December 1, 2008

The First Meanest Mom Giveaway!

The difference between a mediocre mom blog and a great one is that the latter gives stuff away. I've always aspired to take my blog to the next level, but have been held back on account of the fact that I haven't had anything desirable to give away...that is, until now.

Announcing the first ever Meanest Mom Giveaway!

Up for grabs is a must-have for every woman this holiday season: a sophisticated, yet understated machine-made Christmas sweater! Guaranteed to impress your friends and breed jealousy in all who behold it, this one of a kind beauty comes to you straight from my city's most upscale shopping establishment (the same one that brought me my air hockey table and my kids' Halloween costumes). The price tag reads $3.99, but do not be fooled! Low cost does not equal low quality in this case. Although it is not nearly as fashionable as the ice skating teddy bear sweatshirt that was temporarily in my shopping cart at Wal-Mart last week, this one size fits all wonder promises to elevate one lucky lady's holiday wardrobe to new and remarkable heights.

(ultra flattering striped pants not included!)

If, like me, you fell in love with this sweater at first sight, then here's what you need to do to make it yours:

Reply to this entry with a comment that explains why you want the sweater so badly and/or what you plan to do with it. I'll evaluate your heartfelt pleas on Thursday night and on Friday, I'll announce the winner.

Because this sweater means so much to me, I'll only be willing to part with it if I know that it's going to a good home. If you win, you have to agree to send me a picture of the sweater in its new habitat so I can post it on my blog.

46 comments

Likes Chocolate said...

Gag, I think I will pass on this giveaway. Good luck to the lucky person who receives it. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!!!

Kris said...

My grandmother is the queen of bad gifts. There are 30 of us grandchildren, and so, we all usually end up with the same ugly sweater from the Kohl's clearance rack in a different color. I think this would be the BEST gift imaginable to give to her!

HW said...

I don't need that sweater, but thanks any way. My mother-in-law has one just like it and I bet I get it when she's done with it.

Keeping fingers crossed.

Jana said...

You people are hurting my feelings!

Mom to the King and Captain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vanessa said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that wants to pass on the sweater. LOL. Its perfect for my "interesting" aunt. :)

utmomof5 said...

NO way!!! I have the matching pants! I also have my hubbys work party that I need an outfit for! Please oh please let me be the winner! ;-)

Kim said...

There is a rodent that has invaded my laundry room. He is rather crafty and has, thus far, avoided my shiny, pain-inducing rat snack bar. He instead chose to eat my car seats and Christmas wreaths. Perhaps if he has this beautiful piece of rat bedding...oh, I mean, Christmas attire, he will leave my crap alone! 8-)

Rachel said...

I would love to win this sweater, because it would have a long life in the White Elephant gift rotation (Regifting is not only allowed, it's encouraged). Please, please please let me win, I have the perfect recipient in mind....

RaT Babies said...

Ohh..It's beautiful! If you want to send it global, my mum would love it.

Renny said...

Dear Jana,
I need this sweater desperately. Ugly sweaters are a holiday tradition. Plus I never win anything, and so, if I were to be seen aimlessly wandering the streets in this sweater, I feel it would be the culmination of all of my hopes and wishes. Please pick me. Please.

Helen said...

I want it! I want it! The young adults group at our church is having a Christmas party soon and part of it is a bad Christmas Sweater contest. I'm not able to go to the party, but my sister is and she's been scouring stores for a truly tacky sweater... I think yours wins! If only it lit up or had bells on it... Oh well, we could always add those :)

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Jana-
Please pick me, I'm desperate. Every year, we attend my husband's department Christmas party. He teaches Family Studies classes, but, unfortunately for me, his department includes the Fashion Design professors. Every year I feel like a " frumpy mom" at these fashionable parties with my red t-shirt and jeans. Your sweater is so fashionable, for once, I would fit in with the high fashion crowd. It would be a dream come true to wear this sweater to the party and finally feel festive and glamorous! :) Pick me!

Mrs. Incredible said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

Um.

No thank you.

But I love you anyway.

Becca said...

Dear Jana,

I should win your sweater because, being newly postpartum, I am currently a cup size FF. (Yeah. Double *F*.) I just can't seem to find a sweater that flatters my new figure, but I'm pretty sure--wearing this lovely fashion statement, with it's bells--people might be so enamored with what's *on* the sweater, they'd ignore the "good heaven's, they're the size of TEXAS" knockers *under* it. Bless you.

Auntie Sami said...

Jana,

Becca gets my vote for contest winner, just because she said her knockers are the size of Texas. That is by far the funniest comment posted. It's a public service to help her out!

Jess + Steve = Dylan said...

Well I figure I could most definitely use something of this high-end caliber for upcoming company holiday parties, daily errand running, perhaps even a midday rendezvous to the other half's office for lunch. Obviously my expectations are high for such a fine piece of fashion royalty. Being a self proclaimed, fashion forward twenty-something readjusting to the new life that is motherhood, I see no greater article for the preparation into GRANDmother-hood than with this darling cardigan sweater. Not to mention the bead work. Oh the bead work!!

xo,
In Dire Need of a Makeunder
aka Jess

Jana said...

I am the person for this sweater.

Although I'm not dating anyone (thereby down-sizing my chances of being a 'somewhat' to 'ultra mean' mom any time in the future) I love your blog (I am an avid reader and fan, of course!) and I need this sweater! I will wear it to horrify my future child at some point, I promise.

But wait! Let's not leave having this future child up to chance! There's more....!

This sweater will improve my dating life! I think if I wear it to the upcoming office Christmas party I may be able to snag a lucky man... (and then we'll get married... and have a kid... and then I'll wear it as previously mentioned).

This sweater would be dual purpose for me.

If you pick me I promise to lovingly use it... it will be hard snagging the man without the ultra flattering striped p.j. pants... but I'll use a little charm and perhaps a witty joke or two... and with the sweater I will work magic!

Jana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jana said...

Dear Jana,

I am having a hard time remembering to say everything in one comment... so I hope this will be the last... but I have more reason..

My name is Jana too (which makes me feel cool) plus... *drumroll*

My 25th birthday is this Wednesday. (December 3). Who could ask for more on their 25th birthday than to win such a treasure?

Kindest regards and a hopeful heart,
Jana

brossettelewis said...

I want it! We have a gift trade for Christmas and my sister would ROCK that sweater. Plus you have inspired me to take my blog to the next level and giveaway my *items*.

Plus, I helped you ditch the storm trooper so we're practically BFF.

Nikki said...

Oh - I wish I could have the sweater, but I am just not sure if it would fit in with the dress code her at BYUI....since that is the case I send a double vote out for either Becca- I just gotta see what her Texas knockers could for those beaded bells, but equally appealing would be the other Jana, who sounds like she could use some very good luck in her search for the perfect mate - you never know, he could be wearing the matching man version, and thus they would know they were meant to be...(i mean that lovingly)
The choices are so hard....I'm glad you get to choose :)

Nancy B said...

Just when I thought I might escape the wintertime blues, I find out that the striped pants are not included. A cloud of doom just follows me wherever I go. Sigh.

Reese said...

Oooh, please pick me. I have been searching forever for the perfect something to go with my red stretchy stirrup pants that I saved from junior high. I think this is just the thing. This giveaway was seriously worth the wait.

Jessica said...

Dear Jana,
Wow, talk about fate. I NEED that sweater. When I first saw it I didn't realize how much I needed and even desired it, but then, into my inbox appeared this fateful email:

"Ugliest Christmas Sweater Contest

Find that vintage sweater (cannot be altered) in your closet

to compete for prizes:
1st Place - $50.00 Gift Card

2nd Place - $25.00 Gift Card

3rd Place – Marie Callender Pie

Sweater must be worn to win!"


If I win the sweater I pledge to wear it to that contest in front of all my peers and supervisors and get a picture of it to send to you. Not only that, but I will be bowling as well, so I will also wear bowling shoes! A combo that cannot be topped, I'm sure. However, the only issue is I will need it by Dec. 11th!

Please, please choose me!
Jessica T

Ally in Wonderland said...

I also vote for Becca because she is the only one who made me laugh out loud.

Plus my word verification is "busil" which made me think of the word "busty" which then made me think of Becca. I think its a sign.

Ninny said...

I think you should give it to brossettelewis because you inspired her to do giveaways and maybe I can win something of hers. Unless it's that sweater...again. Which would actually be really funny to have a traveling blog sweater giveaway....

Ilana said...

Ok, I am halfway there: My roommate already HAS the super-flattering stripy pants. (Old Navy, right?) If I win the sweater, I can make all her holiday dreams come true by giving her the gift of a coordinated sweater-and-pants ensemble! It will be perfect for her company's holiday cocktail party.

RaT Babies said...

Because international shipping rates are kind of ridiculous, I am willing to give up my chance at winning the amazing sweater. However I have seen photos of the texas sized FF post partum rack that adorns Becca and she definitely gets my vote.

Anonymous said...

Jana,

I promise to wear the sweater as a coverup to the leopard lingerie I am hoping to receive for Christmas.....Now that is a sight...Forever your aunt Jean

Blog Buddy said...

This reminds me of Mary's jar of dandelions-her first giveaway too!

Jana said...

What?! There is an ugly sweater contest? I love it!

You guys are going to make it very hard to choose. So many of you are so deserving. Maybe I'll go shopping again today and see if I can find some of the sweater's "friends." You guys are hysterical.

Mindy said...

This is the best blog discussion so far...!! Your followers are so like you Jana...funny with a twist! I think I vote for Becca too...I have to see the pic of her in it!

Average Girl In Average World said...

I would love to have that sweater to "gift" to my hermit crab habitat so they too can have a festive Christmas!

And to all a good night.

BTW - This is serious and i found you over at "Life According to Candice"

Kristal said...

WOW so many hopefuls but only one will be happy this Christmas!
I have one almost but not quite the same already (it has Christmas trees instead) so as much I would love to reunite these two sisters I think I will pass it on so others may know the joy this sweater can bring.
K~
P.S I am voting for Becca or Jana, they both need this sweater so much! Good Luck.

Fosters said...

Jana, don't leave me out! I'm from a very small town, and when it's time for the elementary school Christmas program, I PROMISE to wear the sweater so EVERYONE in our surrounding area will see it! I've been thinking long and hard about what to wear with it, and can't come up with anything that will do it justice. SO, my preggers belly with g's is all that will go under this fab find!! Please pic me!! (BTW, MY birthday is tomorrow, too!! 12-3-80)

cuddle buggy said...

I really think I deserve the sweater, you see I am in the middle of a divorce after 14 yrs of marriage, my soon to be ex is a no good cheating rat....Our next court date is on Dec 17 Imagine how jealouse and regretful he would be at losing me once he saw me in this beautiful fashion statement. I know then he would realize younger is not always hipper.

Lisa said...

Dear Jana,

My generous, loving father treats me to exquisite Christmas gifts each year.

A few examples...

One recent year, he lovingly gave me the vacuum I'd drooled over. At least that's what the outer package said.

But when I opened the box, I discovered the jokester had replaced the vacuum with a stinky trashbag full of used cat litter. Boy, that was a special day.

Another year, he kept me guessing for several days about the contents of a large, wrapped box with my name on it. A computer, perhaps, he hinted?

No, it was something even better...a Sam's Club-sized box of Top Ramen. You can imagine my excitement.

One year when I was little, Dad gave me a G.I. Joe doll he fished out of the trashcan at his workplace. When I complained that one of the arms was missing, he wrapped a piece of toilet paper around it and said to pretend Joe had a broken arm.

I think this lovely sweater would be the perfect Christmas gift for someone who is such a selfless gift-giver.

And I guarantee the clown will wear it, too.

CODY - KAMI - HAZEN said...

GIGGLE! Okay, you had me laughing my head off. Well, the reason why this sweater MUST make it to my household is for this reason:

My (26 year old) husband found a long-sleeved, velvet-type forest green shirt 3 years ago. He has worn it EVERY Christmas (and that's the only day he wears it). It has been a joke for him, but yet... he has no problem wearing it to the functions we're invited to on Christmas day where NO ONE knows it's a joke. My husband's recent quest: to find me an equally as cool "Christmas Sweater" to wear on Christmas Day. I assure you, that as long as I shall live, your delightful sweater will be worn every Christmas Day. HA HA HA! And I will also have no problem modeling it for you in a photo... heck, I'll even have my husband in his equally as cool green shirt, standing next to me! You can email me @ ckquistfamily@hotmail.com if I'm the winner!

Fashion Forward Mom said...

As a single mom it is my duty and responsibility to take on the role of single handely embarrassing my 12 and 14 yr old daughters. I for one think my fashion sense is great, but apparantly in the pre-teen and teen world it is not so great.

Can't you just imagine the light in their beautiful brown eyes when their impeccably dressed Mother shows up for their upcoming Christmas concert adorned in such a fabulous piece of Christmas wear. I can actually see it now as they avert their eyes from mine, trying desperately to wish me away. And oh what their friends will say when I approach them after the concert to tell each of them how great they were. For added measure I might even ask a few of their friends out to the local Golden Corral for dinner afterwards then we could share this wonderful fashion statement with even more people. I just know my girls would be so happy to see that mom finally listened to them and changed her style. I really think I deserve the sweater as I try on a daily basis to come up with new and exciting ways to embarrass my children.

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Blast! How can I compete with Knockers the size of Texas?! I think Becca needs the sweater more than I do *sniff*. I mean, I nursed twins once, and know how it feels to have your chest taken over by what becomes an unflattering milking machine. Only good clothes you can wear with confidence can distract you from the nightmare that is postpartum chestline. She needs the sweater *sniff* and I will think of her when I attend my husband's work party in my frumpy mom clothes. *sniff, sniff* She deserves the happiness and camouflage the sweater can bring her. :)

Jana said...

After careful thought...I have realized I am not quite so deserving of this lovely holidy treasure. Give the sweater to Becca. She deserves it.

(I was hopeful, but I know someday I will win or even find something to help me snag my eternal companion. HA!)

This has been a lot of fun... I'm loving all of these comments.

-Jana

P.S. HaPpY BiRtHdaY to 'Fosters'... woo hoo for 12/3! :)

My Ice Cream Diary said...

It is a Christmas tradition that every Christmas eve I put on a hot little number and snuggle my personal Santa Claus by the Christmas tree. If I win I plan to wear this crazy hot number on that special night. I think it will totally make my man go gaga (or gag-gag).

Becca said...

10:59 am, Eastern Standard Time. Friday morning. We're all waiting in breathless anticipation, like finalists in the Piute County Miss Dairy Queen pageant.

Apparently the judges are still deliberating, which gives me time to oh-so-subtly adjust my pantyhose as I wait for the announcement...

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Cynthia said...

Can old grandma's post here? Reminds me of the time auntie Mildred made my three sisters and I, as well as mother, knitted ponchos in bright green and blue. The five of us stood by the pool on Christmas day smiling as gaily and coquettish as possible, each thinking she had the best poncho ... and now when I look at that photo, I wonder what I was thinking on that cool sunny Florida day: did I really really think that knitted poncho green, black and whit poncho make my voluptuous with child form look that good? Oh how time and styles and diseases posing as fashion do change.