July 18, 2011

Shopping at Target

I rarely take my kids to Target anymore. One reason is that bright lights and toy aisles tend to bring out the worst in them. The other has to do with how clothing racks make them all have to urinate.

I quickly grabbed what I needed to get today and was headed for the checkout lane when I spotted something as rare and elusive as the Hope Diamond: a 50% off clothing rack stocked with clothes that I actually would wear.

"Two minutes," I promised when the whining began. "That's all I ask."

Ten seconds into the ordeal, the first one said he had to use the bathroom.

"Too bad," I replied. I had just taken everyone to the bathroom literally five minutes earlier.

"But I didn't go when everyone else went," he cried. When pressed, he said that he had spent the time playing with the soap dispenser.

"That's too bad," I said. "You can wait for two minutes."

About this time, another shopper in the vicinity began scowling at me.

"I have to go too!" cried the other one.

The shopper began to make weird noises with her tongue.

"I am going to pee my pants!" the first one yelled. He started hopping on one foot.

The shopper looked like she was going to start hopping on one foot too.

"Agh!" I cried, succumbing to peer pressure. "Forget it! Let's go!"

I took my boys to the bathroom and left my fall wardrobe on the rack.

When I came back, my fall wardrobe was in the other shopper's cart.

Of course.

24 comments

Mom of 12 said...

I've given up clothes shopping with my kids. They want everything they see and nothing I want to buy.
Sandy
www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com

Dovie said...

Argh! How rude, take it with you but park it in the vicinity of the bathroom. You know back in tools or something. Maybe it wasn't meant to be and the clothes will become a curse on her forever. Muhahaha!

Anonymous said...

Take them with you and look through them while the kids play in the bathroom. Win win for everyone.

myfwbs said...

You should be ashamed of yourself for torturing those darling children like you did. And just so you could be a fashionista? Really?!?!

I LOVED this! The things moms have to endure.

I have a Target giveaway on my blog I'd love to share with you.
http://myfwbs.blogspot.com/2011/07/target-gift-card-giveaway.html

Jen said...

Shopping with kids is TORTURE. Especially if you have all of them with you. My favorite Target trip was when they took all the plungers off the bottom shelf and stuck them all over the floor :)

HD said...

You should have "tsk"ed your tongue at her when you got back. (o;

RoryBore said...

never take my kids when I want to clothes shop either....thankfully I am too broke and it doesn't occur very often!
uggh, don't me started on the tsk, tsk eye rolling judgey pants people. my post today was long enough!

Ruby said...

heehee. That will teach you to cave to peer pressure. It seems we are never too old to care what our peers think. I don't EVER shop for my clothing with my kids. The teens are just too honest about how I look and the six yo is too impatient.

nodramamomma37 said...

I can't believe I just found this blog! And I agree with Dovie. May the seams rip at the most inopportune moments!

Emmy said...

Oh maybe that lady had some sort of witch powers and made your kids have to go on purpose!

Anonymous said...

My sister in law took her son to Home Depot. I guess her son needed to go to the bathroom but didnt want to tell her, because he pooped in his pants and then when he hoped she wasnt looking took the poop and threw it up on the very highest shelf he could. So at least your kids told you they needed to go. Sorry about the clothes though. I agree next time take them with you and park outside the bathroom. I do it all the time.

Aubrey said...

That's when you just shove it all in your cart and take it with you, leaving the cart right next to the checkout lady so she knows it's yours and noone else can poach while you're in the bathroom.

5kidswdisabilities said...

Oh, that it such a great post!!
I learned a long time ago to sit my children into the 2 seated cart and push them along in the store. I stayed away from the toy and the candy aisle. I made the cart sway and turn corners fast, making it like an amusement park ride. Of course, I also flew past most of the merchandise I wanted to buy...
I later learned not to shop with my kiddos...

Anonymous said...

This is why you grab an armful of interesting looking items and run to the checkout line to purchase. You can try them on at home, after the kids go to bed, and return what you don't like at customer service. I also tell my kids they can just wait until we get home to pee, or else they would turn it into a power struggle. It's worked so far, but we rarely go anywhere.

Christina said...

Interesting looking.......
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melissa78 said...

I would have walked over and took them out of her cart!!!!

Anonymous said...

Let em pee in their pants. The embarrassment enough will make sure the soap dispenser comes after the primary reason for being there is complete.

Also, if the annoying biddie took stuff, I was clearly going to buy, just walk up to the store manager and tell him/her that you saw her stealing stuff in the dressing room...and then walk out.(yes. I have done this)

-- father of 5 (8,5,6mo trips)

vanilla said...

...and thus it was that the kids saved you from yourself!

angie said...

So is it wrong if I hit up the toy aisles first so the monsters will have something to play with in the store - thus buying my clearance-perusing time? And is it worse that after I'm done, we visit the dollar aisle where I can usually convince them they want something from there more than the (inevitable) $7000 toy they picked out?

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Katie said...

I have come to the conclusion that I can take more than one kid with me to Target. Taking more than one always ends badly...

Katie said...

Oops! I meant I can NOT take more than one kid.

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