World Record Holder!!!!

One of my life goals has always been to break a world record. After disqualifying several high school track & field relay teams by dropping batons, running around hurdles, and accidentally running in other teams' lanes, I decided that my chances of making the Olympics were very slim. And so I turned to Guinness.
After a failed attempt in my late teens to grow my fingernails into four-foot claws, I set my sights on country line dancing my way into the history books. This horrific experience dampened my self-confidence for several years. Only recently have I mustered the courage to try again. Shortly after the birth of my twins, I became quite convinced of my ability to eat the most Twinkies in an hour. One particularly hideous afternoon, I ate a dozen creme-filled cakes in one sitting. I haven't touched the delicacy since.

Given my sheer number of failed attempts at greatness, you can understand why I was becoming a bit panicked about the prospect of crossing the threshold into middle age without a trophy or medal or fill-in paper certificate. You can also understand why I jumped at The Great Wolf Lodge's invitation to participate in the resort's attempt to break the Guinness World Record for "longest distance water sliding in 24 hours at multiple venues" held in honor of the opening of their newest water slide, the Double Barrel Drop.

For the story, click HERE