August 22, 2011
Cortlen and Kellen are turning eight in a couple of weeks and I promised them that they can have a party with their friends from school.
Contacting said classmates in an age of stringent privacy laws and in a district that won't let you send invitations to school has proven to be a quest worthy of the Hobbit.
Last week during Curriculum Night, I wrote down the names of all of the students in each of my sons' classes. Unfortunately, at least half of these kids' phone numbers and addresses aren't listed in last year's school directory.
This morning, I gave each of my sons an assignment: get the missing child's contact information.
Cortlen never took his paper out of his backpack. Kellen was more diligent. He came back with this:
"This is scary," I said when I looked at the paper. One boy wrote down that his mailing address is "3 Address."
Another second grader wrote down a 15-digit telephone number.
A third little guy wrote down almost the exact same 15-digit number as his friend.
"This doesn't bode well for you," I told him.
I just spent the past hour writing out handwritten notes to 11 parents. The plan is for my sons to give the notes to their friends who, in turn, will give them to their parents.
I might as well just save myself the trouble and flush all the letters down the toilet. The odds of the notes even making it to school are exceptionally slim.