Money Down the Drain...Literally

My older children are walking metal detectors. It seems that every time we are out in public, at least one six-year-old wins the lottery in the form of a blackened dime found in the gutter or a rusty penny pried out of a sidewalk crack.

Yesterday afternoon, Kellen screamed "I'm rich!!!!!" after finding a flattened nickel in the parking lot of Old Navy.

Due to the growing concern that my thirteenth-month-old might find some of his siblings' coins lying around the house and put them into his mouth, I confiscated everyone's loose change and put it in a basket next to the kitchen sink.

After several hours of staring longingly at the basket, my boys asked if they could count its contents.

"We just want to make sure that it's all there," they said.

The baby was napping so I agreed.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the weight of 327 pennies, 24 nickels, and 17 dimes. The basket slipped out of my hands and 368 coins slid down the mouth of the garbage disposal.

I spent the next 15 minutes fishing slimy pennies out of a sea of last night's dinner scraps.

"Why are you throwing my pennies away?" shrieked Cortlen. "WHY?"

Someday my son will know the answer. For the next 30 years, however, he will believe that I am the meanest mom in the world. Or the craziest.

Probably both.

The Tooth Fairy is in the Hot Seat

The Tooth Fairy is in big trouble at my house. Last Wednesday, my daughter lost her second tooth. When she woke up the next morning, her tooth was still under her pillow. Bursting into our bedroom at the crack of dawn she cried, "The Tooth Fairy didn't come!"

I looked at my husband who grimaced and put a pillow over his head.

I told my daughter that the Tooth Fairy probably got lost in the city or bit by the raccoon/wolverine that recently has taken up residence under our deck.

"She'll come tonight," I promised.
Just to make sure, my daughter wrote the Tooth Fairy a note, specifying where to place the two crisp dollars she was expected to bring.

The next morning, Camber came into our bedroom in tears.

My husband told her that the Tooth Fairy was vacationing in Hawaii. The truth was that she spent the night tiling the kids' bathroom.

While my daughter ate breakfast, I slipped into her room and shoved two dollars plus interest under her mattress. A few minutes later, I casually suggested that she try to look for the money again.

My daughter was not at all surprised to find the bills in an odd place.

"I don't think the Tooth Fairy is very smart," she announced as she counted her bills.

I would have to say that I agree.

*****
Anyone else have a child who the Tooth Fairy forgot?

Please?