for me!