September 19, 2011

My Almost Haircut

My eight year-old daughter has big dreams of growing up to work in a hair salon.

I am totally supportive of this goal. In what other job are you paid to listen to gossip and make women feel beautiful?

Ever since she got serious about her career path a few weeks ago, Camber has been building up a storehouse of supplies. There are close to 3,000 elastic hairbands scattered around her bedroom. My only hairbrush keeps disappearing from my bathroom.

And then there's the acrylic nails. I cleaned out her school backpack last Friday and found this tasty treat in the bottom:



"I found it on the sidewalk," she explained.

"Delicious," I replied.

Yesterday afternoon she plopped me into a chair and told me that it was my lucky day. I had been selected at random to receive an extreme makeover.

"By who?" I asked nervously.

She held up a plastic grocery bag...filled with my cheap makeup and the dreaded curling iron.

I was wide awake when she attempted to curl my eyelashes and almost blinded me with an eyeliner pencil. I found myself nodding off, however, when she started teasing my hair into a thick rat's nest.

"What are you doing?!"

I was jolted awake by the sound of my husband's panicked voice.

When I looked up, I saw half of my hair in between the blades of the kitchen scissors. He caught her just in time.

The murder weapon

"She needs a hair cut," my daughter explained unapologetically. "I can totally do it."

Needless to say, I'll be sleeping with one eye open for awhile.

****
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20 comments

Toni Marie said...

that's my daughter's life goal too! She loves to fix hair. So far it's only her little sister's..and it mostly involves blow drying. I now consider myself lucky ;)

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

OMG I would have died. Perhaps a pair of fake scissors are in order! LOL!

Rachel said...

wow - that's too funny, yet not funny at all b/c I'd be pissed if one of my kids chopped my hair off!
They actually had plastic pretend scissors to use with their fake hair doing stuff, but once my son got in on the action I decided to eliminate the scissors altogether b/c I could just see him using the wrong pair and actually giving somebody a new look.

Amy M. said...

Phew! Husband to the rescue! Give her a cheap pair of scissors (hide your Kitchen Aid one's, pronto!) and tell her to go give the grass a trim. That'll really get the HOA talking.

Susan from WhatWeirdos! said...

Don't do the fake scissors either! The daughter of a friend of mine cut another girl's hair clean off with a pair, despite them being completely plastic. Could not believe it.

Good luck!! Maybe she should put up a sign advertising her hair salon. Wonder how the HOA feels about in-home businesses.

BeckyB.West said...

I've had many a serious conversation with my daughters on what they should NOT cut with scissors. The thoughts of a makeover done by either one of them haunt me, because I was the victim of an amateur makeover years ago! Your husband rode in on a white horse!

Mom of 12 said...

When my girls were little, the older one took the scissors to her little sister's hair and left little tufts all over about an inch long. I took both of them to the salon the next day and had the younger one's fixed (as much as possible which wasn't much) and the older one's cut to match! Mean or incredibly brilliant? Don't know, but neither one of them ever gave any more haircuts!

Sandy

PS Did you see my son on CNN? Google 132 Merit Badges!

Krafty Max Originals said...

WOW, what timing! This was so funny! ~KM

Ruby said...

Sooooo funny! My eldest sister played beauty shop with my other sister when they were little and cut her dog ears off at the rubber bands. Thank goodness your DH caught your DD in time.

Kyle and Alli said...

Too funny. I can't find your giveaway... where is that post?

Heather B said...

sadly...there was no one there to save ME when my daughter was standing over me with a pair of scissors...it was the sound of the "clip" that woke me up. she was 5.

No Drama Mama said...

Oh...my...god. Maybe you could get her one of those creepy mannequin heads to practice on?

Patty said...

My granddaughter, when 7, decided her and her mom both needed bangs cut, so at about 7:30 AM cut hers 1/2 inch from her head, then cut her moms hair whike mom slept. I told her she better quit sleeping so soundly. ;)

Christine said...

Hillarious!!

Beth Hatch said...

Love it!

TaT in OKC said...

I have a nail tech "kid" (she's 25). I may be able to recoup a fraction of her care and feeding by utilizing the Mama Discount. She doesn't do my hair anymore; just the mani/pedi.

It does grows back. And there's always scarves, hats, and wigs.

Ariel said...

This is too funny! I used to want to be a hair dresser too (some how I ended up becoming a teacher which is similar enough- kids dish a lot of gossip!), but I DID cut my mom's hair with scissors. I still can't believe how calm she was about the whole thing! She just laughed, told me never to use real scissors again, and made an appointment at the salon. :)

craigandstacy said...

I have read this several times now and am still laughing about it. SO glad your hubby caught her before she lopped off a chunk. I love your blog!

Leanne said...

My daughter is 2 and a half and has already taken quite an interest in being a hair stylist. Quite often am I sujected to hours of her pulling my hair and wrapping hair ties into my hair which I later have to cut out.. You were very lucky that hubby stopped her before it was too late!

Lisa said...

My husband is wondering what I am laughing so hard about. Glad you caught her in time and you wasn't asleep like I was when my daughter decided we all needed new haircuts around here...herself included.