There are only about 20 kids that live in our neighborhood and 1/4 of them live in my house. To make up for the relatively low number of trick-or-treaters that my neighbors receive on Halloween night, most hand out high quality candy. In addition to offering full-sized Twix bars and jumbo boxes of strawberry Nerds, my neighbors also include in their candy baskets a few pieces of nasty candy, just for my kids.
At the first house that we went to, it pained me to watch my panda, nurse, and poisonous koala choose Tootsie Roll suckers over giant Snickers bars and packs of Bubbalicious gum. Of course I couldn't say or do anything about it while on my neighbor's doorstep (that would be rude). My chiding would have to wait until we reached the sidewalk.
"The next time that you see a big bag of Skittles," I advised, "Grab it!"
Everyone nodded their heads, leading me to falsely believe that they understood my order and were willing to follow it.
At the next house, all three of my kids grabbed a handful of chocolate turds.
"No more Tootsie Rolls!" I begged once we reached the safety of the street. "Please!"
My kids' poor judgment was ruining my Halloween.
My husband told me that if I wanted a Mr. Goodbar that bad then I should go home and put on my Cleopatra costume.
After coming to terms with the fact that I was not going to be able to control myself, I told my husband that he would have to escort the trick-or-treaters to the front doors while I waited at the end of the driveways, telling myself over and over that what I don't know can't hurt me.
"The next time that you see a big bag of Skittles," I advised, "Grab it!"
Everyone nodded their heads, leading me to falsely believe that they understood my order and were willing to follow it.
At the next house, all three of my kids grabbed a handful of chocolate turds.
"No more Tootsie Rolls!" I begged once we reached the safety of the street. "Please!"
My kids' poor judgment was ruining my Halloween.
My husband told me that if I wanted a Mr. Goodbar that bad then I should go home and put on my Cleopatra costume.
After coming to terms with the fact that I was not going to be able to control myself, I told my husband that he would have to escort the trick-or-treaters to the front doors while I waited at the end of the driveways, telling myself over and over that what I don't know can't hurt me.
14 comments
Haha, I raided Ceara's candy bag too. I told her it's her 'daughterly duty' to score Mom some good eats. She just rolled her eyes.
Hoping Cameron doesn't need any more visits to CHOP. Mr. Farty was a 2 week resident of CHOW (Children's hospital of Wisconsin) so I feel your pain. Hang in there!
They just don't get it! Don't they know that bigger is ALWAYS better! LOL! Mean mean, who cares if they want toosie rolls! It's about what the parents want because we're who are going to eat all the good candy any way!
My kids do the same thing! It just KILLS me that they grab the crappy little sugar gum balls when there is a perfectly FABULOUS Twix next to it. I would think this kind of thing would be instinctual. Apparently not.
And what is the deal with those hard-as-bricks pink gum things, jawbreakers, and other itty-bitty waste of calorie candy?
My kids got great things such as last years melted candy canes and little debbie snacks. Not to mention the between the lions bookmark from chick-fil-a. What a score!
What a waste of a perfectly good halloween costume!
Day after Halloween discount candy at Target here I come!
Isn't that awful? My little sister refused to get the candy bars. What did she want instead? PIXIE STIX!
I think those people that put those full-size candy bars out next to the dum-dum pops do it because they want to torture the parents.
Our last stop of the evening was at my children's Grandparents house. My younger one was giving Papa all of the candy he didn't want to eat. My Dad made out like a bandit.
I must be doing something right, because my son gave me a KING SIZE Butterfinger from his stash...though now that I think about it, that's all they were offering at that house
I'm sorry Tim had to settle for hobo instead of zoo keeper this year! Glad Cameron is home again!
Tootsie Rolls are the bane of my existence! So like chocolate, yet so not like chocolate...
Not that you have any extra time in your life, but I heard a great idea on the radio (untested by me) for turning yucky candy into something worthwhile.
The lady who does "The Splendid Table" on NPR says if you stick a tootsie roll into one of those Pillsbury biscuits in a tube, when baked it's very similar to the French "chocolat au pain."
On the flipside of the yucky candy issue; it will never tempt you to break a diet!
I hear ya. My kids went for the lollipops everytime, when all my eyes would see were the yummy chocolate bars. Alas....
Why do kids do that? Don't they know their mama's need chocolate?
Chocolate turds!!! ROFL
Ah thank you for that one.
Post a Comment