January 30, 2009

Product Review


Baby Swim
Rating: FIVE TRILLION STARS

Product Description: Your daughter/granddaughter/weird doll collector neighbor will love this doll that sort of swims. Plop her into any bathtub, neighborhood drainage ditch or unchlorinated swimming pool (chlorinated water voids warranty) and watch her power kick in place. No on/off switch makes this little beauty a parent's dream! This swim team superstar is equipped with a state-of-the-art belly sensor that activates when she touches water, as well as at other random and inappropriate times, like when a toilet flushes, or when you close the refrigerator door too hard. Plastic goggles guaranteed to spontaneously break within 30 minutes of package opening or when your precious darling tries to put them on her own head, whichever comes first.

Price: $39.99 Target
$ 39.99 Toys 'R Us
$24.97 for a crushed, half-opened box found on the clearance aisle in the lawn and garden department of a large supercenter.
Requires: 3 AAA batteries; hedge clippers to remove doll from packaging.
What Would Make this Product Even More Awesome Than It Already Is?
Baby Swim Triplets! Who doesn't LOVE multiples, especially ones that tread water in tandem?! Note to manufacturers: Please make sure that the trio includes 2 girls and a token boy who is anatomically ambiguous and/or open to cross-dressing and gender reassignment if his pint-sized mommy thinks boy babies are gross.
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Have an awesome toy that you want to recommend/review? Go to it in the comments!
Have a toy that you want ME to review? If I have it, have had it, or can buy it at the thrift store for less than $5, I'll give it some serious thought. I'm particularly interested in toys that are a great value for your money and are super durable. Small parts a plus. Included in a manufacturer's recall= double plus.

30 comments

I'm just me... said...

Ahhhh yes the Look Mommy I Can Swim baby. This was a must have last Christmas at our house. After Grandma paid an outrageous amount for it my little one has played with it twice in over a year. She does swim around the bathtub, but after one trip across the tub she is boring. Big waste of money at our house.

The Eadle Family said...

I may consider getting this for the girls birthday now. Thanks!

Amanda said...

My kid keeps asking for the "I Gotta Go Doll." Seriously, it's all she would talk about before Christmas. I can't figure out why a four year old who is so grossed out when I change her baby sister's diaper in the same room wants a baby that pees and poops. Needless to say, she didn't get one for Christmas.

Jen said...

Excellent knowledge of the product! Review is greatly appreciated as I don't get to be privy to such great "go-to" knowledge at my house since all that we have here are trucks, GI Joe and guns. ;)

echoeve said...

The 'gotta go doll' was a hot item this Christmas. My 7 year old bought one with her Christmas money. It's really Baby Alive. The gotta go doll is the potty training version. Check out my blog where the kids fight over it in Lowe's. Fun times.
http://echoeve.blogspot.com/2009/01/baby-alive.html

Maranie said...

Alas, we have this doll at home too. The batteries have been removed, as my little one was kinda creeped out by the doll's herky-jerky motions coming at her in the tub.

Might I also recommend the Disney Princess Magic Talking Nursery, which should get 500 gazilion stars for its flimsy design and annoying stickers? Although the box tells you what type of weird little hearing-aid batteries to buy for the contraption, it doesn't tell you where they go, leading you on a search for teeny tiny battery ports akin to the search for the Holy Grail. Once you've found all these ports in the toy's nether regions, the "talking" the center does is not baby coos or little princess voices, but rather a sickeningly sweet woman's voice saying things like "nightie night, little princess!" and "it's time for the royal bath!" Because my five-year-old is presumed to be unable to articulate such fine points of play herself. As she has requested another removal of batteries (screwdriver not included), I'm left with a huge piece of plastic that retailed for $79.99 around Christmas. What a bargain! :-P

Julie said...

Oh you haven't lived until you have a set of HULK Hands. They make smashing noises and say things like "Don't make me angry...you won't like me when I'm angry!" It really has helped our boys with anger management skills...yeah right!

Lisa said...

Abby got the Barbie Pooper Scooper (not sure of the actual name) a couple years ago. Yes, the dog actually poops brown pellets out. Nice. It was recalled because the pellets were magnets and kids were getting sick from "eating the poop." Fantastic. :)

peapodsquadmom said...

you are brilliant. this was funny as heck...and just what i needed today. :-)

(hope i didn't scare you off from multiple bliss.)

Holly said...

Oh, the Mickey Mouse Motors Racing Speedway is a SUPER GREAT buy! Ringing up at around $65 the cars "race" around the tiny track one whole time before you have to crank them up again. That is, of course, if you can get the stupid thing to stay together for one whole lap. Should have let the kids be dissappointed at Christmas after all.

Maree said...

Ahh yes, we also got the Barbie pooper scooper set--so great!

My favorite was the Polly Pockets Airplane that was a pain to snap together and that darling daughter couldn't figure out how to set up or keep up. It took up enough room that we had to make an addition to the house, just to fit in the airplane. Since it kept falling apart, darling daughter NEVER played with it. Good thing that was a gift from Santa, or I'd be unhappy about the amount of money basically wasted.

Anonymous said...

Poor Swimming Baby... she has yet to get to fulfill her destiny. My daughter won't let her swim. We also have Swimming Puppy. He has never touched the water.

CurlyQuinn said...

So glad that Santa forgot the swim baby this year. It was on our little one's list as well. However, the year before Baby Alive was on the list and good ol' Santa came through. The first time my daughter feed the baby it pooped through the diaper and on to the floor. Which of course was the very last time the baby was played with. I bet Santa was glad he paid $50 for that gem!

Kim said...

A couple years ago my son had to pick out a birthday present for a little girl. I took him to the Barbie aisle at Walmart and he picked out a doll that came with a dog. The dog's accessories included little pellets you could put in the dog's mouth. Then when you lift the dog's tail, it poops them out. I'm sure her parent's appreciated the gift.

The Mommy said...

I despise any toy that does not have an on/off switch. As a matter of fact, that's my most common piece of advice for new parents (that, and volume control)!

My favorite toy (for real!) is the Hot Wheels Blast n Crash track. It sends a car screaming around the track at 110 mph and the object is to push the button at the proper time and cause a 7 car pile-up! Brilliant (if not a little disturbing)! The adults played with this for HOURS last Christmas!

wannabee free said...

I actually don't buy toys for my kids, santa doesn't come to our house, so my poor kids are deprived and I think we're happy with whatever we get from grandparents and cousins.
beggars can't be choosers!

Hagan Wagon said...

Dolls are getting weirder every day- last week I walked down the doll aisle in WalMart, and 1/2 dozen baby dolls began crawling in their boxes. Maybe if they came with a mop attachment...

Mary and Steve said...

There is a very obnoxious toy that my son's uncle had to get him for that very reason. It looks like a car console with a key that turns and blinkers, there is also a radio control. To top it off the gear shift when pulled or pushed sends the high quality annoyance into fits of vibration. Does not include and on/off switch, which made me cry. Actually when my son got it for his birthday it made him cry too!

trisha said...

This was also a Christmas gift at my house, or should I say 3 gifts for my 5 year old daughter and 2 year old boy/girl twins. I have to say the best part of gift opening was when my son opened his, he was delighted, and immediately took the boy dolls trunks off, then made his way around the room to show everyone the dolls "dinker". Yes, he is anatomically correct, which absolutley horrified his grandmother as he kept for some reason sticking it in her face! They do love the dolls and they are in the bathtub every night with the kids.

Robin said...

Ohhhhh, I have a super-fun toy to review! My dear hubby's sister gave our little man (5 y.o. at the time), a Disney Cars Racetrack thing for Christmas. You have two little cars that you put at the top of the track, and they race their way down. Pretty simple, and DS loved it. The problem with the toy was the sound.....or better yet, the "voice" of the King himself, Richard Petty. King Richard would SHOUT each time it was touched things like "LET'S GO RACING!",and "YOU'RE ONE GUTSY RACER!" even more loudly followed by the sound of a reving car engine, and tires burning-out. That was even OK while DS was actually playing with it, but it would just randomly start shouting when it wasn't even being touched! Nothing like tip-toeing into my son's room to kiss him goodnight, and then hearing Richard Petty Cheering me on! While DS was in school, the nice little race track found it's way into a large garbage bag, Richard shouting at us the entire time. I sure miss him...NOT!

Robin
http://alabamaslackermama.blogspot.com/

Holly said...

JUST WAIT until your kids find Polly Pocket. While I am not experienced with the airplane, I am intimately with the Travel bus/motor home/rock star tour mess. It falls apart every single time you open it, the canopy doesn't stay on, the "elevator" falls off, and on and on.

And then you will also discover that the Polly Pocket clothing rips in half reeeeaaaallly easily.

Awesome.

Momma Beth said...

Any parent that loves loud toys should immediately run out and buy the Handy Manny tool set with the dancing, singing toys. It has the most wonderful loud singing and the grinding gears just make it a musical masterpiece. I gently pick it up and resist the urge to throw it against the wall daily. The tools only fit in one hole each so of course they never go back in there. If you child is like mine they hit the button over and over again until it sings in repetition the first 2 beats of the song... Oh I dream about this lovely toy, what would the world be like without this!

Lisa said...

FYI, Polly Pocket pieces also can be pooped out fairly easily from dog and babies. Experience talking here.

Beth said...

You just made me miss toys. My children don't play with toys anymore - unless Ipods and cars count.

The Prestwich's said...

maybe it's just me, but should we be discouraging our children from dropping small babies into water? Maybe I'm wrong. I am a big fan of the pop up tents that are supposed to break down for storage into a nice disk-and require a half a day to force them into their convenient coin sized bag.

Moon sand. Now there's a winner. Vaccuum should be included.

Tara G. said...

Oh My - I have to second the Moon Sand nomination here. My triplets got about 50lbs of it for their birthday last year. I was totally excited about the hours of wonderful quiet play it was going to provide me -- until we had our first session.

The colored sand goes in every direction. We had it stuck on toys, in their hair, tile grout...you name it. The ten minutes of play resulted in about 40 min of clean up.

Needless to say, we have about 30lbs left in the original packaging that I keep thinking needs to go to Goodwill.

Elizabeth said...

Noise Toys:
Grandma found a toy electric guitar at the thrift store. The demo button blasts "It's a Small World After All" in great and glorious electronic tones. Repeat song until parents put the guitar in time out on the high shelf.
Wooden animal shape puzzles that make the animal sound when you place the piece correctly (other Grandma). Also makes the sound when you turn on/off the lights, when the sun or moon moves across the room....screeching rooster in the living room at 2 AM is so nice.

Shaunte Wadley said...

I went and bought this thing last night for my daughters birthday clear in April...going on your recommendation alone. It better be good or I am coming right back here to get my money back. ;)

Here is a gem.
My daughter got the Polly Pocket Cruise Ship. What a great Bath! Toy! I thought.
It sinks. Immediately.
The jet-ski that came with it also sinks.
Then I noticed the package says "not for water play."
Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot.

Bugs said...

TinkerToys = best idea ever!
***** (five stars)
The JUMBO builder set come with at least a thousand peices (even though it says there are only 102) that need to be cleaned up continuously. And it's made with REAl wood. Which means you get REAL slivers. Who needs plastic?

Heather S said...

PLAYSKOOL BUSY BASICS BUSY BALL POPPER
This was purchased for my 12 month old. All of my kids play with it. My husband and I have fun with it too.