July 12, 2011
Another Way I Ruined My Child's Life
Today I ruined Cortlen's life.
He told me this several times on the way home from the bowling alley.
What heinous act of child abuse did I commit this time?
I tried to teach him how to bowl.
"Instead of dropping the bowling ball on the lane, you want to try to roll it," I told him.
On his first attempt, the ball rolled into the gutter.
This tragedy is the sole reason why he ended up losing to his twin brother by 15 points, and his two-year-old brother by 8. At least according to him.
"You made me lose on purpose!" he cried. "It's all your fault!"
"I didn't even make eye contact with you during your second game," I reminded him. "What happened there?"
While the rest of us were putting away the bowling balls and returning our rented shoes, Cortlen threw his street shoes down the lane.
I am still not sure what he hoped to accomplish by this.
On the way home, he repeated the phrase "I hate bowling" 8 million times.
"I'm not going to take you again if you act like this," I warned.
Later that night, we had a little talk about sportsmanship.
"You were a bad sport to try to make me lose at bowling today," he told me.
In addition to being star athletes, my kids are also intellectually gifted.