September 18, 2008

What Not to Wear (when you're pregnant)

The moment that I laid eyes on Dorothy I knew that she was my kind of woman. In her late eighties, Dorothy is one of the oldest members of our church congregation and something of a celebrity. Whenever she enters a room, the waters part and everyone jumps up to offer her their seat. Everyone that is, except for me. I refuse to move a muscle because if I do, it will pretty much guarantee that I won't get to sit next to Dorothy, something that I aspire to do.

Despite numerous attempts to entice Dorothy to sit next to me, she hasn't taken the bait yet. In fact, Dorothy hasn't ever said more than three words to me, that is, until last Sunday when she cornered me in the hallway.

"You shouldn't be wearing those shoes when you're pregnant," she told me.
I looked down, but couldn't see my shoes, so I wasn't sure what pair she was talking about. I said a silent prayer that I wasn't wearing my zebra-print stilettos, because they are my favorite.

Before I could ask Dorothy why my shoes were unacceptable, she told me.
"You could trip and fall and crush your baby in those things," she said.
That did not sound good at all.

Perhaps Dorothy had a point. Maybe I wasn't exercising the best judgment by wearing hooker heels after 30 weeks. Still, to wear flats to church would mean that I would no longer be taller than all of the men in the congregation, save my husband, who is 6'4''. I thought long and hard about Dorothy's admonition. In the end, though, I decided that the cost of swapping out my beloved heels for a stylish pair of pregnant woman huaraches was not a price that I was willing to pay, even if it did jeopardize Junior.
As I explained to my husband in the car on the ride home, I like having men look up to me. Especially those wearing short-sleeved dress shirts, bolo ties, and braided belts.

21 comments

Rachel said...

I commend you for even being ABLE to wear heels like that at this point! I think I had resorted to flip flops by then.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

You must not weigh what I weighed when I was pregnant or those shoes would have left a one inch stiletto-dent up and down the hallway at church. And for the record, my husband tells me that it is not appropriate to wear fish-nets to church.

Liz said...

Those shoes ROCK!

abbybrossette said...

Those are pretty calm compared to the 5in bright neon pink stilettos I wear to church. They match perfectly with my pink bag. My thought is save the boring stuff to when old and gray.

Ethington Family said...

You should have seen the clod hoppers I wore, and I never tripped and crushed the baby. I rolled my ankle once in a while, but style is pain.
mary

Jennifer said...

I need for you to tell me where I can find those fabulous shoes!!!

Carrie said...

I give you a pat on the back for being able to wear shoes like that. I'm not pregnant and I couldn't wear shoes like that...I'd break an ankle! I love them though...they are very cute!

Me said...

Are you kidding me. If you can get a set of pregnant feet into those and walk without tipping over..GO FOR IT! More power to ya!

Nichole said...

OMG!! I love and want those shoes!

pamajama said...

You're going to end up with like 12 or 14 children if you continue to be so cute, wearing those hot shoes. And it's wonderful that they'll all be really tall!

I love that this old woman noticed. Clearly, she's just jealous!

Jana said...

Oooooh Fishnets. Me like.

The zebra shoes are very expensive and are super high quality. Most of you will not be able to afford them, but for those of you who can, I bought them on Target.com (a few months ago) for $10.99.

tifferbob said...

Those are awesome shoes.

Malea said...

I have someone like that in my ward, Stella. Not enough blog space to comment on wonderful Stella. What I wanted to say, was that I would like to compliment you on how you seem to really take the bull by the horns and enjoy life despite your disease. I finally looked up what Crohn's was all about, and I decided I was really glad that you are doing this blog, which is humorous and positive at the same time. It helps all the rest of us to put lifes issues into perspective.

Rosemary said...

So, love the kicks from Tarjay. I bought the same ones in patent leather red last season. And you bet your boots I was traipsing (correctly spelled Dr. Jana?) around at 8 months pregnant. Seriously I felt like such a cow at that point I had to use do-me shoes to give me any kind of self esteem. Wear em loud & proud, especially to church. And you can fo sho make fishnets work there to. Opt for brown.

Likes Chocolate said...

I think the hooker heals are fabulous! Where can I find a pair?

DeLaina said...

I'm 5'9 and habitually wear 3" heels, and did through all four pregnancies as well. I like to have people look up to me too, and heels made for good self-esteem when the rest of me resembled soemthing of a whale! You go girl!

mamajil said...

cute shoes!!!Toward the end of my pregnancies my feet were somewhat swollen it wasn't even fun to wear shoes! Much less heels!

The Millhouse Family said...

I am 37 weeks and I am wearing 2-3 inch high heels! :)

Elisa said...

If you actually wore your zebra-print pumps to church I will officially leave my family and become your groupie. Because someone that awesome totally deserves groupies. But a purely platonic groupie. One who hopefully gets to wear your zebra-print pumps ;-)

Solei said...

Oooh La La...
I luv me those shoes!

Niceeeeeeee

plus, they got the lady to talk to you, woohooo!

ChrisIsSexy said...

you are a woman after my own heart. My boyfriend, very soon to be husband is 6'4". I am a foot shorter than he is and I wear heels every day, even on Sundays. Soon, (hopefully within the year 2010) I myself will be forced to downgrade to kitten heels. In the mean time, I LOVE THOSE SHOES!!!!