November 6, 2008
My kids love surprises, which is why I didn't tell my boys that they were getting flu shots until we were in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office.
"What are we doing here?" asked Cortlen nervously.
"Surprise!" I shouted as I threw a little bit of confetti into the air.
I was a little hurt by the response that I received.
"Oh no!!!" Kellen wailed.
"I'm not going in there!" screamed Cortlen, pointing at the primary-colored torture chamber.
A deluxe bribe package that included a Happy Meal, a Dollar Store light saber, and thirty minutes of uninterrupted play on the riding lawnmowers at Home Depot was unsuccessful in coaxing my sons out of the car.
"Let's go," I said, counting to three.
While I crawled in one side of the car after one bad listener, the other bad listener climbed out the other. I didn't realize how strong twin B was until I wrestled him to the ground. I looked up to find the entire population of our pediatrician's waiting room staring at me through the front window.
By the time that we entered the pediatrician's office (a good 10 minutes later), every patient under the age of 7 was crying hysterically. Thankfully, Cortlen was there to calm everyone down.
"I'll bet that I'm not the only one getting a flu shot today!" he shouted.
I apologized to the other moms for ruining their surprises.
I have no idea why our normal wait time of 30 minutes was cut down to 2 minutes. No clue at all. A nurse hastily ushered us into a room and, without delay, produced two syringes from her pocket.
"Let's get this over with real quick," she said.
"Let's get all of you out of here real quick," she said in her head.
I held the first victim down while the nurse poked his bicep.
"That didn't hurt at all!" shouted Cortlen the second that it was over.
"Mine didn't hurt either," chirped Kellen a minute later.
"I was very brave," Cortlen announced to the waiting room on our way out.
"I didn't even fuss or cry," shouted Kellen triumphantly.
"Good job guys," I said as sincerely as I could.
"Let's go to McDonald's," I suggested once we were all safely in the car. All of that exercise had made me very hungry.
Labels: bad behavior