Yesterday, I shattered my childrens' lives when I explained why, in the behind-the-scenes video clips from High School Musical, the movie director kept calling Troy Bolton by the strange name of Zac.
The concept of acting is a bit too abstract for my deep thinkers.
"His name is TROY BOLTON!" screamed Cortlen at the television set.
After cast members misidentified Troy a few more times, Cortlen unsheathed his plastic He-Man sword. Sensing that my television was about to be stabbed, I turned off the DVD.
"Acting is sort of like pretending," I explained to the confused and distraught.
My words were met with three blank stares and one inquiry about the number of hours left until dinner would be served.
"Like when you pretend to have a broken leg when someone accidentally steps on your foot," I continued.
Three light bulbs flickered, and then went out. Fake injury metaphors only get you so far in my house.
I tried a different example, hoping that the difference between real and make-believe would be more transparent when applied to a cartoon.
"Transformers are just pretend," I said.
I hoped for a flash of understanding; what I got instead was a stunned look of collective disbelief.
"Transformers are too real!" three kids yelled.
I was forced to admit defeat when, after telling the story to my neighbor, she showed me this video:
I want an Optimus Prime outfit so bad.