October 10, 2008

Nurse Hot Flash

I am thoroughly confused by why my five year-old daughter wants no part of the baboon Halloween costume that I purchased for her two months ago at a local thrift store.


"It has a red bottom!" she wailed the other day.
"Yes!" I agreed. "That's the best part!"

Although I am perplexed by my daughter's refusal to wear prosthetic butt cheeks to her kindergarten Halloween party, I have decided to take my husband's advice and let her choose another costume.

Over the past few weeks, I have made a number of very excellent costume suggestions including jellyfish, cheese steak, and Copacabana dancer. Unfortunately, none of these ideas struck my daughter's fancy.

Just as I was beginning to get excited over the prospect that by default, I may get my little baboon after all, my daughter went and crushed all of my hopes and dreams.

"I want to be a nurse for Halloween," she announced to me yesterday morning in the NICU.
I snarled at the perky twenty-something NICU nurse standing next to me.
"Bad example," I whispered under my breath.

As we discovered on our afternoon shopping trip later that day, child nurse costumes are easy to find. Another good thing is that all of the costumes are really good quality. I pulled a $19.99 nurse costume out of a plastic bag at a Halloween superstore and, in the process, almost popped my hand right through it. I was pleased to discover that the costume was made of the same durable paper as the dressing gowns in my doctor's office.

"I'm not buying this," I announced to my daughter.
Before I could suggest that we try some other places, she started to cry.

"Do you know why I want to be a nurse for Halloween?" she asked me through crocodile tears.
I did not know, but I had a feeling that the cute NICU nurse had something to do with it.

"It's because you and I could be nurses together," Camber continued.
I had no idea what my daughter was talking about until she disappeared down the next aisle over and returned carrying a plastic bag containing the uniform belonging to "Nurse Hot Flash."

"Mmm," I said, examining the picture of the overexposed and extremely well-endowed nurse on the front of the package.

"This is a very nice costume," I agreed, "Especially for our church trunk-or-treat."

Camber beamed in anticipation.

"But I'm worried that I might get a little cold."

"You could run around a lot to keep warm," Camber suggested.

"Oh yes," I said, "That's a very good idea. I didn't think of that. In that case, I'll give it some serious thought."


Mrs. Morty said...

You definitely need to find some red stilettos to wear as you "run around to keep warm". Just don't trip :)

rachael said...

haha, that is too funny! great story... you get to be the slutty nurse :)

Jen E @ mommablogsalot said...

lmao well at least she meant well. "But mommy, I want to be just like you..." hahaha You've gotta love the total innocence of kids sometimes, cause you know she didn't know.

Likes Chocolate said...

Your husband might like this costume. It could get you brownie points for years.

Lisa said...

Too funny.

Speaking of slutty costumes, I was at the store the other day and was SHOCKED at the slutty costumes for the little girls these days (not even mentioning the adults!). What is up with that? Makes me glad my girls always want to wear the boy costumes.

dern64 said...

As a nurse, I really resent the slutty costumes out there. If your child really wants to be nurses together, go to a nurse's uniform shop.
They have scrubs in child and adult sizes - what real nurses wear! Also, most toy stores have medical kits where you could get a stethescope, etc. Have fun!

dern64 said...

also...they are cheap and make great pj's after the party!

MaryBeth said...

Maybe it's a good thing she didn't want to be the baboon. I mean, what would you have to be then?

Jan Russell said...

Why don't you suggest being her sick patient? Wear your pj's and be sure to trick-or-treat at Christina's house!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I'm sure YOU don't have this problem, but it would have taken an army of construction trucks to get my post-delivery body into an outfit like that. Everyone else at the party would have wished they came as blind people.

Liz said...

I'm thinking those zebra print shoes would SO make the outfit!!!

Janille said...

You could also wear Nurse Hot Flash to the NICU and post "fashion suggestions" for the medical professionals. I'm sure they would REALLY appreciate it.

Anonymous said...


I love the fake red butt idea. Too funny! Maybe you could wear that under the nurse costume and call yourself Nurse Hot Crossed Buns. *giggles uncontrollably*

Marissa said...

Don't you love that every adult costume out there is prostitute material. If it fits you post delivery you had better wear it, not many out there can.

Kamity said...

I've just figured out what I'm going to be for Halloween. A nurse! I've always wanted scrubs of my own!

(Could you imagine a pregnant woman in one of those Nurse Hot Flash costumes? I don't think they'll come in the right sizes. They need a costume line for preggos.)

Anonymous said...

I approve of this costume.

- Every man in America

The Wixom Zoo said...

Ha Ha! You should do it - get your hooker-red nail polish and lipstick and hit the town! lol! By the way, I left you some bling on my blog - go check it out! Amy

Amy said...

ROFL!!! I guess Camber needs a little more work in the modesty part of things.

Boy would you be the talk of trunk or treat. For YEARS to come.

Kelly said...

But if it rains, the thing will be inside and then you could wear that AWESOME costume. The bishop might give you a promotion to ward librarian.

Anonymous said...

Snort! Seriously, how can your children be so hilarious all the time?

Diva Ma said...

AHAHAH! That would be quite a show for your church friends, don't you think? Maybe if you got a Baboon suit in your size she might consider wearing hers? It's a thought.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that your post got me laughing right out loud...so much so that my husband became suspicious. Thanks! BTW I love another's suggestion of going to the uniform supply shop for scrubs and getting a little doctor's kit for the props, especially if the two of you do it together.

Eve said...

Its hilarious..! Well, Sexy nurse costume would be perfect for adult Halloween party.