November 28, 2011

Christmas Lists

Yesterday afternoon, I asked each of my children to generate a list of things that they want for Christmas.

The list-making (which took, miraculously and wonderously, a whole 30 minutes) served no other purpose than to keep them busy and entertained, as I have learned from experience that the lists they produce are utterly useless and not connected to reality.

This year, for example, 90% of the things on Kellen's list are woodland animals:

"Do you mean a Webkin deer?" I asked, pointing to the second item from the bottom.

He looked at me like I was nuts. "What would I do with a Webkin deer?" he scoffed.

I'm slightly afraid to know what he would do with a real deer.

Still, all of the nonsense on my boys' lists doesn't compare with what is at the end of Camber's. She circled her top choice, just to make sure that I wouldn't miss it.

"That's not going to happen," I told her flat out. "No more babies at our house."

She looked at me knowingly. "You can't say that. You don't get to decide."

I cocked my head. "What do you mean?"

"Babies come when they want to come."

Later that day, I called my friend in Texas who has two girls, ages 10 and 12.

"We've been over this many times in detail," I hissed. "But it's not getting through."

She suggested several age-appropriate books on the human anatomy and changing bodies.

Want to guess what my daughter is getting for Christmas?

Sorry for the infrequent postings as of late. For the past several weeks, I've been working on an academic writing project that has been consuming my life. Thanks for your patience and understanding!


Deanna said...

Either a book about her or a new sister. LOL! Good luck with that.

Dovie said...

My youngest 5 just told us he wanted "Surprizes" we ask if he wanted to give us any ideas. He said "No I just like surprises". So that was sweet. Balanced with the iPads (ha!) motorized scooters (haha!) exotic pets (hahaha!) and weapons (hahahaha!) we've had on lists in the past we came out ahead this year.

Shay said...

Couple months ago, my three year-old told me she wants a constellation for Christmas. She was very serious about it. I'm hoping some plastic stars taped to the ceiling will suffice.

BeckyB.West said...

I recall a special doll that I had to take care of as an assignment for a home economics class in high school. She was called Baby Think-It-Over and she was used to discourage students from wanting babies. Perhaps this would have the same affect on your daughter.

Mom of 12 said...

We have a rule at our house that Santa never brings anything that is alive. That takes care of most of your lists, I think...

Mal said...

I say give her a recording of a 3 am feeding cry coming out of a three-month old and put it in her room--where her baby sister would be living, of course. Then let it go off every night between Christmas and New Year. Happy Holidays, Camber!

Tere said...

Love the lists. I'm not sure I ever asked for the woodland creatures, although my son seems to think that critters would be nice. As a mom, I have to say "no", but it is fun to see the list and give them that cocked head and strange look. They always respond with "but why not?" Gotta love kids...

TBB said...

I asked for a dog for every Christmas and every birthday up until I was 22. I got married a month before my 23rd birthday and my husband let me adopt a dog. Said dog promptly caused about $2k of property damage and required $600 worth of vet bills in the first three months of her life because she'd been abused by her previous owner and, as a result, was completely, totally insane and incapable of dealing with anything outside of her comfort zone... and EVERYTHING was outside of this dog's comfort zone.

Moral of the story: Kellen can get a dog when he's all grown up and can deal with the destruction of most of his electronics, furniture, life savings, etc. :)

Donna said...

Glad to know my kids aren't the only ones incapable of coming up with useful lists. My 14yo wants a Plasma Ball. You know, like the kind you see at science museums. At least he didn't ask for an ipad or more than one pet.

Julie said...

Last year, when my daughter was 4, we took her to the mall to see Santa. After our daughter got off of Santa's lap he motioned for us to come closer so he could talk to us. All he said was, "Um ... she said she wants a reindeer for Christmas." We thought that was pretty funny because out of the long, long line of kids that had already sat on his lap we hadn't seen him talk to any other parents. Guess he just wanted to warn us. We were not shocked though, because our daughter had been asking for a reindeer for a while. I did get her a little stuffed reindeer and put it in her stocking and she was not impressed - she wanted the real thing.

This year she asked me if she could have a brother or sister for Christmas. Whatever happened to asking for a simple toy?

chercard said...

I want "loashan" too!

But Santa can work magic dontcha know? He can make a sister appear magically right? At least that is what my 10 year old says about his outrageous Christmas list...oh Santa can bring it, I dont care that it costs $400!

Jessica said...

Way off topic, but do your kids use Handwriting Without Tears? :)

Anonymous said...

I'd be in trouble if my daughter wrote that list because she gets her b's and d's mixed up so instead of putting "deer" on the list, it would be "beer." :)

robin marie said...

i am so glad my cousin amy told me about your blog! you save me from hours of boredom at a desk job.

loved their christmas lists! i remember being her age and requesting baby sisters. one even came while i was in high school (no pressure!)

Renee said...

Your kids crack me up! My nieces (twins) asked my SIL for a baby sister a couple of weeks ago. When she told them the factory was shut down, they asked if they could just adopt my daughter since I was going to have another baby!

I told them when I have the next one, they can come wake up with it in the middle of the night for me. Then we'll see how much they want a baby sister or brother after that.

Jacqui MacNeill (Escents Aromatherapy Essential Oils) said...

Lol! Your kids are pretty funny. :)

Missy said...

Which is easier....woodland animals or a baby sister????LOL I would go with the deer!!

Chelle said...

Boy do I have a story to tell you.
My friends when they adopted their beautiful little boy from Russia found they were also pregnant. They decided that was enough for this "always have a plan" family. So he got "fixed". A couple years later the son was praying every night for a a baby brother. They assured him they were not having any more kids. And he always responded back, "We'll see." This went on several months. Then they got a call. The biological mother had another baby and it was a boy and she wondered if they would adopt him too. God works in mysterious ways. Thankfully this is only a Christmas list. ;-)

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