September 24, 2011

The See-Through Poncho

"Why are all women's shirts these days basically see-through ponchos?"




There wasn't anyone else around when I came home from Marshalls, so I had to ask my husband.

"I believe the proper term is 'sheer,'" he corrected. He didn't have a good answer for why none of the shirts had waists.

I tried on five of these types of shirts at the discount retailer, including one that looked like a Navajo blanket, and I will tell you this: whatever they are, they aren't flattering. At least on me.



"Maybe you just don't know how to wear them," my husband suggested.

I can't say that I didn't try. There was a mannequin at Old Navy that was wearing a poncho and skinny jeans. I brought the exact same outfit into the dressing room and tried it on.

"The looser the shirt is on top, the tighter your pants need to be on bottom," the clerk explained. "It's all about proportion."

And boots. She told me the key to jazzing up a poncho is pairing it with an excessive number of uncomfortable accessories. She recommended a thick belt and three inch heels.

That was enough to make me decide that I'm okay with not being cute.

25 comments

K A B L O O E Y said...

Ha! First line cracked me the heck up. and yeah, the Old Navy sales clerk channeling Michael Kors on Runway was good for a laugh as well.

NaDell said...

So true. My mom always told me that if shirts fall off the hanger in the store, they won't stay where they belong on me either. Easy test. You know, if you can even get past looking like a terrible afghan from a thrift store....
I'm riding this current skinny jeans, baggy top trend out. (Mostly because if I wear any bigger tops, MORE people will ask me if I'm expecting---and skinny jeans don't work well on chubby hips and thighs...)
Great job for trying. 'Uncomfortable' is like a single woman, without kids motto or something.

Mom of 12 said...

I'm glad I never have to worry about being in fashion, because none of the current styles look good on me. I'm still stuck on the things that were available 5 years ago...does that mean I'm living in the past?
Sandy

Mal said...

The skinny jean thing looks good on only one type of body frame, in my opinion: short and small. But all I have to do is remind myself that Marilyn Monroe probably wouldn't wear them either--she's a girl blessed with hips--and so why should I feel bad about it? And I don't.

Tonya A said...

love it! I can totally see myself on the playground at school pick-up busting out of skinny jeans w/a belt that isn't necessary because my hips hold up any pair of pants I have, and heels, really high heels. I'd probably trip over my shoes and have my non-structured top fly off over my head...nightmare! I'll stick w/my cotton separates!

Sarah said...

Would your HOA approve of that outfit? That should be your first concern. :P

becca said...

Would You Rather? 1. Shop for clothes for yourself or 2. Get a root canal? Really tough choice.

Niki said...

Is it me or are fads much more plentiful these days than when we were younger? I've never been one for fads. I can look at my high schoold pics and not cringe. Not sure the girls today will be able to say the same...

PDCScarbroughpage said...

My theory is that if you have to jazz up a poncho that much- it's just not that cute. Lucky you!

Em said...

AMEN! I still can't figure out the whole belt trend...skinny belt, wide belt, wear it high, wear it low....who knows? I force myself to have one "trendy" outfit, but all the rest is my plain but comfy stuff.

Nikki said...

I was born with boobs, my sisters were born with fashion. Each believes that they are the unlucky one...

But my word verification today is "zedacive" and I am desperately attempting to find a way to put that particular word into my daily vocabulary.

Librarian Mom said...

yuck...what happened to flattering fashion? I mean, I looked great in an empire waist shirt with boot cut jeans. Now its all skinny jeans and shirts that make you look fat. I hate shopping now and I didn't think that was possible!

Mommy Inconsistent said...

I used to dress mannequins and sometimes I would put a size 14 on a size 4 mannequin and it looked great! It's all in how you pin it. I could put together the best-looking outfits on the mannequins but can't shop for myself.

BeckyB.West said...

Amen! It takes way too much effort/cash to put together what is considered an "outfit" these days. I'll stick to my warm-ups and t-shirts, thank you very much! I don't need to look stylish to play board games on the floor with my kids.

Kay said...

Haha! They are called "skinny jeans", not "make you skinny jeans".

No Drama Mama said...

Eek, those are hideous. I don't think I could carry it off, because tight pants on large-hipped women is not cute, but maybe if they were a solid color it wouldn't be so bad. Those things look like a clown threw up his makeup.

Kimberly said...

amen sister!

Alison said...

I honestly hate clothes shopping. It is bad enough being 6'1" but then you have odd styles like this.

It is even pretty hilarious to objectively look at the styles that are popular now. My husband just laughs at what is supposed the in thing currently and honestly I totally am laughing with him most of the time!

A Mother's Thoughts said...

They aren't flattering on me either. It's like someone wearing a curtian. LOL

Lynn

eliana23 said...

I hadn't seen one till I read this, but now they are everywhere. I blame you.

Amy said...

I don't get it either but it's the look that my two teen age daughters skulk downstairs in everyday on their way to high school. In fact, I think we own the shirt in the top photo. Let the kids look like lollipops. We know better ...

Rachel Starchman said...

The new stuff is horrible. I don't get it either. I hate the huge, bulky shirt look. Those styles left for a reason. Why, oh why are they back?!

CherieJolai said...

Ponchos are good because it compliments all body shapes. And, It so in for Fall.
http://www.typef.com/article/dress-body-shape/

The Outlaw Mom said...

Totally know what you mean about those shirts! And if you're already poofy up top, it doesn't help the situation - even though the sales girls always try to convince me differently. Anyway, just wanted to say that you've been awarded The Versatile Blogger Award http://theoutlawmom.com/2011/09/26/why-i-blog-versatile-blogger-award/!!!!

Kimberly said...

Friends don't let friends wear ponchos!