September 7, 2011
Earlier this week, a neighbor invited me to her house to be feathered.
I backed slowly away from her. "As in tar-and-feathered?"
The woman threw her head back and laughed. "No, silly!" she giggled. Then she pointed to the bird clipped to her scalp.
Or at least what was left of it.
When I was younger, I was taught to steer clear of things that birds dropped. This rule applied mostly to white feces, but could be extended to include other things as well...including feathers.
How do I tactfully explain to my neighbor that becoming one with an ostrich is not a good look for me?
How also do I tell the same neighbor that the feather that she has clipped into her hair is not a good look for her?
How long will it be before I am the only woman in the universe who isn't feathered?
These are the questions that keep me up at night.