2. Putting instant oatmeal in my daughter's bath water to soothe her itchy skin (allergies). Breakfast anyone?
3. Throwing a baseball mitt on top of the roof to retrieve a basketball with a mind of its own.
2. Putting a wad of gum in your brother's hair because 'you felt like it.'
P.S. You are welcome to borrow my family's good ideas whenever you want, as long as you give me full credit for them.
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REMEMBER: Tomorrow is the last day to enter yourself in The Body Shop's Mother's Day giveaway!
Ah shucks. A super sweet article about the Meanest Mom appeared here today.
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31 comments
I have done the oatmeal, it helps, but it sucks to clean up!
What a great thing... Every morning I get up and have something fun to read (this blog).
VF: cistspie
Sounds like cysts pie. Another great idea?
What is it with boys and things on the roof? It's like the old lady who swallowed a fly.
And they don't even get it when half their play collection is sitting on an eave.
Gheezsh.
This is so funny! You won't be offended if I DON'T copy any of your suggestions, will you??? LOL! I could, however, provide you with my own list of "I thought it would be a good idea to...." suggestions...If you like!
Hilarious!
Robin@http://alabamaslackermama.blogspot.com/
OK, I'm going to have to start pulling out my camera when this kind of stuff happens to us. Love the post!
By the way, did you get the un-paid job in which you would contribute your own money to work with some questionably sane people?
My one year old son has always had sensitive, itchy skin and I have never been able to use bath soaps. Instead I put the oatmeal into the toe of a trouser sock (knot it, of course) and use that as his soap. If you have to use soap (as one does as children get older) then I would just use soap and finish with the oatmeal-in-a-sock wash up.
I've been learning lately that children do and DON'T do alot of things based on "I felt like it" or " I don't feel like it"
So I've been 'feeling' alot like putting them in time out, or taking away tv time... and remind them often that what if one day I just don't 'feel' like picking them up from school?? Then what?
LOL
I enjoy being mean too!
Your blog followers are so funny! You always give me a good laugh for the day...
So what happened with the crazy ladies at the Community College??
Sounds like you've had a rough week!
What's wrong with snacking on coals?
I got them every X-mas.
Did you say a bad word when you opened the bag of seasonings at the game?? If you did not, I think maybe you are a saint, because finding random, not readily edible groceries when I am looking forward to chips would make me violent and sad. Also, your bathtub makes me hungry. (The fact that I am not kidding about that troubles me profoundly.)
Done the oatmeal thing, clean up sure is a beast. Atleast the gum was in brother's hair and not sister's :S
The gum in the hair is always an adventure.
My kids seemed to always have a hunk of hair cut out.......
The "wrong grocery bag pickup" is so something I would have done!
It's been a week? I hope things settle down.......um, do they ever?
Food Network said that canola oil is the best thing for that sticky situation (gum).. sorry if someone already gave you that tip.. I am too overwhelmed by the smell of a diaper needing to be changed to even see straight! But her soft bum is being sacrificed for my helpful suggestion :)
No thanks! I have enough fun with MY families good ideas.
so funny, and yet, so true. love it.
Ok, to you and all of the commenters who have "done the oatmeal thing", here's my advice as a mother of 6 children, three of which had chicken pox at the same time:
Don't put the oatmeal IN the tub!! No, no. You put the oatmeal in a sock, then stretch the sock over the faucet and let the tub fill it THROUGH the sock. This will get the anti-itchiness of the oatmeal into the tub, without getting any of the actual oats in there. And trust me, it's much easier to clean a sock full of oatmeal then to clean out a tub full of oatmeal.
And come on, if you're GOING to put the oatmeal directly in the tub, then multi-task! Make sure you put enough in to make a full meal, have the family grab some spoons and gather in the bathroom for breakfast.
Does that kind of stuff happen to other people too???
Weird - I thought it was just me! You write more eloquently about it, however!
Great blog!
We were at a Denny's and my son wanted a stuffed toy out of the claw machine. My husband showed off his sweet maneuvering skills with the claw and got him this awesome Patrick the Star doll dressed like a Sumo wrestler. My son kept throwing it in the air, and we continually told him to stop. But does he listen, No. The doll ends up going on top of the roof of the Denny's while we were buckling our two daughters in the car. I told him tough gravy and it's just going to have to stay there. I don't know who was more hurt, my son for losing a toy or my husband for his skills to be wasted. Anyway I realized I left my babies pacifier in the diner, so I went in to get it. I was asking the waiter about it since they had already cleared the table. He went to look for it and as I turned around to look out the window I see my husband holding my son and my son holding an umbrella reaching up onto the roof. I quickly shifted my position so the waiter wouldn't look at the window and see what they were doing. They got that doll and I got the pacifier. We haven't been to that Denny's ever again.
We made the oatmeal mistake once, too... now I process mine in a food grinder first and that helps a little. You can run the bathwater over a strainer filled with the stuff, or just put it in a tea strainer.
I also once threw the newspaper on the roof while trying to shoot for the porch... I have a terrible arm, so the baseball glove rang a bell.
Funny! Love it~
Your blog is amazing Jana! Lisa showed it to me again when I was there! You look great! Love Christy
Oops!
I've grabbed the wrong bag before. I meant to grab a bag with drinks. Instead I grabbed a bag with the cleaning supplies. And obviously we couldn't drink the Windex. I mean, we COULD but then we'd, you know, die.
Put the oatmeal in a knee-high nylon, tie it off, and just throw it in the bath water. You still get the benefits of the oatmeal w/o that mess to clean up.
Sorry if someone already mentioned this, I'm too lazy to look.
Note to self: put gum in brother's hair on next visit.
The great article about you was well deserved. Your blog is truly one of the best out there. I love your humor and your take on this hard job of parenting.
I'm so bummed! I was trying to link to your funny Craigslist hate mail post, but it's gone. Ah well. I guess I'll have to summarize the hilariousness in my own words, but not as funny.
Your grocery problem reminded me of the moldy lemons I found in my kids' room after a week of pleading, "Has anyone seen the lemons I bought?" It was hidden between the wall and their bed.
I have done the oatmeal thing too. If you put the oats in the toe of an old pair of panty hose and tie them to the faucet so the water runs through them, you will get the same benefits, with none of the mess.
Okay, I just had to share one of my family's good ideas from when I was a teen. We lived in an apartment and we had to do laundry at the communal laundryroom.
Well, my mom put the dirty laundry (or was it already clean? I can't remember) by the front door. It was in a big black trash bag. It looked like trash. So I took it out to the dumpster. It was several days before my mom realized the clothes were missing. Oops! Well, it was kind of funny, although it was a terrible waste of a LOT of our clothes, including some we'd received as Christmas gifts. Well, you'd better believe that never happened again!
Anyhow, I love your blog. So funny. :) Have a good one!
I realize this is an old post. I felt compelled to read all of them. Clearly being a mom of 2 (almost3 and almost 9) I have nothing better to do. ha ha
A trick for oatmeal baths is to put the oatmeal in old nylons. All the solids stay in the nylons but the stuff that helps with itchy dry skin still seeps though! You can also use the nylon wad as a scrubber!
:D
Oh and your blog is amazing!
Cris
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