Much to my eternal sadness and despair, we had a prior commitment (ie. baseball game) scheduled at the same time as the party and so my son couldn't attend. When I called the boy's mother (whom I've also never met) to RSVP, she was very understanding.
"We have a present for your son," I told her. "We can drop it off sometime this week."
"Or you could take my son somewhere and give it to him then."
I thought I didn't hear her right. "What?" I replied.
She cleared her throat and said that it would be a nice gesture if we took her son out to dinner somewhere--like Chuck-E-Cheese's--to apologize for missing his party.
I was so taken off guard that I didn't know how to respond. Which made what I did say sound particularly awful.
"I have a box of popsicles in the freezer," I told her. "Does that work?"
The woman told me that she would buzz me into her gated community later that afternoon. "If we're not at home," she said, "You can just leave the gift on the doorstep."
She seriously said this.
And I seriously considered leaving a burning paper bag on her doorstep.
Instead, I took the present back to the store and have been impersonating the woman to everyone who will listen.
Including you.
Geesh!
***
Tell me your birthday party horror stories. I love 'em.
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113 comments
shock and awe
The list of obscenities running through my mind right now is astounding. Wow. That kid is gonna grow up to be a sociopath.
O.Mi.Hell. And that's all I have to say about that.
That kid is sure gonna have a rude awakening when he hits the real world. Stupid parents.
Uh-huh. I get the strong impression that his mother was eager to get this angelic cherub off her hands for a couple of hours. You just happened to walk right into the spider lady's trap. Good thing you carry Raid.
I wonder what she would say if you said you would take him to Mcdonald's ;) Wow, some children's parents.
That woman was given a pony as a child. Sure, every kid WANTS a pony, but they should never under any circumstances actually be given one, because then it gives them unrealistic expectations the rest of their life and they are unable to cope with any small amount of disappointment. Plus they apparently grow up to be giant Bs. That's my interpretation, anyway.
I am stunned at this parents rudeness... for you to even bring a present for a party you aren't attending is a wonderful gesture, but to even suggest "making" it up to him... seriously??
That is unbelievable!!! That kid is going to sadly turn out to be a real jerk...just like his mother.
Wow! That's some great parenting right there. Poor kid. Sounds like he doesn't get much time with his parents.
hahahahaha. WOW, Jana. You just find all the crazies. Bless their hearts. I'm going to try this next time, though--maybe I could coordinate and get some free babysitting out of it?? ;)
My husband's co-worker told me about the birthday party invitation her child got last week - complete with WHERE THE 5-YEAR OLD WAS REGISTERED! That was the worst story I'd heard until I read yours. Um, WOW.
OH MY. I would have laughed like it was the funniest joke I'd ever heard, and commended her on her wild sense of humor. If you can't teach people to be gracious, at least you can make them feel uncomfortable as heck!
Who does that? Seriously odd.
I just said a prayer that child does not grow up to be the flaming bag his mother is aiming for. -_-
Please, please tell me you make this stuff up or I fear I'll lose faith in humanity all together. I have NEVER heard of anything close to this happening. Clearly she has "issues" beyond anything my normal human mind can comprehend!
just sad.
That is absolutely disgusting. I am appalled that that woman would expect you to take her son out because you were missing the party. What is wrong with people? I am glad you took the present back.
She must be a relative of my ex husband's family. They were all raised by wolves!!!
your readers comments never disappoint either!
I might spend all night thinking of crazy things to say to her in response. I dont even RSVP half the time (gasp!) let alone buy a gift when not attending the party, let even more alone...take a kid out to make up for missing the party!
Laugh. Out. Loud. :)
That poor kid doesn't stand a chance with a mother like that. I was going to praise you for taking a gift even though your son wasn't going to make it to the party - that's more than what most people would do. Glad you took the present back! I would be just as shocked and would be at a loss for words if the same thing happened to me!
Wow, can NOT believe the NERVE of some people...disturbing.
I had to read your post 3 times before I could really believe I had read it correctly. Wow, I can't believe the nerve of that woman! She doesn't even know you, and yet she expects you to take her son out for another party?! That is ridiculous. I can't believe some people!
Totally shocking! What a psycho! All I can say is 'wow'.
http://fivefeetoffun.blogspot.com
Maybe you should have taken him... and fed him all the sugar and caffeine you could get your hands on before returning him.
That is absolutely classic!
Please thank her for the laugh.
Now I will go out and impersonate her to everyone I meet today, so the giving keeps on giving!!
:-)
Or you could have left the box of popsicles on her doorstep for when she got home. ;)
Some people surprise me, even these days.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE IN FLORIDA???
oh goody, that child will be old enough to run this country one day....heaven help us all.
Seriously disgusted.
Good for you. I hate, hate, hate better than thou people. Take him to Chuck-E-Cheese. Give it up lady. She should have been happy you called and said he couldn't attend. Hell, can I go with you to double team front and back door with the burning poo???? Please
that is NOT NORMAL. wow.
what a HAG!
that had to be my sister-in-law. not even kidding. pitiful.
Wow - I think you've just hit a new record in the "can-you-top-this" genre of birthday party stories. In the comments, only one person has even tried to out-do you and you still win, hands down!
There is something very wrong with that person....very wrong. Yikes.
ok, now i'm scared. my 5 year old just received her very first school friend birthday party invite. please don't tell me that these people exist!!
Wow. There are no words for that. You should have taken him to the local gas station "restaurant" and bought one of those 64 oz cups that they let you re-fill and fed him a few gallons of his choice sugar-loaded beverage. Then drop THAT off on the doorstep for her to enjoy ...
Please Please Jana, write and tell us about the follow-up phone call that the lady is sure to make stating that she didn't get her son's gift. I hope you have a juicy response ready for her.
Hugs,
Nancy
Oh man. Oh man. I don't even know what I would have said either. I have the same taken-aback delay between my brain and mouth that I doubt a zinger would come out. Probably just, "Um, no?" I'll echo @HeatherFretz's question:
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE IN FLORIDA???
Jana! First of all, you are a saint for even buying the kid a gift if your son was unable to attend (I don't do that!). Second... keep your kids away from hers. What a horrible woman! They sound like an amazing family... NOT.
WOW...here is the thing I have noticed with most planned parties. No one RSVPs and not any parent I know would buy a gift for a child when you are not attending the party. You were the good one for doing both things that not many parents do. She was totally in the wrong!
I'm with Lisa, you're good for even buying a gift, I don't buy one either if they can't attend (and neither of my kids have ever been given a gift by a kid who can't attend). Wow, can't wait to read the story when you finally meet this woman face-to-face.
Wh-wh-WHAT?
holy *&^%
How RUDE. You were nice enough to buy the kid a gift...and to reply...which is going out of your way, really, since you and child wouldn't be attending. In future, you shouldn't even be 'nice' enough to bother. Hate to say, nicer you are, the more people like that are going to take advantage thinking you are some daft bleeding heart which you are not. Obviously the kid is such a spoiled brat she was trying to sucker/guilt you into taking him off her hands for a spot of peace...or a shopping trip....or a date with the pool boy.
Been there.
Stop being so nice to these people for the time being. You're fresh meat since you are new to the area. And nice.
Bloody vultures.
Candee
What a nasty jerk!!!!! I totally would've left the flaming bag of poop!
Years ago - had a sleep over birthday party for my then 9yr girl. One of the darlings tossed a huge temper tantrum. In her huff she stomped over to the phone (didn't ask, of course) and called her grandmother to come pick her up (it was 11:30pm).
Grandma was 45 minutes away, but dragged her $$s out of her warm house on a very cold February night. When Grandma arrived said child unceremoniously shooed her away - as the 9 yr old little darling had changed her mind.
I was too new to parenting prepubescent girls and too stunned to react before Grandma high-tailed it outta there!
Longest night of my life.
One of the worst things we ever did was let our daughter have a birthday co-party with another friend. They each invited friends that the other girl didn't know. All the girls spent the night at our house, eating our food and making a mess. Then the other girl and her friends took off for a huge amusement park the next morning and didn't invite any of the other girls to attend, including my daughter! So much for feeling used...
Sandy
My 6 year old got invited to his first friend party this summer. We live in a low income area so I wasn't sure what to expect. I wrapped a small Wilson brand football I got off the clearance rack and headed off. It was pretty obvious when we got there that I was expected to stay and help watch which was okay because she allowed his brothers to stay too. Oddly enough his family was also there for a combined party.
When presents were opened I knew right away that my gift was too much. Even his parents had wrapped cheap dollar store gifts and clearly food-stamp purchased gifts. When the little boy opened our present I visibly blushed as the mom gushed over how expensive it must have been. At least three other mom who I had never met came over and sat next to me to tell me their kid had a birthday coming up. When it was time to go I had a shadow of strangers following me back to our apartment. I quickly hopped in our van and hoped they weren't camping in my parking stall with invites when I returned hours later.
You did the right thing returning the gift. And if the mother calls you back to follow up on her son's gift...I would say, it went to some one whose mother would appreciate the effort more!
My response: "Um, what do you think the gift is for?"
Love that you returned it!
Now, depending on who the child is, I will buy a present and take it over if my daughter cannot attend the party. And usually she is asked to stay and play and the mom and I catch up. On occasion we have invited the birthday child (if it is a good friend) over for a play date or out to a movie, but I can just imagine the string of nasty words that would come out of my mouth if the other parent suggested it.
Some people just have no sense of reality.
We just had my son's 4th birthday party this weekend. I invited his whole preschool class. I had "rsvp regrets" on the invite, thinking I was making it easier for people. No one called to say they weren't coming, so I was expecting 20 kids. We had 6. I have lots of pizza and cupcakes in my freezer now. At any time, any of these parents could have told me they weren't coming in person at pickup/dropoff, on the phone, or via email! Ugh!
I'm starting to think you're making this stuff up!
I hosted a birthday party for my two sons at my house. They invited children from school that I had not really met.
This one family brought their son, and all their five other uninvited children, and stayed for the party. The parents were upset that I did not read minds, and expect to have extra goodie bags for their other little brats.
When it came time to break the pinata, the parents pushed other kids out of the way and literally took ALL of the toys and candies.
My children were not allowed to associate again with that boy after the party ended.
A lot of my daughter's friends have celebrated their birthdays this summer. Some of them have been very classy affairs; a Saturday morning crepe bar at a park, for example. I almost feel I should dress up for them sometimes--I enjoy them though. But I refuse to spend more than $5 on a gift--these kids are two. So most of the time I just don't buy a gift. I'll get them something for their 3rd birthday party when they can at least name something they would like.
And for the record, I wouldn't take a kid out to a restaurant without their parents unless he was related to me, so tell the mother of the kid you don't know she can suck it.
My Aunt was shocked when she went to a 5 year-old nieces birthday party and the niece threw her gift across the room with a loud "Eww! It's a FAKE barbie!"
Don't worry it's been almost 22 years and she still reminds me :) Not all kids who act up are taught by their parents (who were equally mortified), but chances are this kid will pick up a few negative behaviors...
Wow. The gall of some people. I already feel sorry for his future wife.
You should have offered to take him with you to $1 pitcher night at "Mugs & Jugs," seeing as that's how classy they like to play it.
I shook my head when I read this thinking I may have had a stroke mid-way through and what I read didn't actually take place.
Talk about some brass ones!
The worse for me has been the parent who called to ask what vegan food i would be having since her child did not eat any meat products. I informed her I was going to have meat and I was cooking all the vegtables in lard. That if her child wanted to eat she must provide the food. Needles to say they did not attend.
People have some balls.
My boy are 2 and haven't had many non-family birthday interractions, but, like you, I NEVER would have given that kid a gift after his mother suggested that.
If this is what I have to look forward to, I might ban birthdays all together ;)
Taking back the present was the least you could do!! Sheesh! Can't think of anything that tops that mom!
This reminds me of the SNL Weekend Update skit of "Really!??!!?" It's so fitting for this woman.
Let's see.... in one birthday party disaster... the chocolate cake was flipped upside down on the white carpet, a toddler pooped in the kitchen and ran over it with a ride along catapillar, the Zoo event we had planned was rained out and my son fell and bloodied his whole face up for all the pictures. All and all, though... we just laughed as the bad luck piled up and have enjoyed the memory! :)
Seriously? I had to read it twice just to make sure I was seeing it right. That woman is nutso.
My worst was when a mixed CD party favor came home full of rap songs that contained a LOT of obscenities. My daughter was 10 and in the 5th grade. Naive me was shocked. And worried about music that had been played at the party!
I've never had someone be so rude, though.
Wow - your child must be really special in that bday kid's life for it to warrant "making it up to him". I wonder how this will be made up to your son though? Will she bring over his goody bag, and the games he didn't get to play and the food, drink and cake? If she makes it up to your child, then you can gift her's...
OMG..thats all I can think!
Do they live in Boca Raton??
I mean seriously? Only the rich feel so entitled. People miss birthday parties all the time.
I am calling everyone who ever missed any of my birthday parties and demanding they take me out to lunch or dinner.
By the way, you're invited to my birthday party this year. It's in Paris, end of October. If you can't make it I fully expect you to fly me to Flordia and take me out to dinner to make it up to me.
Kudos for returning the gift! I stand all amazed at the nerve of this woman. I take it you won't be encouraging your son to forge a lifelong friendship with the birthday boy:)
C'Mon...you really, really, really want to take all your own children AND someone else's child to Chuck E. Cheese! You can't fool us. We know you would LOVE it!
To the mom who lives in a $million+ house who dropped off her son to play laser tag at my son's party but did not send a gift: My son will NEVER, EVER forget and I fully expect he'll inscribe this in your son's yearbook when they are HS seniors.
"When I turned 9 you came to my party but didn't bring a present."
A $5 plastic water gun from CVS would have been sufficient.
Teri-that was brilliant! I couldn't agree more!
You are supposed to buy gifts for children you don't know whose party your child did not attend? I had no idea.
Rude. What you didn't get the memo letting you know that if someone has money they are better than someone who does not? Some people, sheesh.
wow. I'm speechless. just wow. (smack forehead)
Unbelievable!!! I must have read that over 5 times and I'm still sitting here with my jaw dropped to the floor.
Hmmmm...when/if she calls you can tell her there were some hoodlums in her area and you were afraid to go up to the gate or you left it at the security gate with his name on it, someone must have stolen it.
oh.my.goodness.
One more reason I am thankful to homeschool... :P
Once for my brothers 6th birthday, he invited over several friends. One boy insisted that the present he brought for MY BROTHER should be opened by him, as he brought the present. He was politely told no. After he said they should open that gift first and play with it first, since he said it was the best. Later he insisted that he should be the first one to play with it, since he brought it. Needless to say, he wasn't invited over again.
Holy cow! My jaw dropped! What in the world?? I have never heard of such a thing. Is that lady for real? She needs a big bag of sh** on her porch!
My mother-in-law invited us to Thanksgiving dinner many years ago. We brought the turkey. I washed the dishes before the meal, set the table, cooked everything but the turkey, and washed the dishes after the meal was over (the other 8 family members did nothing except eat, drink, and watch football). When we were ready to leave, m-i-l said "You damn well better leave that turkey here, to pay us for the electricity it took to cook it!" Yeah, people are .... weird.
The other mom is a textbook sociopath. Keep your kids, pets, and property far away from that family.
Is no one else concerned that this woman wanted you to take out her son even though she has no idea who you are? Sorry, but I don't like my kids going out with people I have never met. Period.
Oh.My.Word. Wow. I'm nearly speechless. I probably would have said, "You're kidding, right?" I know people want the best for their kids, but sometimes giving them less is what is best for them. That little boy is going to have a really hard time accepting that the world doesn't revolve around him.
Burning bag of poop--burning effigy same difference?
That's amazing.
I love the burning bag of doo doo pic! We actually had some kids do that to us....so my son and his friend went back to the guilty party's house a few nights later and did the same thing. The mom called me furious!! I told her it was totally wrong from my son to do that and he probably wouldn't have thought of it until her son did it on our porch previously. We hauled our kids down to appologize and she didn't make her spoiled brat kid come out of his room!! Honestly there are all kinds!! One other post a lady mentioned a child showing up to the party with out a gift. We had that happen once and it really makes an impact on the birthday child when it is their Bishops son. I don't know why but that really bothered my son!
We were at a birthday party this summer where the Birthday Girl was melting down (end of the party drama-trauma) and the mom was INSISTING that the kids do the pianata. It was beyond uncomfortable (because naturally, nobody could do the pinata until her daughter stopped screeching). Still, my story doesn't hold a candle to yours. :)
ps. don't ever stop being nice. that's how people turn out like this woman.
There are no words...
jaw has dropped.
My Father in Law requires money AND a card at every birthday and fathers day. If you dont or forget to bring him your offering, he will call you on it. I always though that was the worst.
This.Takes.The.Cake.
You should take him out to dinner, if you were his Grandmother, sheesh. I am glad you returned the gift!
I'd say pick the boy up and drive him to the nearest child pshychologist. He's going to need it.
I think I would personally give the kid a bb gun, sling shot, and big pack of sharpies...should take you off that invite list!
I would think this story was made up if I didn't know people that crazy. I would tell you some stories, but they're probably watching me ...... Hahahaha. Actually, could be true. :P
prescription drugs, i blame it on prescription drugs. there couldn't be any other reason for a normal human being to behave in such an awful manner!!!!!!!!!!
this is a crazy story!!
there have been people comment about kids showing up without gifts
and I just have to say that my parents had 6 kids and my father was often unemployed growing up. Whenever we received a party invitation we NEVER brought a gift. We (as kids) wanted to. But we'd ask our mom and she'd say, "Listen, they invited you to come because they want you there as their friend. If they invited you there so they could get a present than maybe they deserve it. If I could get a present I would - but you should still go"
As a result I've been trained to not give presents to anyone for anything - it literally doesn't occur to my brain to make it happen. I understand it's perfect manners and polite, etc. But There have been times I don't remember we don't have a present until we're on their doorstep.
So please be kind and gentle in judging the present-less. Maybe there are money problems, maybe the mom was so busy or distracted (family death, etc) that she forgot. Don't get hurt feelings. Because I may be that mom and I'll try to make it up to you!
i don't have a birthday party story... BUT, when we lived in germany somebody actually left flaming poo on our doorstep. it was gross. and a little scary.
Some parents seriously have some nerve!
I practically beg people to not buy presents for my kids birthdays, they have enough stuff and really, they want their friends to come over, play, have cake and be a part of the celebration. I also don't let my kids open presents in front of their friends anymore because if someone does forget or just can't afford one I don't want them to feel bad and worse, my four year old says every thought she has and will tell you if she thinks your gift sucks - I am working on that, but still, she is very honest, sometimes too much so.
Kids don't need more stuff, they need more time to be kids.
I also have about four large friend parties a year, where I invite every friend they have (all three of my kids friends at one time) over to our house for the day. I am telling you, that's what memories are made of. No special reason, just good friends, party food, and time well spent. The laundry doesn't get done and the house is trashed but in the end, my kids will know that I made the effort to make their home the place where friends are always welcome.
I feel bad for the mom in this post, she has major issues.
I have a soon to be Ex Sister in law who would upload pictures of gifts that her daughter (who was 1/2 at the time) would like for Christmas and or Birthday and if you couldn't send said gifts you can also send money for her to buy. Gifts also included a baby gate.....right........
I imagine a tone of desperation in her voice suggesting you PLEASE take her son AWAY for an evening...PLEASE?! The second nanny's had two days off at the worst possible time.
A pack of Sharpies? That's the best idea ever, Anon!
wow.
I'm still trying to pick my jaw up from the floor....
I thought my daughter's last birthday had a strange incident but you certainly take the cake.
A mom of one of the girls who attended wanted her daughter to come home mid-party because she didn't take the trash out before she left. I could sorta/kinda (not really) justify that. The caveat? She wanted me to drive the girl home.
"Umm, excuse ma'am...I'm the hostess. I'm not leaving."
W.O.W. Unbelievable! Just the fact that she'd be willing to let her son go out somewhere with people she doesn't really know says something about her.
I say you should have taken him out for an Espresso and sent him home with a puppy. Maybe that would have "made it up to him."
Not a birthday story, but rather a Christmas party story.
When I was 9, and in 4th grade, the Christmas party idea for my school was for all of the girls to bring books to exchange with the other girls and same for the boys. I brought a book, as did all of the other girls in my class. When it came time to exchange the books, we all drew numbers for which book to pick from the table (all of them were numbered).
The book I picked was about hair care, skin care, and face types. I was interested in the book and didn't attempt to trade with anybody. The girl who had brought the book apparently wanted the book back because she wanted to read it. She never said anything to me.
Instead her mom pulled me aside in the classroom and told me "Haley really wants that book. She's the one who brought it. You need to give it to her. She will give you the one that she has to you." I told her that I really didn't want to trade and that I'd already read the book Haley had received. She told me "well, Haley brought it. You should be a good friend and give it to her. It can be a Christmas present to her. You need to give it back to her."
I started crying and told her that I didn't want to give away my book. The teacher saw me crying and asked what was wrong (with this mom standing there) so I told her. The teacher told me to go back and sit in my seat and that I should keep the book. The mom then left the classroom with the teacher. I later got picked on by Haley for "getting (her) mom in trouble." Sigh. How I don't miss those days....
Has your son had any repercussions since?
One year for my twins party I got an RSVP call asking if it was alright for the friends' siblings to also attend. I told the mom that it was no problem, I totally understand younger siblings wanting to attend the party also.
Then the morning of the party I got another call from the mom telling me that she's handicapped, doesn't drive and could I pick up her kids for the party and then drop them off after? Being the non-confrontational person I am, I did it. Gritting my teeth the whole time....
OMG - that's awful. I'm so glad you returned the present!!!! He probably wouldn't have given 2 shits about it anyway.
still thinking about grabbing the box of popsickles, unwrapping them, and throwing them all over her porch to melt.
To "becca":
What is so difficult about RSVPing? Is it a bad thing to know how many people to expect/not expect/prepare for at a party? It's much easier for you to make one phone call than for the hosts to call every invitee to confirm attendance. You are no busier than everyone else- be considerate!
This is off subject a little but when my oldest was in a private "christian" school where we use to live the teachers use to send home lists of things they would "like" to get for Christmas. It wasn't pencils and stuff. It was like starbucks, mall and other grocery store gift cards. I thought this was the rudest thing EVER. I think one even put Victoria Secret lotions on the list. I was like really? Unbelieveable.
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