Candy Curls Bowtique Giveaway

An Open Letter to the owner of Candy Curls Bowtique

Dear Jessica,

I would be delighted to host a giveaway for your shop on my blog; your headbands, clips, and bows are darling! Thank you for your generous offer to send me a few things from your store, but I'm going to have to very respectfully decline for the following reason:

Today's Victim

From what I can gather, this beauty was part of my daughter's lunch. It was also the "potato" in an impromptu game of Hot Potato. It may or may not have also been accidentally run over by my car a few hours ago.

Needless to say, we are not ready to partake of your greatness.





For a chance to win something of your choice from Candy Curls, head over here:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Candy-Curls-Bowtique/120471401367803?ref=hnav

Don't want to wait? You can buy your headbands/hair clips now! Readers of the Meanest Mom get 10% off their purchase through June 30. Enter coupon code THEMEANESTMOM at checkout.

Good luck!

Living Positively in the Aftermath of an Archaeological Dig

Over the weekend, my seven year-old twins came across a strange and suspicious object partially buried in the middle of our yard. The mysterious object was round, black, and either part of a UFO spaceship or an ancient Egyptian artifact. So they did what first grade boys do in such moments of exhilarating discovery: they dug the object up.

The archaeological dig proved to be wildly successful. My sons did not find any evidence of ancient civilizations buried in our lawn, but they did find a piece of PVC pipe, which they pulled on until it broke.

Only my kids would dig up their home's sprinkler system.....and maybe yours :)

I'm not going to lie: upon discovering what my boys had done, I curled up into a tight ball in the middle of my yard and cried for a good ten minutes. And then I started to laugh.

My family's most recent adventure has reminded me of lots of things, the most important of which is that happiness is a choice. I am far from the paradigmatic parent, but one thing that having lots of young kids has taught me is that living positively is a conscious act. Finding humor in situations and circumstances that should not be at all funny is both my primary coping strategy and life's guiding principle. If I can instill in my children one thing, I hope to teach them the role of laughter in living positively.



In a couple of days, I'll be attending the Conversations with Coca-Cola event in Atlanta, where I'll be meeting with some of the top leadership at Coca-Cola. I feel honored to have received this invitation and am super excited for the event. Since I'll be representing you--mothers of the world--what questions do you have for them? What have you always wanted to know about Coca-Cola (the product and/or the company)?

I promise I'll take lots of pictures.

Disclosure: This is a paid post by BlogHer. Coca-Cola will be paying for my travel, lodging, and activities while in Atlanta.

The Sobriety Test

When I woke up this morning, I did not plan my day around spending five hours in a run down strip mall.

But that's what happened when I got new tires for my car.

Within minutes, it became apparent that I wasn't going to leave the tire store without spending less than $500. In addition to new front tires, I also needed new front and rear brake pads.

Our stay in the tire store's waiting room was brief. My two year-old helped himself to a cup of water from the cooler in the corner. When I attempted to help him drink it, he got mad and dumped the cup on my head.

"Hee hee!" My older three kids very much enjoyed seeing their mother drenched in ice water. Their mother was less pleased.

We spent the next two hours perusing K-Mart. We spent the bulk of our time in the candy aisle. Fantasizing.

My two year-0ld turned everyone's dreams into reality by ripping open a jumbo bag of gummy bears in the middle of the aisle. My older kids descended on the spilled treats like rabid hyenas.

After purchasing what was left of the candy, I walked the hyenas to an abandoned corner of the parking lot. There we played every game known to man. And, when desperation hit, even a couple that I made up.

No one questioned me when I asked them to walk in a straight line with their arms outstretched.

My daughter thought that it was a little weird when I asked to smell her breath.

"Why are we doing this?" she wanted to know. She also wanted to know why I was giggling to myself.

"You passed," I told her without explaining. "Congrats."

Kellen was up next. He tripped over himself and fell on the ground. "This game is fun!" he chirped.

I sent him to jail.

Curling Irons

I avoid holding conversations with most people I know, but will go out of my way to talk to complete strangers.

That's one of the things that my husband likes best about me.

Last week, I went up to a young woman at Target who had particularly attractive locks and asked her how she got them that way. The woman-child looked at me like I was her mother. "I used something called a curling iron," she said flatly.

Fortunately, I have heard of those. Unfortunately, I haven't used one since the sixth grade.

I wanted to buy all the curling irons at Wal Mart, but my husband suggested that I just start with one. Of course, I chose the one that made me look like Little Orphan Annie.

"How am I supposed to know these things?" I hissed.

When I was growing up, I skipped a few stages of development. "Hair and Makeup" is the most noticeable.

What I need is a personal stylist. Or a sister who is an aspiring Gap model. I have one of the latter, but the last time I talked to her, she suggested that I wear dress pants and a silk blouse to the grocery store. "You'll feel so much better about yourself," she promised.

Needless to say, I haven't spoken to that sister in awhile.

A few hours ago, I returned to Wal Mart to look at the curling irons. I intended to buy one with a bigger barrel, but in the end, I brought home something that is guaranteed to make me feel like the opposite of a Gap model:


I'll let you know how it goes.

The Magic Show + Jewelry Giveaway

My daughter was in a talent show today at school.

The first I heard of the event was last night.

"It's going to be awesome," she told me.

"What talent are you sharing with everyone?" I asked nervously.

We are not a family of performers, at least not intentionally. I worried that she might say something that included the words "instrument" or "Irish dancing."

Fortunately for her classmates, Camber told me that she was just going to put on a little magic show.

She didn't seem to be as concerned as I was that neither of us knew any magic tricks.

"It's too late!" she said smugly when I suggested that she consider other ideas. "The program is already printed."

Thank heaven for preteen boys and the Internet. Without YouTube and seventh graders with webcams in their bedrooms, I would have never learned the secret behind the "Disappearing Toothpick."

I felt more than a little creepy watching the videos so I cut my daughter off after two tricks.

"That's it?" she cried. "That's all the magic I'm going to do tomorrow? No fair!"

"What do you want to do?" I asked. "Saw someone in half?"

She looked hopefully at her brothers.

******

Speaking of talents, here is another one that I don't have:



Making stuff is hard for me. It's easy and evidently fun for Sandra, one of my readers. In celebration of summer, we're teaming up to offer one lucky reader a piece of jewelry (your choice) from Estylo Jewelry.


You can see more gorgeous pieces on Estylo's Etsy site

Want a chance to win a piece of Estylo Jewelry? Fantastic! Register HERE

Good luck!