October 3, 2011

Curved Planters

What did you do this weekend?

We made curved planters in our front yard.

It was about as fun as it sounds.

I had big plans to lay into the Neighborhood Improvement Committee Chairperson over what my husband and I perceived to be an unreasonable and ridiculous request for our front yard. These plans evaporated the minute that I met the man and saw that he had a hearing aid and was no less than 75 years old.

That would be like picking a fight with my grandpa.

Needless to say, my conversation with the NIC Chairman ended with me asking what I could do to my yard to make him happy.

Hence, the curved planters.

My husband and I have done enough home improvement projects over the years to know what goes into making a curved planter: namely, a lot of time, elbow grease, a smattering of curse words, and a few hundred dollars worth of plants that will probably die within the month.

We also had the problem of our children with which to contend, and, specifically, their inability to entertain themselves for more than two minutes.

We started out the day by pulling chairs up to the front window and encouraging them to eat popcorn and watch us work through the glass.

Within ten minutes, all four of them were standing next to me.

"You smell," Cortlen observed.

"Don't talk to me right now," I snapped as I attempted to maneuver a 2 million pound sod cutter into position.

"We want to help," Camber announced. She was wearing a church dress and sequined Michael Jackson gloves.

"You can unload plants from the back of the car," I told them, gesturing to the driveway.

No one moved a muscle. That's when I learned that my children were only interested in manual labor if it involved operating an expensive machine with a sharp blade.

Kellen stared longingly at the electric hedge clippers. "Don't even think about it," my husband warned.

"I'm strong enough to do that," my daughter said, pointing to the sod cutter.

"Me," said Cameron, as he picked up the end of a weed wacker.

"This isn't going to work," I told my husband.

He nodded knowingly. Before we officially gave up, we gave each of our children a small hand spade and asked them to help us dig shallow holes for our new plants.

It took them less than five minutes for one of them to hit and crack open an underground sprinkler pipe.

Think Hoover Dam.


Mal said...

The hearing aid is probably just a ruse. I say, if he wants curved planters so bad, he can make them himself.

Anonymous said...

I think you need to get out of Florida all together! heh heh.

I laughed though. With you. Not at you. :)

BeckyB.West said...

I gave up long ago on trying to complete any project with children around. Something about seeing their parents busy pulls them in like a magnet.

Anonymous said...

Your neighborhood sucks. Move somewhere where you have agency.

Mom of 12 said...

This is why I have sworn off yard work this entire season! Why fight a losing battle? Thank you for validating my point. (I need to go have my sweetie read your post now...)

Taryn said...

I'll hate on your HOA chairman for ya! This whole thing sounds like a nightmare that you could have done without! SO sorry!

Jenn said...

Thank you for your great blog! I laugh with you and cry with you too. I usually feels so much better that I am not the only mother who has parenting challenges! Keep it up and good luck with your dam/beautification project.

WendyLou said...

Add a few really tall ladders and a bunch of paint buckets, and you'll have what we've been dealing with :)

Krafty Max Originals said...

OMG I sooooo understand!! ~KM

The Mommy said...

I love that your daughter wanted to work in a church dress and sequined Michael Jackson gloves! That is too funny! I feel your pain. It sounds miserable. Someone needs to say something to that old man!

InspiredAlongTheWay said...

Love the humor you can find in all the everyday family situations we encounter, even the broken pipe ones! I look forward to your posts!

Epicness said...

Omg, that is 2 funny!

huh... word verif. is "strays"... just wanted to point that out lol

Renny said...

Isn't this what visiting teachers are for? ;)

My word verification is skyanky... I'm not sure if I should be offended by that. What is your blog trying to say about me?

Amy said...

A few years ago I bought my first car (used) with cash that I had raked in from watching people's children. No, they didn't go out for a date, it was so that they could get out in the yard and do yard work. Too bad I don't live in FL, then we could discuss rates ;)

Cindy said...

Last year I was going to plant a new crepe myrtle tree in our backyard. I was having a hard time digging my hole because there were so many tree roots, and I eventually got the loppers and started using them to get through the roots more easily. That was a great system, right up until I used them to cut through the propane line!!