My Wet Nurse

I once knew a woman who made a savory soup with her newborn's placenta. She told me this while I was at her house...eating dinner. Granted, this conversation took place in Boulder, Colorado, a place where such practices are not only normal, but also encouraged, but still...

Since this episode some 10 years ago, I have been a little freaked out by objects that are expelled from the female body during and after birth. This would include breast milk. I felt this way, that is, until I had a growth-restricted baby with no immune system who really needed it.

While most women produce breast milk like manna--just enough for each day--Tim's sister is one of the select few who produces enough milk each day to feed all of Egypt. When she heard about our plight, she very generously volunteered to donate her frozen supply. On Wednesday morning, a cooler full of frozen milk boarded a Southwest flight from L.A. to Philly.

Any weirdness that I may have felt about feeding my son someone else's breast milk disappeared when Cameron stopped puking after his feedings. In fact, the more that I think about it, the more that I like the idea of having my own wet nurse. For one thing, it enables me to pretend that I live in the Middle Ages, something that is not too hard to do given that most members of my household also bathe irregularly and eat with their fingers.

The only downside of having a wet nurse who lives in California is that I have had to come up with some place to store all of the frozen milk. When Tim's mom (the milk's escort) said that she was bringing a cooler, I was expecting a small Igloo; neither me nor my freezer was prepared to receive 25 gallons of frozen liquid. To accommodate the sheer volume of my sister-in-law's gift, I had to ask a friend if I could store some of the milk in her freezer. My friend agreed to my unique request under one condition. She is selling her house and wants to include the stash in her home's asking price. She is hopeful that the 50 pounds of "liquid gold" will be the feature that sets her property apart from the competition and brings in a motivated buyer.