July 1, 2011

Her First Time

It's been raining here all week. This is a good thing because we're having a little drought, but a bad thing because we've run out of things to do.

Yesterday, I took my kids to a dollar movie theater. In the summer, we go there at least once per week. Most of the time, we only see day care centers and people that we don't know. This time we ran into one of my son's classmates from school. Upon seeing each other, the boys ran into each other's arms and immediately began wrestling on the floor. As I pried them off each other, the other boy's mother frantically looked around the lobby.

"Are there others here?" she asked nervously.

I had no idea what she was talking about. "Are you here with anyone else from school?" she asked. "Have you seen anyone else from X Elementary here today?"

When I shook my head, she relaxed and explained that she didn't usually venture onto the other side of the tracks.

That much was apparent.

The woman also told me that she hadn't seen much of the place yet, but she was kind of creeped out by the amount of popcorn ground into the lobby floor and the number of people waiting in line for the bathroom.

We invited the woman and her children to sit by us in the theater. She nibbled on her nails and told me that she wasn't sure that she was going to stay.

"Just pretend I was never here," the woman told me on her way out. I'm no brain surgeon, but I know that' s code for "Don't tell anyone that I was here."

I assured her that I don't have any real friends.

I didn't tell her about those online.

27 comments

brittany said...

HAHA! I've just stumbled across this blog and I LOVE it! You're hilarious and I love reading all of your stories! Can't wait for the next one!


PS- I wish I lived near a dollar theater!

Mom of 12 said...

Don't you just love it when people think they are better than you? If I lived in your hometown, you better believe we would have sat in the row behind you and had popcorn wars with your kids.
Sandy
www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com

Weekday Solo Mommy said...

Screw her- you should tell everyone that you were driving by the theater and saw her going in, then wonder if she's having financial troubles or something. I mean, look at her NAILS!

BTW, my mom used to call herself the meanest mom back when I was a pre-teen. She even had a license plate made. It put me into therapy then, but now I'm bracing myself for the day when my daughter hurls the moniker at me. Great blog- thanks for the laugh.

Ruby said...

You mean there's something shameful about going to the dollar theater? *gasp* I always told my girls (when they were tweens and obnoxious), if someone sees you here, they were here too, so what is the big deal? Also, I agree with WSM.

vanilla said...

Snobbery is alive and well, I mean, well don't you just love it!

Deb said...

I used to love going to the dollar theater. But, this year my son's summer camp is going as one of the outings and he will be staying home that day as the doller theater is now know for being bed bug infetestation central. I am sure he is going to be disappointed.

Niki said...

Sooo...was she wearing a tennis skirt?

Blythe said...

I wish WE had a dollar theatre! That sounds so great!

....even if it is occasionally populated by snobs

Catherine Dabels said...

I live for the dollar theatre, which in Canada means the three dollar theatre, and it's three minutes from my house so it's perfect.

Don't tell anyone you saw me here.

Melinda said...

Lol her paranoia was probably more entertaining than the movie. I would have spent the time saying "Isn't that ___?" and giving her whiplash as she hide her face. :P

Anonymous said...

The title of the most is a little misleading, haha.

Mesia said...

i love this post! so funny! thanks for the laugh!

Jillybean said...

We go to the dollar theater so we can have enough money left over to buy popcorn.

Gina said...

You do know about Regal Cinema's dollar movies in the summer, right? Regular, nice theater showing kid movies for only $1 admission. Totally better than having to deal with broken-ish seats and floor-based-substances of questionable nature.

Tee said...

For pity's sake, you'd think you found her rooting through the dumpster at your local MickyD's or something!

Mal said...

Ugh! I'd kill for a dollar theater! Unfortunately we live in the East Bay in Cali, so I don't think that's ever going to happen.

Anonymous said...

I am so not ashamed to go to $1 movies. They're actually affordable, unlike normal movie theaters.

Renate Hunter said...

You should've given her a business card for her to check you blog.....that would've really got her in a panic.... I'm an old bag who wears one of those "tennis" skirts that I bought from "Curves for Women" as an exercise thing. There are shorts under and I don't worry about exposure. My son is on varsity tennis team so I guess it a natural thing for a mom to try......

Lisa G said...

sometimes you look at people and wonder if they have ever heard of true character-- who gives a rats patoote if you go to a $1 movie, use free bowling passes, or swim at the local town center pool for $3/kid...keeping kids entertained and simutaneously spending time with your children is priceless---

SKB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lmtripp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lmtripp said...

Wow we really miss the movies. It's the little things. We live in Germany and there are no English speaking movies!
www.trippwirez.com

Bluebird Kisses said...

Too funny. I can't believe that mom!
www.bluebirdkisses.com

michelle said...

I would go to a $1.00 theatre the cheapest we have here is $12.00 and thats only one day a week and not during school holidays thanks for the laugh and i wouldnt be ashamed to admit it either!!

canadianmom said...

Our version of the $1 theater here in Canada is $3.... but it is an actual respectable theater, clean and in good shape where there is no pressure to act like you don't know half the people you see there.... We get free passes to the real theater with all the pop points we gain... if they are available due to demand. The only kicker is that the cheap theater and regular theater have in common are the prices of the snacks which are outrageous and have prompted a few incidents of sneaking in a bag of munchies and a can of pop in an oversized bag on occasion! ;)

Anonymous said...

those summer movie series growing up (12 movies, 8 dollars - 1 a week all summer), were so fun as a teenager! We'd "volunteer" to take the younger siblings. It was awesome!

As for sneaking things in, I'm sure I'd NEVER do that .... and definitely not recently. (P.S. - in a really cold winter, it's physically possible to sneak in a big Mac, fries, and a bottle of soda in a coat. Not that I'd recommend it - you get burns on your arms.)

HeatherB said...

SO Funny!

I am a new follower and would love for you to follow back.