August 25, 2008

National Treasure

I could barely sleep on Friday night, due to the excitement and anticipation of Saturday's $7 Kids' Jeans Sale at Old Navy. My husband vetoed my first two proposals: 1) that we camp out in the parking lot the night before and 2) that we leave the kids' soccer game a half hour early to be at the store when it opened.

I paid dearly for my poor choices. By the time I made it to Old Navy (an hour after opening), all of the jeans in the store were piled into a mound the size of King Tut's pyramid in the middle of the store. Completely covering this eighth Wonder of the World was a swarm of treasure hunters wearing bicycle shorts, ball caps, and their husbands' t-shirts. The store employees--all of whom will be returning to college this week--were standing around the perimeter of the excavation site, mouths agape in fascination and horror.

"Do you have any girls' flare leg jeans, size 6?" I asked a teenage worker named Misty.
Misty was a lot smarter than she looked. Without taking her eyes off the treasure hunters, she decided that she would rather forgo her summer bonus than risk becoming a human sacrifice.
"Um, I seriously doubt it," she told me as she walked away.

Forced to fend for myself, I walked slowly around the perimeter of the mound and tried to find the safest point of entry. I said a little prayer to myself before I closed my eyes and jumped in. What I found once inside was terribly disappointing. Instead of the five-pocket treasures advertised in the circular that I received in the mail, all I found was a heap of bleached denim and black skinny jeans.

Since any treasure is better than no treasure, I snatched whatever I could get my hands on and followed the other treasure hunters up to the cashier. As I heaved my merchandise onto the counter, a young man named Greg, who weighed approximately 50 pounds less than me, told me that I was only allowed to purchase 3 pairs of jeans at the sale price. This was bad news since I had 9 pairs of jeans.
"But I'm pregnant," I told him.
Greg failed to see how this information was relevant.
Realizing that appealing to reason and rationality was going to get me nowhere, I resorted to another strategy to get what I wanted. Specifically, I stared into Greg's eyes until his level of discomfort reached the point where he was able to come up with the idea that he could ring up my jeans in three separate purchases.

"Come look what I got!" I shouted when I returned home. With that level of enthusiasm, my family expected a puppy or at least a Cherry Slurpee.
"These are jeans?" my husband asked, holding up a pair of the skinnies.
"That's all they had!" I said defensively.
"They're not even the right sizes," he pointed out. Carried away by the thrill of the hunt, I seemed to have overlooked the small detail of sizing, resulting in the purchase of two pairs of girls' size 10 jeans, one size 8, and a 7 slim.
"If I didn't buy them, someone else would have!" I cried.

My husband failed to see why this was a problem. Rather than explain to him how a rational mind works, I left him alone in his ignorance. As I marched out of the room, I couldn't help but wonder what my family would do without a fount of reason such as myself in their midst.

They wouldn't have 9 pairs of skinny jeans in an assortment of sizes, that's for sure.


Shosh said...

I tried to buy the jeans online, where they only had size 18 Husky left. So much for a good sale.
But, I love the part where you intimidated the cashier. great stuff!

Matt and Stephanie said...

lol. It's so sad what a sale can do to our psyche. Nice work, discount diva.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, Old Navy. I was there yesterday and the store looked like a complete war zone. We never found any school clothes, but luckily my 5 yr old son found a stray bra and tried it on for all to see.

I suppose that alone was worth the trip.

See blog for recorded proof that I will surely bribe him with as he gets older. ;)

kat said...

i did the jeans online. it rocked.

Rosemary said...

Oh Old Nave. This story reminds me of the $1 flip flop holocaust that we attended in May. I was 7 months pregnant with an almost one year old and an almost 2 year old. I swear those crazy women would have stabbed my children to get those sweet deals. My husband was absolutely thrilled that I returned with 14 pairs of flip flops. But hey, I only spent 14 dollars. That's less than ONE pair of shoes. Yes, I too am a genius.

Michal said...

i was in a terrible mood sunday morning when i woke up and realized that i'd missed the sale. i had remembered mid-day and had every intention of making my selections online, since i am not as brave as you-- but in my rush to and fro on saturday i completely forgot to complete my purchase. ugh. what makes matters worse is that i really wanted the jeans for me at the $12 price. and now they are back to $25. which might seem like a decent price if you aren't cheap and trying to clothe a family of 6 on a woeful budget!:)

kelliemcc said...

Hit this sale and LOVED it. Heck with correct sizes, just exchange them later for the right size. Thank you Old Navy.

Anonymous said...

at the old navy here in Texas they told us to return to the store on Tues (tomorrow) to exchange our sales jeans for the correct sizes!! good luck

The Avarells said...

Amateurs! I just sent my mom, who never sleeps later than 5 am, down to the local Old Navy and she was at my door a few hours later with 3 pair of jeans in the correct size. Oh yeah, and she's over 60!

Heather said...

LOL!! Too funny!! So do you have to return the wrong sized jeans or are you holding on to them just to prove a point?

nicrogers said...

Gosh, I am almost sorry to tell you that I went online (while sitting beside a campground pool) and managed to order 3 pairs of jeans for my son. Now I also was going to order a 4th pair and they were in my "cart" for 7.00 but my computer froze up and I had to start over again. But I still got 3 pairs(two carpenters and 1 5 pocket). I think though that they may end up being too big but I will just exchange them in a couple of weeks for the correct size.

Reese said...

Yeah, I casually showed up to Old Navy in the afternoon of the big sale. Big mistake. I didn't make it past the dog chew toys. Crazy.

Ethington Family said...

I was at Old Navy that day too, and got what I went for and waited in a 35 minute line. It was great fun, I think I meant 3 new frieds (think, cause...not sure if they feel the same way). Anyway, my husband said if I took the baby, he would watch our other three. At first I didn't realize how smart he was. I got 6 pants, because they let me count my baby! no stare down needed...maybe next time.

Jana said...

You people are way smarter than me. I never thought to exchange the pants. What would I do without you?!

3 for school said...

I went to one of those sales at The Gap once. You're a brave woman to go again!

Liz said...

actually I like your style! Besides, now that you have purchased all the wrong sizes at sale price, if you exchange them for he right size after the restock, it's the same price! :)
I didn't brave it... it's like trying shop the day after Thanksgiving... I'd hyperventalate!!

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh as I came across this post as I just recently found your blog. I shopped this same sale but discovered that you could order online starting at 11 pm our time and that online didn't have the 3 pair limit. I think I followed the rules for my kids and only ordered three pairs each, but I then logged in under my husband's e-mail address and was able to order 5 or 6 pairs for myself. Gotta love those sales! Seriously, what goes through our heads?