"Did I do something to offend you?" Joan asked.
Other than hanging a plastic leg cast from her tree, nothing came to mind.
"I found these in my mailbox," she said, handing me a plastic grocery bag. Inside were three empty bags of chips, a matchbox car, and a box of half eaten raisins.
"So that's where they went," I said, with a sigh of relief.
Joan looked confused when I told her to think of the objects as tokens of endearment.
"Like when a cat kills a mouse and leaves its intestines on your front porch," I explained.
Joan twitched her face and held her stomach. She felt significantly better after I explained my children's current obsession with the mailman. "They only deliver packages to neighbors they like," I told her. I pointed out that Helen-Marie and Sandy (other neighbors) only find grass clippings, pebbles, and the occasional piece of scrap paper in their mailboxes. Half eaten food items and personal effects are reserved for their favorites.
"I would appreciate if they didn't do it again," Joan said.
I told her that I would try my best to limit the deliveries and would make a point to inspect her mailbox for illegal parcels on a regular basis, but that I couldn't guarantee that her VIP mail service would stop altogether.
"If you find a Barbie leg in your mailbox," I said, "You know where to find the cat."
*****
Do your kids put weird things in your neighbors' mailboxes or your own?
BTW: your comments on yesterday's post had me rolling on the floor! We had a sea salt salesperson over the holidays!!!! I totally forgot about her! So, so, so funny!
******
Hey! One of my awesome readers tipped me off to something cool; namely, that this blog is in the running for the Funniest Blog Award in the BlogLuxe Awards from SocialLuxe Lounge. Wow! Thank you for the nomination; I'm very flattered...but a little peeved that I'm not in the running to be the "blog you've learned the most from." Haven't I served you people well? What about my kitty litter cake? And my fabric-covered Easter eggs? Hmph!I won't pester you too much over the next few weeks, but I sure would appreciate your vote. Here's the good news: You don't have to sign up for anything to vote and you can vote once per day through July 6.
To vote, click HERE.
Regardless of the results, what makes me most excited about all this is that there are a number of other nominees on the list who manage to be funny without being crass. Who knew that was even possible? What is the world coming to?!
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